Charecter Discriptions?

[Fade]

Ever since I learned to introduce characters the way flcladd1ct described, I've rarely used another method. I like it because the focus is on the character's personality, but you can still "see" the character in the minds eye.
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[Orlando_Hamar]

[quote][quote]I like to describe the personality of characters rather than their physical appearance. It means much more to me when my characters actions are what draw the reader in, not what he/she looks like. Don't get me wrong, I do give descriptions, but they're simple and placed into the story in subtle ways. Such as, The main character goes through some dramatic thing and then lets you know what style his hair is in when he runs his fingers through it. Stuff like that. [/quote]

Same. I think personality is the first thing that should always be on the list. Phyiscal later, personality first....Sometimes, however, I skim physical traits completely and just let people guess.[/quote]I'm completely the opposite. I prefer to write about how a person is seen, and let the reader figure out the personality though both that, and the way they speak. Also, the way they are portrayed in the text. It's much more satisfying to work something out via thought, than simply reading it off the page.

Mine isn't for a Fanfic...I hate writing Fanfics. They never keep me compelled long enough. However, there isn't a non-fanfic topic, so I'll have to make do.

Here's a description of an original character who, at the moment will remain nameless (but what kind of writer would I be if I didn't know his name?):
[quote] It was three hours before anyone interesting showed up. And by interesting, that was, anyone special. People who wore fake prints werent special; they were stupid, and Damien made that message loud and clear, nor was it anyone who decided to cut the line. People who did that got the line held up, while they got cut up. No, by special, it was anyone Damien would notice or remember.
That black leather coat was barely a coat. It only covered half of him, coming down from the right of his neck, and ending at the ankles of his left side. The neck was high, and had a zip which rolled for a few inches before being cut off by the curve of the leather. Beneath that was the deep, dark red Kevlar which had been tailored to fit his body; muscle to matter, joint to joint. There was nothing Damien could see under that. The mans right arm, sculpted almost to match his own went free from the armor, not even wearing an armguard.
In the dirty light, the ammo for those two hand-cannons at his sides glistened like gold in the sun.
His features were something else. The pale blond hair was long all over, almost hiding his eyes from view, but not passing far below their cocky blue, ameliorated by the smile that lit up one side of his mouth.
A doorman, huh? He said, cutting the line. Classy job for a big guy like you.[/quote]

Tell me what you think.
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[AmayaHayate]

I have something that seriously bothers me about some writing styles. Lord of the Flies - I know this is supposed to be fore fanfic, but this is an example:
---The story yaks, yaks, yaks, yaks, something about green bushes, or pig heads and glasses - the point is, is it rambled in past tense or over-descriptive paragraphs - and the action was in what? Two paragraphs? I couldn't understand the story for the life of me. I couldn't follow it, and suddenly, the kids were killing each other. Here's better example.

---**Saber watched over his shoulder, keeping wary. In the mean time, he was thinking of what sandwhich would be better on his upset stomach. Meat on rye bread, or just a plain piece of cheese (already, it begins to lose you. Instead, why not actually hear Saber's voice in thought, rather than narration?).
---Now, (this is where it gets me - stuff that doesn't relate, and stuff that wholly ruins suspense of why the character is who he is), Saber didn't have a family. His parents were murdered in the park, but they were out in the middle of the night - he didn't know they wouldn't come back. (This could've been meat in the story - a live-action flashback, opposed to narration)
---Saber, as Kong's wings parachuted overhead, braced to move. He never did like that dragon, that sleek, arrogant beast that breathes stalagmites (is Kong currently breathing stalagmites, or is the paragraph rambling?).**

---See what I mean? Instead, this is what I would write:
**Bracing, Saber's collar billowed as Kong sliced through the atmosphere, grunting. The force nearly knocked him over, a preoccupied gaze on the dirt before shooting his sights on the dragon. '[i]Man, I'm hungry! What the heck did Astro do to make the freakin' monster mad?[i]'
---Kong did a u-turn, blowing stalagmites up from the ground at heartbeats-per-second. The crude fox cussed and dodged a crack split from beneath his feet, Saber's tail stiff. A stalagmite taller than the dragon ripped up in front of him, launching spears of rocks his way...**

I could add the flashback in a whole different chapter, or one that more closely relates to another subject matter in the story. I'm seasoned in writing from errors and learning...and I mention the rambling because that's what the second verson of my story was like, in year 2001. I'm on the fifth version now, and it's so awesome!

[falkonns_flight]

Do you mean write description as in bio, or as in writing the description into the story?

[AmayaHayate]

I mean writing 'experience' descriptions into the story. At first, did you see how I started showing action, then went into narration about Saber's past? I read that in books all the time, and it's sickening. Okay. When I write stories, I'm all action, I use the character's mental voice to describe what narration tries to do, and I use their speech to further make it interesting (a book like a movie). People don't care about the narrator, they like the character and events therein that are CURRENTLY HAPPENING. Even flashbacks are live action-detailed.
-----Things like the 'past experience, past tense' narration can be used as a whole ten chapters, which can be dynamic and full of action and emotion, instead of a few corny paragraphs narrated (these narration paragraphs give away crutial spoilers, thus leading the story to be boring and uninteresting). When you add past tense narration into live action, that's when the story can lose you. It causes me to think that the narration is actually happening, instead of the live action. Then, as a result, I don't know where the action left off before the rambling began. I'm officially lost.
-----When it comes to the immediate physical detailing, it's the same, exact thing. If you want to bore your audience to death, then describe every single article of clothing, every last, single finger on their hand, the number of buckles on their vest, how tall they're down to the centimeter, their hair color, their eye color and its shape - it just ruins the little things in the middle of action, where you could mention the color of his eyes if it's relevent, or maybe his body language.
-----In a type of circumstance that's okay to detail the character in one chunk: if you're doing a scroll along the character to describe a silent moment or dynamic tension (adding maybe the sound of the ocean crashing behind him, or how the wind whips his pant ankles and sleeves). You know how you're watching an anime, and it scrolls from the character's feet, up his body towards his head? Maybe he's folding his arms confidently? That's a scroll-along, and they're really effective if you can write them. Here's an example of a good scroll-along:

Ankles together...the wind powerfully knocking against, standing on a rock tower above the sea. Ocean waves crashed and blew up above the lone-standing figure, whose black decor blended with the sky, a straight stance unwavering. Lean, sturdy legs, a slender set of hips...the angular buckle glimmered sea droplets. Whereas, taut-folded arms struck a confident pose, a dark gaze.
-----His one eye pierced his nemisis, an otherwise unknown expression behind the mask...wild hair a wind-lashed mess...a halo crown tipped...
-----The gun gleamed on his waist, eclipsing the setting midnight sun. Astro laughed, leering.

-----Not only was I able to effectively describe Astro, my character, but I described scenery, action, a mood. And, I didn't go overboard with too much detail.

Just...don't ever clump a huge character profile detail-for-detail in the beginning chapters just to tell about the character, or else you lose your readers.

[falkonns_flight]

Amay's is an EXCELLENT example. If you throw too much description into one clump people tend to lose interest and skip over it or stop reading altogether. I try to avoid that too. Unless that clump is well incorparated into the scene going on around it, or it's got a flair to it that people can't resist reading.

--She smiled down at him from the elevated dais, her ruby red lips pulled taut across a perfect set of snow-white teeth. Flawless pale skin contrasted starkly with the ebon black of her hair. Falling clear of the restrains of the hood, the silken strands fell unbidden into a pair of haunting green eyes that flashed silver when the light hit them. When she reached up to push the hair away from her eyes, her robes fell open enough that he caught glimpse of a perfect form, swathed in scarlet velvet. A waft of her scent drifted across the room to him, the scent of new roses born into a spring rain. It made him feel dizzy.

--Back winging, a creature the size of a small horse landed, and stood tall in all its glory. Where it stepped, color grew back into the land, and the darkness receded. The proud head of a bald eagle, with a great upheld feathery crest, turned its golden gaze upon the villain, its eyes ancient and wise. It mantled its wings, and settled down on its feline haunches, the clawed feet of an eagle sprouted from its forelegs, tearing up the wheat of the field
in the raptors rage.

--The image of his face in the smooth surface startled him, as bloody as it was. He had yellow bruises forming on his arms, slowly darkening to purple, as though a great hand had picked him up and wrung him like a rag. He appeared like a shade of a man, dark and sinister, bloody from a great slaughter.

--Dear god, Locktal, what have you done to yourself? William breathed.
Despite countless moons in the darkness of a cell, Locktals skin still glowed a deep uncommon bronze, yet, the blond hair he had come to know had turned white. Sweat glistened upon his skin, and sharp canines colored the even line of his teeth. A long, dirty beard hid a strong, square jaw and uncommonly high cheekbones of the sort that made women swoon. The lithe, half-nude body was taut and quivering, and there were angry silver runes splayed across his chest, appearing only when the light touched them, and disappearing again when shadows crept back over his skin. There were great scars across his once perfect flesh that had failed to heal properly, and stood as testaments of his rugged past.
Im not sure, actually, he glanced past William, squinting in the torch light. Ask them. They seem to know more about me then I do.
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Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again...as well it should be. If you're not sure it's dead, put a bunch more holes in it, should fix the problem...

[Allester]

I think it's best to put more descripition in later on in a story that way you keep attention and it gives you more time to think about what you can add to it.

[Veilius]

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