Will's Non-punctual Videogame Reviews

[VR_Jay]

Ok, so I know I'm not alone here. You play a game that has been out for literally years and everyone else knows about it and it is totally old news but, for the life of you, you can't stop talking about it. You [i]need [/i]to talk about it. You need to geek and obsess over it, even if no one else is willingly listening. This is exactly how I feel right now.

I just finished playing Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem for the Game Cube and I have to tell you, this game rocks. I really didn't know what I would be playing when I sat down. I figured it would be a survival horror to some degree, but I was not expecting what this game gave me.

This thing will screw with your head. It is a [i]literal [/i]mind-f**k. Yes, it has the generic "scariness" that other games of the genre possess, but it is more than that, so much more that you almost have to put it in a class by itself. This game doesn't just freak you out in the game world; it messes with you in the real world as well. It had me looking over my shoulder more than once, and I even threw my controller in shock a few times.

What this game does perfectly is make you feel like you are going insane. The more your character's sanity slips, the more the game slides into the land of surreal. In the game's environment terms, this could mean seeing blood dripping from the walls, watching a statue turn and gaze at you, or the entire room suddenly rotating so that down is up and up is down. Fun stuff, to be sure.

But this is nothing compared to the real world freakiness that this game offers. You will start hearing voices and whispers coming from the game. A bug my crawl across the screen, as if attracted to the light of your TV. At one occasion the volume suddenly turned down, [i]convincingly [/i](with the little volume bar and everything). The game will flash a message screen that your controller is unplugged or it will suddenly turn off your TV in a realism that made me look around to see if someone was screwing with the remote (even though I knew I was the only person in the house). It once started rolling ending credits; announcing that the game was over and that I should keep a lookout for the next installment, Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Redemption. It even fucks with you in the MENUE screens, telling me when I went to save a game that I had somehow accidentally deleted all my game files instead. It will even take the controls away from you, making your character suddenly start firing their weapons or moving in the opposite direction than the one you had indicated. Play this is in the dark and you suddenly get that eerie sensation that someone is watching you. My only qualm is that it's too easy to regain your sanity. If I were to change that, I would make sure once your guy goes insane, he stays insane for a good long while. What is good is that you [i]can [/i]stay insane if you wish by simply avoiding refilling your sanity meter, which is (thankfully) easy to do, ensuring plenty of creepiness for hours on end.

I could go on and on in describing all the different ways this game molests your reasoning, but that would take pages, and I don't want to give them all away. My suggestion is that if you haven't played it already, you should. The absolutely awesome insanity effects, coupled with the sheer unpredictability of this game, make for one fun and very freaky experience.
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[color=black]"Your toast is burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff!" ~ Caboose, Red vs. Blue[/color]

[Fayore]

GameCube?

Nintendo actually has a game that could qualify as a mindfuck? Major revelation. o_o

Too bad I don't actually own a GC, then maybe I could see what you're talking about. ^^;
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[LunaticCrow]

Wow, that sounds..

Like the best horror game ever. Would you reccomend purchasing this game, or renting it? How would you rate the replay value? Come on man, give me some advice here. :(

So, what game should we look foreward to seeing a review on next? Will it be a title to rival this one? Or perhaps a light hearted Platformer?
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[VR_Jay]

Replay value? Oh, its here. Since it gives you a choice early on in the game that effects the rest of the story and gameplay, you can litteraly play this game three times through. Plus, if you do, you get a different ending the third time out. As for rent or buy, I don't like buying games when I don't have to because I'm cheap, but I doubt you could beat the whole game on just a rental.

As for what game I'll review next, couldn't tell you. Lets just see what comes up.
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[color=black]"Your toast is burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff!" ~ Caboose, Red vs. Blue[/color]

[Stratadrake]

[quote]Too bad I don't actually own a GC,[/quote]
$100 could fix that easily. And if you're in to the whole horror genre thing, you should go pick up Resident Evil 4 (aka "RE4") .
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[infurno]

I know how you feel I like to play the unknown old games,

Vigilante 8 psx, 1997

This is my faavorite game but nobody knows what it is.. And Its bu activision (the guys who broght us DOOM 3)
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[VR_Jay]

Time for a new review!

I no longer have a soul. It has been corroded, eaten away. I am a hollow shell of the man I once was. And all because of a game called Fable.

I got the game on Monday, and literally havent slept since then. It has consumed me. I have skipped several meals and more than a few classes for the sake of this game. It is all my sleep deprived brain can think of. My mind, glazed over due to no stimulation other than that game, can no longer separate fiction from reality. Walking down the sidewalk to class, I notice everyone else is surrounded by a purple hue. When I approach them, that hue turns to green, a list of actions appear, and I can then choose to either flirt or scare them. Many girls I look at have hearts above their heads; so do some guys too. It frightens me. I find myself craving apple pie and red meat. I walk into oncoming traffic with reckless abandon thinking, Its ok, I have more than enough Resurrection Phials left. I have, on more than one occasion, felt the urge to hold my research paper (which I got an A on) aloft, high over my head for all to see. I know who hasnt seen it yet because they have a yellow question mark floating above them. I hear an old mans voice telling me to go into town and talk to the shop keeper about getting the strategy guide. I have three girlfriends, each in different dorm complexes

But I digress, Fable is an amazing game. It seamlessly blends the allure and mystique of an RPG with the chaotic action of a hack-n-slash. But this is no button masher. You must time your moves skillfully, for one wrong turn, THWACK! So long hit multiplier, good by skill points. The game fascinates me; however there are two inherent flaws. The first is that combat can be a little sporadic, especially when you have friends about. When fighting lots of enemies at once, its easy to accidentally hit friendlies who get caught up in the fray. Locking on to one particular enemy at a time helps avert this, but then dealing with multiple targets at once becomes difficult. But this qualm is rather nit-picky, and in the end it doesnt take away from the overall game play.

The second problem is something that really irks me: you age WAY TOO FAST!!! For every skill you level up, you age by 0.7 years. Starting at age eighteen, should you level up ten different skills, you will now be twenty-five. Given all the skills you have, it is safe to say that you will be a haggard old man before you are half way through the game (well, youre not haggard, but you are old). There are ways to reverse the aging process, but you either have to pay a f**k-load of money or make human sacrifices. The money one is easier because I have yet to figure out the stipulations required to make the sacrifice thing work. I would have suggested that they should have slowed the aging process down a bit, so that when you face at the end of the game, you have a few dark hairs left on your head. Other than that, the game is flawless.

But I gotta go now, damn assassins found some way into my room again

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[color=black]"Your toast is burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff!" ~ Caboose, Red vs. Blue[/color]

[WizardoftheWood]

Yes, I played through Eternal Darkness and I would recommend it. The best qualities of this game are the insanity effects. They really do creep you out. I'd have to say my favourite level is in the church during the second world war. It always scares me when you walk into that room with all the bodybags.
One thing that I grew tired of was the spells. I just didn't like having to input the combinations to get them and having to use them all the time. Also revisiting the same locations over and over again in different time periods bored me. I didn't like seeing these places so many times. And the ending could have been better. But if you own a gamecube you can't go wrong with this mature rated game.

[Ogrim_Doomhammer]

will.... wich console is fable for?
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www.pandora.com Find New Music You Like.... Free

[LunaticCrow]

XBOX, it was one of the reasons I was obsessed with the console for a period of time.

Man, Review Psychonauts next.
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[SilentSoul92]

I have that game. I literally jumped out of my seat once in surprise, oh and I thought my brother deleted my file once (the game is scary. I had nightmares all week long) but it's soooo fun.