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TsuNekoChan Very bored
Joined: 24 Jan 2006 Posts: 249 Location: Florida
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Posted: Mon Apr 06, 2009 5:08 pm Post subject: Poetry of the 'Neko' Kind |
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I feel like sharing some of my poems with you guys.
[u]Helpless[/u]
Life comes at you faster then you anticipate,
And daunting reality creeps up after you,
Losing your sanity,
Leaving you holding on to an invisible thread,
Only to see it break in mere seconds.
That fragile string held together an unbreakable bond,
Tied around two hearts, both in sync to one another but
A change of pace has disturbed the balance.
The thread unravels,
Falling limply to the floor,
Like the dead leaves of winter,
Cold and lifeless,
Shriveling to nothing.
[u]L-O-V-E[/u]
A simple word, four letters,
Its meaning undefined,
Its presence hardly seen,
Its true face masked
and lost in a sea of other feelings.
Blind and lame
in the eyes of a non-believer
I have it, I possess it,
It can't be seen,
It can't be touched,
Intangible but concrete,
Its there and I feel it _________________ [i]Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman[/i] |
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Ryokou Member
Joined: 11 Oct 2006 Posts: 68 Location: In front of a computer screen
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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Ohh, poetry from you~ <3
There's a spelling error in the first line of [u]Helpless[/u]. [i]Then[/i] is supposed to be [i]than[/i]. Other than that, I see no grammar or spelling mistakes. 8D
I especially like [u]Helpless[/u], but that's just me and my taste for angst. XD
[i]Leaving you holding on to an invisible thread,
Only to see it break in mere seconds.[/i]
That depicts what losing your sanity feels like perfectly in my opinion. You're on the edge and the last thing that keeps you form falling disappears in an instant.
[i]That fragile string held together an unbreakable bond, [/i]
Maybe it's just me, but that seems contradictory. A fragile string holds an unbreakable bond? Could you explain what you meant by this please? :3
[i]The thread unravels,
Falling limply to the floor,
Like the dead leaves of winter,
Cold and lifeless,
Shriveling to nothing. [/i]
ANGST. LOVE IT. <3
[i]It can't be seen,
It can't be touched,
Intangible but concrete,
Its there and I feel it[/i]
So true. It surprises me how sometimes people who don't know much know more about life and love than very well-educated people.
Keep writing Jay! You're a true poet from what I see so far. |
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blackcatcurse Forum contributor
Joined: 19 Feb 2009 Posts: 744 Location: Even I wonder that.
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Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 5:13 pm Post subject: |
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This is good. Not my kind of poetry, but good.
[i]Why do poets express
Their loss
When all they lose
They regain with words tossed?[/i]
Sorry, I have a better one on my computer...somewhere...buried in the gigabytes of data... _________________ [url=http://www.tinierme.com/tinierme/newaccount.do?invNickname=4c596976577061217c2a50323f452249f9ee5d6f76286b0d48fef26af4fa55c4&visit=friend][img]http://img.tinierme.com/common/img/banner/banner_friendInvite02.gif[/img][/url] |
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