A Short Tomb Raider Fanfic

[Orlando_Hamar]

Just something I wrote after completing the recent game (awesome, BTW...if short). Those of you who played it will notice plenty of references to it.
Anyway, if enough people read and enjoy it, I will write more. Honest to [insert deity here].

EDIT: hehe oops: forgot something

- Title: Lara Croft - Tomb Raider: The Orb
- Rating: PG - Violence, Offensive Language, Spoilers to anyone who hasn't played the latest game
- Type: Fanfic
- Category: Videogame
- Genre: Action
- Pairing (if applicable)
- Summary - A memory from what would otherwise be the last moment of Lady Croft.

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[color=silver]You'll get a PS3 for this game...[/color]
[img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y296/Orlando_Hamar/HeavenlySwordSignature.jpg[/img]
[color=darkred]Don't Piss Her Off...[/color]

[theWriter]

Whew. Here I am, critiquer at your service.

Hmmm...Ya know, this one didn't really impress me to the extent of "Dragon"...but it was alright.

My main complaint was that though everyone knows about Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, they still don't really [i]know[/i] her per se. It's more like an aquaintance thing. And though I love the first sentece, a great beginning to tie people in, I can't quite meld much with the following scenes, merely because they go far too fast for my small brain to really keep up with.

There were no grammatical errors that I could see.

My only advice is this: slow down, take some more in-depth describing, both of the action and otherwise. Think of this as "Dragon"--you wrote those incredibly well and with more than enough description. If you incorporate the skills in that in this fanfic it really will come along great.

Well...That's all I gotta say.

Hope it helped.
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[Orlando_Hamar]

Thanks for the critique, Megan. I knew I'd be able to count on you :)

I wrote it in a rush. It's evident, huh? Yeah, I might change some bits, add some in and all the rest. I have a tendancy to not write fanfics, as it's difficult to work to someone else's rules.
_________________
[color=silver]You'll get a PS3 for this game...[/color]
[img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y296/Orlando_Hamar/HeavenlySwordSignature.jpg[/img]
[color=darkred]Don't Piss Her Off...[/color]

[theWriter]

I would agree. It is definetely difficult to write a fanfic. It takes time and some creativity and I don't know why, but I always feel like I'm violating the idea when I write one...which is usually why I don't. I'm writing one now, but I'm trying oh so hard to not stray from what was originally set. If I did, I might start crying.

Well...When you edit it and make it pretty, post up Madame Croft again and I'll critique.

I don't doubt it will be good.
_________________
[color=red][url=http://www.fanart-central.net/user-theWriter.php]What[/url] [url=http://untitledroadway.deviantart.com/] does[/url] [url=http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1015309/] it all[/url] [url=http://www.fictionpress.com/~thetwilightpen] MEAN?[/url][/color]