My One And Only Fanfiction.

theWriter · Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:36 pm Post subject:

The fanfiction is of V for Vendetta. Unfortunetely, I confess I am really in love with that movie.

Not a romance (thank god). This is more of a drama. Basically, what happens to a country after a coup-de-etat? How will one person adapt? How will others? Picture the discovery of the concentration camps after WWII? Good. Now imagine that here. Now.

This is my only fanfiction. I would love critiques. In fact, I strongly believe I need them. This probably would be rated R--but only for future language.

Thank you, and to all a good night.

EDIT!: Well, it WOULD help if I gave a link, wouldn't it?

London Bridge's Falling Down
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Astri · Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 5:05 am Post subject:

I very much liked [u]V for Vendetta [/u]as well, and I read your fanfic (well, obviously, since I'm posting here ^.^) I liked it. My only complaints? One, although I'm sure this is stylistic, I have no idea who "you" are. Who is writing this? Who is speaking? Like I said, I'm sure you did that on purpose, but I still have no idea. Is it Evey? Or somebody different?

Secondly (and this is really nitpicky,) the part near the end. The blackbagged sentence and the one following it. The second sentence ("Before they became one of [i]them[/i]," I believe) makes it sound like the people who were blackbagged became the government. That last little part is somewhat confusing--I had to read it a few times to make sure I wasn't misreading it. You might want to revise that slightly.

But overall? Very interesting. I'd like to see where it goes from here ~.^
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theWriter · Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 1:39 pm Post subject:

Hmmm....I can see your point about the "them" sentence, and I thank you for that. If I get off my lazy butt, I'll fix it.

Though I understand that the establishment of identity in this is rather difficult to descipher, how do you believe I can fix it? I'd love the advice.

Thanks Ian. Smile

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Astri · Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 7:28 pm Post subject:

Well, that kind of depends on who it is who is speaking. If it IS Evey, any spiel connecting her with V, as short as, "I remember the terrorist who changed my life, along with--yet somehow more than--the life of every other person in this city." You know, something to say, "Yes, I am the girl from the movie who possibly knew V better than anybody else who still lives." But if it's not, I suppose it depends on who it actually is...

Who is it? :huh:
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Fayore · Moderator Joined: 12 Mar 2004 Posts: 6195

You'll have to pardon the fact that I haven't read it yet (sorry, not in a reading mood right now... D Smile

but just reading Astri's description about how difficult it is to figure out who the narration is coming from, I feel that I have to mention that I tend to rather like ambiguous narration like that. Part of the fun is reading it and identifying the cues that allow you to figure out who's speaking. :B Is the fiction complete? Because if not, then I don't think it's something to worry about. I prefer the tried-and-true method of dropping clues and leaving the revelations till the end; letting people read until they go, "Oh, that's who it is!" :]

Besides, it doesn't really matter so much as who's speaking, but what they're speaking of. I don't really think it's necessary to know who the person speaking is - what's important is more characterization; if they're a plausible character or not. I like to read characters that feel like they have all the thoughts and emotions that a real person would have, thrust into that setting.

Heh. This is a bit wordy for something that could be considered just a preference or style thing. XD But, yeah. Just had to give my two cents. :0
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Astri · Posted: Wed May 10, 2006 7:54 pm Post subject:

No, that's true. It's just that I'm nosy and like to know everything about everything ^.^ If it is stylistic, then yes, don't change it. I was just pointing out that, were it not, it's virtually impossible to know anything about the narrator. Which kind of leaves me hanging...

Yeesh, what a waste of a post this was ^.^
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theWriter · Posted: Thu May 11, 2006 4:29 am Post subject:

No post is a waste of post, Ian. :)

I understand both of your points now, Fayore and Ian. I will take them into consideration.

As to if the story is finished?

:blink: Nyet. Far, far from it. I'm just starting the third chapter.

Thank you, both of you. Smile

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Merlinhamill · Member Joined: 07 May 2006 Posts: 47

Blast, if only that movie weren't rated R......oh well.

But, replying to the first reply down there, -not knowing who "you" is, is a common writing practice, and hardly a fault, unless, of course, "you" becomes part of the story, which I did not notice. (I have a.d.d. though so it's quite possible I'm just babbling on about nothing and you're absolutely correct). Really though several novelists write their stories in that manner. Not to mention when you reach a certain level of writing skill, it really doesn't matter how you write. Sure, there's a stupid unwritten code of propriety when it comes to writing, but you're the master of your own work, working for the general public, grammar, spelling, a good plot, and errors in the story itself are all that required critiquing. Otherwise, you can't complain about style unless the person was asked to write a certain way by a teacher in high school.
In other words, there's absolutely nothing wrong with adding "I" as long as whoever is "I" remains the narrator. Otherwise, and explanation would be nice. Even without one, however, like you said, it could simply be done on purpose as a stylisticly placed glitch. When you have command over writing, it doesn't really matter. In fact, anything you do with your own story is perfectly fine. It's just that with all the "errors" and what not, fewer people are likely to read, hence the critiquing.....I'm going to stop now......