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my friend is starting to get on my nerves

 
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Gerardthedevil
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:47 am    Post subject: my friend is starting to get on my nerves Reply with quote

She would always come crying to me about how she was molested, and she's always being touched by guys. At first, I felt really bad for her.
But then she keeps doing things that get her in that situation.
I remember I told her not to go sleep over at a guys house. But what does she do, she sleeps over at his house then comes crying to me about how everyone wanted to touch her and she had to sleep in the bathroom.
Next she tells me while she working this older man started flirting with her so then she flirted back with him, then he followed her in the bathroom, and again. She came crying to me about how he tried to touch her.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I want to be a good friend, and Im always trying to steer her in the right path. But she keeps doing stupid things.
And even when I tell her, don't do it, I have a bad feeling, she does it anyway.
What should I do?
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SonicnTails
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

She sounds like an attention whore to me. She does it to get attention, then cries about it to get attention.
She just needs to grow up and stop doing that, there's no point to it.
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Gerardthedevil
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its just I don't know what to say to her. I really just want to call her stupid and she needs to learn from her mistakes. But at the same time, I don't want to be mean to her.
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xAmiDarkfieldx
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just tell her if shes going to do stupid things like that that causes guys to want to touch her, to not go crying to you. Cause all your doing is trying to steer in the right path but its her flirting and her stupid decisions to sleep at a guys house that causes guys to want to touch her.

Tell her next time she does it to not go crying to you cause your sick of her stupid bullshit cause she is just an attention whore apparently. If she really was upset about all of this she wouldn't flirt or make stupid decisions in the first place.
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blackcatcurse
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 12:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her that if she dressed badly and wore her makeup poorly, no one would touch her. Because all her other actions are encouraging it.
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Gerardthedevil
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 5:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's just I don't want to be mean to her, but when I'm nice she doesn't listen. I guess it's best for tough love.
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SweetxinsanityxSarah
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 6:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her to take up karate, get a tasor, and pepper spray. Plus to wear a chastity belt. If she refuses any of those offers than show some tough love and say your shoulder is rusting from all her crying. o3o
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xAmiDarkfieldx
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 12:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Screw that Sarah, show her tough love now. Shes not a god damn child. But if she wants to ignore her friends advice and crap then she can find somewhere else to cry cause its her own stupidity thats getting her into these messes in the first place.
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SilverKitsune
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't listen to any of these people, regardless of whether she is looking for attention or not you shouldn't treat her badly. She is traumatized from being molested as a child. She trusts you and goes to you whenever something goes wrong. You need to be there for her no matter what. Just keep telling her to stop bringing sexual attention to herself and tell her not to get into situations where she would be stuck with a male, one on one. If she continues to be self destructive then I would tell her to see a professional to help her. Touch love doesn't mean be mean to her and call her an attention whore. She is the way she is for a reason.

Just because she wants attention, doesn't mean she wants to be touched. I'm sure we've all flirted before and just because we flirt with a person doesn't mean that we are fine with them touching our bodies.

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SilverKitsune
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

blackcatcurse wrote:
Tell her that if she dressed badly and wore her makeup poorly, no one would touch her. Because all her other actions are encouraging it.


This is wrong. Why add LOW SELF ESTEEM? It would only make things worse.
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Gerardthedevil
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Silver.

Well I've been telling her to seek out a professional help for half a year, and I've even refered her to some of my own therapist, yet she still won't listen.
I really love and don't want anything bad to happen to her. I can't be mean, no way.

But me giving tough love, is like saying to her "you need to learn from your mistakes..."
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SilverKitsune
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gerardthedevil wrote:
Thank you Silver.

Well I've been telling her to seek out a professional help for half a year, and I've even refered her to some of my own therapist, yet she still won't listen.
I really love and don't want anything bad to happen to her. I can't be mean, no way.

But me giving tough love, is like saying to her "you need to learn from your mistakes..."


Some people just don't learn that way unfortunately..
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Gerardthedevil
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now Im in trouble. My friend is using suicide to threaten me and I don't know what to do.
We planned a sleep over on halloween weekend. But on the day another friend of mine was having a birthday party. Birthday parties on important to me. Since its to celebrate a birthday. I told my friend that maybe we'll leave the sleep over for another time, but imma still come over sunday so we can chill watch movies etc... So she ignored me the whole day then overdosed because of that. Also now she's begging me to come on sunday.
I really feel like she's using suicide to get her way and threaten me.
And now my mom doesn't want me hanging out with her because of this whole situation. I don't know what to do, I want to go because not only do I feel bad, but she needs support.
But my mom said no because of this.
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luckylace222
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

@~@ * scratches head* This is some drama here...!

From what I deduct from your words, she almost sounds desperate for your attention. Possibly you are the only one she can talk to? Overdose and suicide?! BAH!

Although...I do not recommend disobeying your mother either. She is concerned for a reason. Possibly talk to your friend during school heart to heart before this gets any worst?
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Gerardthedevil
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 8:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well she doesn't go to the same school I do. She attends a Jewish school.
But everytime I tell her, she needs to tell a doctor asap how she's feeling or change her meds she says " I don't want to talk about that"
"Are you coming over for halloween" "I don't know what I'll do if you don't"
And her parents know she overdosed. I just think she needs to be hospitalized.
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Gerardthedevil
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wish shed stop leaving her problems on me and take things into her own hands.
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luckylace222
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes if you have done all you could, you can leave it at that.

Do not worry about something you cannot control. Unless she has the courage to seek help or take her problems into her own hands, she will be bringing it upon herself. This is not in your hands, it is in hers.
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Tinkster
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2010 11:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

if someone threatens to commit suicide you don't tell them not to do it and you don't tell them get a life either. You IGNORE them. Worked perectly for someone I know and now that person if fine.
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luckylace222
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 6:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

-unless her depression was a result of loneliness, and you ignoring her just fuels her problems and makes her commit suicide faster. Sad
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Tinkster
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

well in that case DON'T IGNORE HER. I have had a friend that wanted to commit suicide once and shew had to take medication. Afterward I juts talked to her and answered her questions about the stupidity of life.

so either ignore them, or talk to them.
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