uh...

[NekoNinja]

i had to write a rhyming poem for LA class....but i pretty much suck at poetry...and we have to turn it in for everyone to see!! It had to be a true story too, so i wrote about a funeral... So, any help with this poem?

The air is cold, and the wind is strong
We’re standing together, a black patch on the grass
Thinking of that one moment made everything go wrong
As the musician plays a classic Mass

I glare angrily at the woman dressed in fur
Laughing and joking like nothing’s wrong
She gives me a fake cat smile like the Cheshire’s
And the music still plays the same song

We start to leave, and his kids whisper their last goodbyes
He’s sleeping now with his mother, sister, and child
As the two twins held each other close and began to cry
The music played and the mink woman smiled

Walking on the wet grass, with nameplates decked with gold
Tears streaming down everyone’s face
And I’m shaking, but not from the cold
And in the background I hear “Amazing Grace”

right....i know its bad, so any help? T.T

[NicholasDWolfwood]

I think its fantastic, only a heartless could remain unmoved.
_________________
-<|>-________-<|>-
.........\/\/\/\/\/\/
........./\/\/\/\/\/\

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jq6q8fU9PiM

There's no I in Team. There's a Me though if you jumble it up.- Dr. House

92% of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Post this in your signature if you would be one of the 8% watching and laughing.