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ShadowsGirlfriend1_0 Newb
Joined: 14 Mar 2006 Posts: 13 Location: EVERYWHERE
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Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:32 am Post subject: Looking for helpful critique(and possibly new readers!) |
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- Title: Team H.A.K.
- URL: http://www.fanart-central.net/story-48240.html
- Series: Sonic the Hedgehog
- Pairing? N/A
- Summary: Three kids are accepted into a privately-owned organization. What they think is a simple day job, turns out to be a hardcore squadron program. In order to become the best of the best, they must learn to work together and fight unexpected enemies.
- Advisories: There is very coarse language, a lot of blood shed and violence(plus it will be descriptive as possible!), and black humor. This isn't for people who are easily nauseated and troubled either.
- Extra: I've been known to write horribly long chapters for a story before this one. So this time, if a chapter becomes too drawn out, I am splitting it into sections. So it'll sort of be like a 'chapter within a chapter'. I am hoping this will do me, and whoever is reading, some good. So just bear with me please, I will make this as enjoyable as possible _________________ Where did all these stupid people come from? |
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MrGimp Newb
Joined: 12 Feb 2006 Posts: 9
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Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:43 am Post subject: |
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I've been reading this story, and so far, it's really good. You manage to capture every little detail and pay attention to every characters personality, which makes everyone unique rather than a blank person. The details in every characters action, describings of the surroundings, and the thoughts are well done. I'm really looking forward to read more! |
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Tinner1214 My First Post!
Joined: 05 Apr 2008 Posts: 1
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Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 6:40 am Post subject: |
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You should develop the plot more, I think. Everything is good so far. A nice assasination attempt might liven things up. |
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