I don't think this is completely right.

[luckycloverluck]

Meh, just a stress-reliever I did in my spare time, but now I want to turn it into something good.

So, can anyone redline, critique, etc. for me? And yes, I'll be cleaning up the lineart when I've fixed up anatomy issues and such.

[img]http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/5583/vanitymg6.png[/img]
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[princezuko101]

maybe a bigger mouth/ lips.....
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[img]http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z207/dishy-kun/Death%20Note/deathnotesig1.jpg[/img]

[angelskip43]

i dont think you need so many wrinkles in the shirt around the breasts
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[url=http://www.fanart-central.net/user-angelskip43.php]Gallery♪♪[/url]

[rlkitten]

The nose seems to far to the right.
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[img]http://i806.photobucket.com/albums/yy341/KuroiFaith/Zeldabanner.jpg[/img]

[spiritedchaos]

The body looks fine, but the head is slightly off - are you starting with guidelines? They're handy for lining all the features up properly:

[img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y262/spiritedchaos/redline-1.gif[/img]

First thig I did was draw on the guidelines; a vertical one (on which the nose and mouth go and around which the eyes should be centred) and a horizontal one which should go across the middle of the head and onto which you put the eyes (note how they curve as the head curves).

As you've gone for an almost 3/4 view, the face should start to distort - see how the vertical line doesn't divide the face into exact halves? Everything to the left of the line should be squashed to fit in this smaller space.

Next thing is the eyes, the left is narrower compared to the right as it's on the half of the face which curves away. First draw a circle to represent the eye, it's far easier to deform the circle until it looks right than to deform the eye itsself.

Once you've sorted the circle guidelines out it's easy to draw in the eyes on top. Next is the nose and mouth - just line them up on your vertical guideline (remember the left side of the mouth should be squashed, just like the left eye!)

Hope that's helpful

[anime-junkie]

[img]http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k47/Anime-Junkie-Kelsey/vanitymg6editlulz.jpg[/img]

Uh, yeah. I changed the facial features dramatically, and the shoulders. Try to keep the hair simple, or, elaborate it with colours, instead of lineart.

I'm not actually all that sure..
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[HarraArial]

I'm no expert, but one thing I found a little odd was the lineart itself, not the positioning of things ((save for maybe the lips, they just look a mite odd...)) Would be the thickness of the lines, it might be a better idea to have each of the lines ((save for the wrinkles and highlights and the like)) to be the same thickness.

[bishielover75]

No. Varying line thickness is good. It gives a better illusion of depth to the drawing. However, they've done it very awkwardly and have instead chosen to make entire objects or areas have a single line thickness that differs from other areas.

[hellmasker]

This is my slight change for the nose and lips, from the original image.

[img]http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m206/renotenz/vanitymg6.png[/img]