| View previous topic :: View next topic   | 
	
	
	
		| Author | 
		Message | 
	
	
		ShadowsGirlfriend1_0 Newb
  
  Joined: 14 Mar 2006 Posts: 13 Location: EVERYWHERE
  | 
		
			
				 Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:32 am    Post subject: Looking for helpful critique(and possibly new readers!) | 
				     | 
			 
			
				
  | 
			 
			
				- Title: Team H.A.K. 
 
- URL: http://www.fanart-central.net/story-48240.html 
 
- Series: Sonic the Hedgehog 
 
- Pairing? N/A 
 
- Summary: Three kids are accepted into a privately-owned organization. What they think is a simple day job, turns out to be a hardcore squadron program. In order to become the best of the best, they must learn to work together and fight unexpected enemies.  
 
- Advisories: There is very coarse language, a lot of blood shed and violence(plus it will be descriptive as possible!), and black humor. This isn't for people who are easily nauseated and troubled either.
 
- Extra: I've been known to write horribly long chapters for a story before this one. So this time, if a chapter becomes too drawn out, I am splitting it  into sections. So it'll sort of be like a 'chapter within a chapter'. I am hoping this will do me, and whoever is reading, some good. So just bear with me please, I will make this as enjoyable as possible   _________________ Where did all these stupid people come from? | 
			 
		  | 
	
	
		| Back to top | 
		 | 
	
	
		  | 
	
	
		MrGimp Newb
  
  Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 9
 
  | 
		
			
				 Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:43 am    Post subject:  | 
				     | 
			 
			
				
  | 
			 
			
				I've been reading this story, and so far, it's really good. You manage to capture every little detail and pay attention to every characters personality, which makes everyone unique rather than a blank person. The details in every characters action, describings of the surroundings, and the thoughts are well done. I'm really looking forward to read more!    | 
			 
		  | 
	
	
		| Back to top | 
		 | 
	
	
		  | 
	
	
		Tinner1214 My First Post!
  
  Joined: 05 Apr 2008 Posts: 1
 
  | 
		
			
				 Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:40 am    Post subject:  | 
				     | 
			 
			
				
  | 
			 
			
				| You should develop the plot more, I think. Everything is good so far. A nice assasination attempt might liven things up. | 
			 
		  | 
	
	
		| Back to top | 
		 | 
	
	
		  | 
	
	
		 |