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What if I told you a story about death and.........

 
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artcannon
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Joined: 25 Mar 2009
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:09 am    Post subject: What if I told you a story about death and......... Reply with quote

The future,the past,present and about life.
what if I told you a story that would trap you're mind. what if, Just what if i told you a story that will make you cry.This is a story that will change your look on life.


It's coming soon to FAC




artcannon
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London
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Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 6474

PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spaces belong after commas and periods. You don't need the second "about" in your first sentence, which is actually a fragment that doesn't fit in properly with the title of the thread. It should also end in a question mark. You also seem to have difficulties with correct capitalization, and it should be "your mind," not "you're mind." Punctuate.
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artcannon
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Joined: 25 Mar 2009
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:07 am    Post subject: I had no time what.... Reply with quote

So ever to do this I am on my brothers pc.
I haven't had time to correct. I don't even have a rough draff.
So please just stay with the story and enjoy... thanks


artcannon
p.s
I know how to write. I'm in college at the time. Thanks anyway.
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