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Fan Fic Tutorial - Action Description And Beyond!
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n8comics
Has No Life


Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 582

PostPosted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 11:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[u][b]Fan Fiction Tutorial[/b][/u]

Now, I've read quite a substantial ammount of fanfiction out there. Suprisingly, they all suck. Why? It's because kids with little expirience who haven't even passed the fifth grade think they're good enough to post whatever mindless stuff they can think up of on various sites like FAC and FF.net. But I'm not one for negativity, I'm here to help! I'm here to help you write better fanfictions and better stories for the future.

Now, I strongly urge you all to read these tutorials. They'll help you [i][b]a lot[/b][/i]! So, you fledgeling authors, I'm going to teach you what they never did in school.

[u][b]Section I[/b][/u]
[b]The Description[/b]
Ok, first off this is something everyone has trouble with. People just don't seem to comprehend how you're supposed to describe characters, setting etc. without sounding like an idiot or losing the reader's interest. How do you do that? Well I'll tell you...

Description is important to any style of writing, but when you're working in a non-realistic genre like science fiction or fantasy it's crucial to have good description. In a world that no one has ever seen, youthe authormust do better and more to make it come alive for the reader.

When having trouble writing description, try blocking out the scene in very general terms. What are you trying to convey? Is it hot? Is it cold? How many people are there? What kind of floor are your characters standing on? You dont need to get into the really fine details, but your audience is going to want a mental picture. I normally stick to three main characteristics: atmosphere, the general placement of objects or people, and what the main character is doing or what he/she looks like.

[i]The town was bright and bustling; nary a breeze ran through the crowded city streets. The sweltering midday sun was as hot as midsummer, though the seasons still claimed the day as spring. The abundant light flashed and reflected off metal armor and shining trinkets in the various stalls of Travelers Square. A young guard wiped his forehead with the back of his tanned hand at his post in the corner of the Square as he surveyed the ever-changing scene. Merchants bartered and haggled, shouting across the busy cobblestones as they advertised their wares. A few roadside performers practiced their acts, gaining the attention and coin of several passersby with their prowess. Old Alchnet the wizard scowled as he caught the guards stare, and the youth quickly redirected his gaze. He looked down, carefully refastening the cuff on the stiffened jacket of his cobalt uniform.[/i]

Let's recap here...
[u]Atmosphere[/u]: Hot & crowded not a very personal or quiet place.
[u]Placement of objects/people[/u]: There are stalls to either side of the road, backed by merchants, and travelers line the cobblestones.
[u]Main Character[/u]: A young guard on duty, wearing a blue uniform.

Words like [i]sweltering midday sun[/i] give both the time of day and the temperature effective in concisely describing the scene and giving the reader a feel of the heat before the scene has even truly begun. The guards tanned hand shows that this kind of day isnt so unusual Travelers Square is a temperate place. The roadside performers, merchants, and the stalls themselves all add a certain sense of reality, in addition to making the Square seem crowded.

This example would be best used for an introduction to a chapter or story it sets the scene with minute details, but very little action takes place. Scenes like this one are good to introduce new settings, but can be easily overused, making the story long and drawn out.

Consider the movie [i]"The Matrix"[/i] where humans live in a world designed and fed to them by machines: If you're a machine, and your job is to feed different people images of their world, you can't be sloppy at it. If you program "a building" without describing it (is it brick or wood or metal? Is it a skyscraper or a hovel? Are there birds on the roof?), eventually someone is going to look askance at it and say, "Wait. This is fake," and the next thing you know, a revolution starts.

It's just like writing. If your description is too vague or patchy, your readers will stop reading your story. If your description is stilted and wordy, they won't want to read it and shut down the page. If your description is unoriginal and bland, they'll see through all your delicate and varied characters and realize what they have on their hands is one elaborate lie, and not a very good one.

Descriptions dont have to be long in fact, most character descriptions wont be. A sentence or two is enough to give a basic understanding of a character, which can be built upon later in the meantime, the action can continue. (Some character descriptions take place during an action scene already in motion. For quick character descriptions, focus on the most obvious attributes. If the character towers over everyone in the room and has ornate tattoos all across his bald head, dont tell us about his dainty nose. Remember: not everyone is perfect. Some characters should have physical flaws dont forget to describe them.

[i]"Infodumping"[/i] is what happens when you try to tell the reader every little thing about the character or the scene. An infodump is basically the regurgitation of information. When you are describing a person or place, it is not necessary to tell the readers EVERYTHING about it. Return to the Matrix: If a person walks into a room, do you really need to fill in every detail of that room for he or she to believe it? They aren't going to see what's behind closed doors unless they open them, notice the patterns on the rug unless they look at it, a person's height unless they're comparing it to something, etc. Why do the extra work?

On the other hand, if, when you write, all you do is let your characters talk, you may be guilty of [i]withholding information[/i]. When you write, most of you probably have a good mental image of what's happening, what it looks like, who's there, and how they feel. So letting the characters discuss doesn't seem so bad, because you know that the castle is made of blood-red granite and stretches up over the treetops, the elf wears a lavender gown and smells of pine trees, and the space station lights give everyone on it a sickly, green look.

The trouble is, the rest of us can't see what you're seeing...

If a person in your Matrix looks up and instead of the building we mentioned before, there's a big, blank, gray space, they are going to tear off screaming. So while it isn't necessary to tell them every possible thing they might see, it is very necessary to tell them what they should see.

The best way to avoid withholding information or infodumping is to give the story to someone else, someone sympathetic but honest (not your mom, brother, or girlfriend-give it to someone whose opinion you respect and who won't be afraid to tell you if you stink). Ask them to read it and tell you what they have a hard time seeing or even understanding.

The easiest way to describe something is to add a modifier, like an adjective or an adverb. It is also the most dangerous for a variety of reasons.

Modifiers are weak. It's better to use a noun or verb that includes the modifier than to use the adjective/ adverb.
EXAMPLE:
She walked slowly.
She shuffled. She ambled. She paced. She sauntered.
The verbs carry more with them than [i]"walked slowly"[/i] ever could, plus your descriptive passages won't be as cluttered. Keep a Thesaurus close at hand.

Modifiers overload easily. Don't cram too many together. I'm sure everyone has had the experience of reading a story overloaded with adjectives
EXAMPLE: He leaned against the rough, red, hot stone wall and smiled wickedly with his small white teeth.
It's specific, but it's tiresome, and when you read it, you will be very aware that this is someone's writing.

9 times out of 10, invisible modifiers aren't worth it. Words like beautiful, interesting, exciting, nice, and really; don't have much meaning, and they usually slip by without notice.

Pretend you're a machine again: can you program a "nice building" or an "exciting roller coaster"? Think about it for a moment; you really need more (e.g. What's nice about the building-the color? the shape? Why is the roller coaster exciting? Does it loop? Did you throw up?) It's your job to convince the reader something is beautiful/ interesting/ exciting/ etc. Don't cheat them by saying [i]"Believe me, it is."[/i]

The exception here is when you're writing description in a character's voice. If your character is the sort of dumbstruck guy who would say [i]"She was really, really beautiful"[/i] then let him say it, but certainly don't avoid describing this really beautiful woman in greater detail.

Use an adjective as an adjective and an adverb as an adverb. An adverb modifies a verb, an adjective, or another adverb. An adjective modifies a noun or a pronoun.
EXAMPLE:
The moon was dark. (adjective)
He laughed darkly. (adverb)
The tale was darkly humorous. (adverb, adjective)
He moved quick into the night. (WRONG!)

Modifiers are memorable. If you use the word penultimate to describe something, chances are if you try to use it again six pages later, someone will notice.

On the whole, strengthen your use of nouns and verbs before using too many modifiers. This doesn't mean avoid them entirely, but think about each one and use them sparingly.

Okay, pretend you're a machine again. You're walking around as Agent Smith, looking for some ne'er-do-well human in the Museum of Natural History. Unfortunately, your black suit makes you look like a guide and you've forgotten to make yourself invisible. Someone comes up to you and asks what a takin is, and while you could blow him to smithereens, that's twelve fewer volts to go around. You'll have to answer.

You could say,[i] "It's an Asian ungulate, large in size and yellowish in color."[/i]
Or you could say, [i]"It's like a goat if George Lucas had designed it and stuffed it full of ugly, then wrapped it in your grandmother's mildewed bath mat."[/i]

Figures of speech (good ones!) almost force you to picture what the author is describing. Few of you will picture a real takin from the description above, but you'll definitely form an image with the important details: it's ugly, smelly, big and hairy, and not your average animal.

Similes and metaphors are the two main types of figures of speech used in fiction. As any English teacher will tell you, a simile (sim-mah-lee) uses 'like' or 'as' to compare two unrelated objects, while a metaphor implies that two objects are related. A simile is explicit while a metaphor is implicit.

What follows is an example of how to make a good figure of speech (in this case, a simile). Your similes and metaphors should be fresh and original, but also make sense and keep with your story's tone.

Her eyes were blue.

Very straightforward. Let's make it more interesting:

Her eyes were as blue as the sea.

Good! A simile! But a weak one. Blue as the sea has been used so many times it's almost invisible. To help it, make a list of words that can complete as blue as_____.
The sea, steel, the sky, blueberries, peacocks.

When using a figure of speech, you want it to be clever and fresh whenever you can. You can probably pitch the first five things you think of. The words above are not only over-used, they're very generic-the sea, for instance, is many things (few of them applicable to eyes), and not even all that blue. So what are her eyes if their not just blue? Let's say she has sharp, cold blue eyes.

Her eyes were as blue as blue knives.

Wow, that's bad! And why? Because not all knives are blue, and specifying that you mean only the subsection of knives which are blue completely ruins the affect and no one will think about the knife part. Think of something else that's always blue and sharp. That way, your readers won't be confused and won't need extra clarification.

Her eyes were as blue as Smurf's with daggers.

This is absurd. So, Smurfs are always blue and daggers are always sharp-but the simile stands out too much, almost as a joke. The tone of your figures of speech should match your story (Remember we're looking for the tone here too), and while I'm sure there are stories out there that would bloom with this sort of simile, let's assume this one is a little more serious.

Her eyes were blue and sharp as the crack and tumble of glacier ice.

Now that's better. [i]"The crack of glacier ice"[/i] is not only sharp, but evokes the blueness and coldness of the ice.

Technically, it's doing a few things. First, it's making your reader picture this woman. Second, it's pulling double duty; not only are we now aware that her eyes are blue, but the description tells us something about her character. This is one unpleasant lady!

Moreover it's what's referred to as synesthesia, describing one sense with another. Here we're using a sound to evoke an image. If you can do this right, it always looks good. It gets used a lot more in poetry than fiction writing, but it's an excellent tool to borrow.

We're in the Matrix, once more. Today, you're processing appearances for these people. You start by programming hair color, eye color, height and weight. That seems like enough (I mean, they all really look alike don't they? Two arms, two legs, no processor?). Unfortunately, pretty soon, your world is overrun by blue-eyed blondes and brown-eyed brunettes who all look alike. People are screaming and jumping off buildings, and boy, are you in trouble.

It isn't hard for your character description to fall into a rut. What shows up on profiles is very basic (height, weight, eye color etc.) so we tend to assume that these are the important aspects of a person's appearance.

If I told you I have brown hair and blue-eyes, I'm 5'5" and weigh around 120 lb., you could build a very generic image of me, it's true. But if I told you instead I have my grandfather's eyes that turn up at the corners, I'm tall enough to hit my head on the kitchen cabinets every time they get left open, and I think constantly about dying my hair, but instead spray Sun-In Blond on it and hope I'll remember to go out? You'd learn a lot more about me than my police profile, while still building a physical image of me.

What do you pay attention to when you look at people? Do you see the shape of their noses? The size of their mouths? Their arms and legs and how much muscle they have? How did they get to look like that anyway? Hair color, sure, but how do they wear it? Brushed back? With gel? With little butterfly clippies? Does she wear any make-up? Is she wearing Poppy Fields matte lipstick with liner and blush? Is she wearing Dr Pepper Bonne Belle? What kind of clothes does he wear? I know this guy who's a computer scientist. Everyone around him wears t-shirts they got for free and jean shorts and sandals (with or without socks). This guy always wears a clean, untucked button-down shirt with an undershirt and khaki shorts with a belt. He sticks out. Why does he do that? (I have no idea, but if he were my character, I'd have an answer.)

Get into the habit of noticing details about people and what it makes you think about their personality. Freckles make people think of innocence or acting cutesy. Red haired people are assumed to have bad tempers. Blonds are attractive but stupid. Your characters don't have to (and probably shouldn't) conform to these assumptions, but you should know how your readers and even other characters will be inclined to react.

This applies to non-human characters too. What about the alien is so off-putting? What makes the vampire impossible to look away from? What's so enchanting about that elf? It's tempting to get lazy and say things like, "Well, everyone knows what an elf looks like!" or "The vampire's got hypnotic powers!" "The alien looks like all aliens!" When your characters are looking at these creatures, is that all they're seeing? ("Hmm, I can't seem to look away from this odd fellow. I suppose he has hypnotic powers..." or "My what an average elf. He looks just like Legolas...")

Especially in these cases, keep in mind that while there is a tradition associated with these sorts of beings and with fantasy, science fiction, and horror, you shouldn't be bound to it 100%.

And last: add little details about the nonentities that is, the characters who dont particularly have a big part or give more depth to your character by referencing their past. Both give a sense to the reader that this world isnt being created its being viewed. Adjectives are your friend, and details make the story. Not only this, but you can describe a character through his/her actions. The desicions that he/she makes is cruicial to defining your character. Use your imagination!

[b]The Dialogue[/b]
What you want description to do is create the scene for the reader and make them believe it might be real. The reader can't observe the world you're writing in or the characters you've put there, so they may need prodding to imagine in the right direction. Plus, your description has to carry the emotional weight of the characters-you aren't just transcribing. The words you choose need to point your readers to a mood, a tone. What does your character think or feel about her situation?

Many of the steps for good dialogue are similar to those for a good description. Dialogue is a great opportunity to sneak in details about the characters what theyre wearing, their personalities, or their current mood. The tone of a voice, or the action of a character speaking expresses a lot to the reader. In this first example, notice Alchnets temperament hes just been robbed, and he isnt too happy with the guards who are on duty. (Note: the elf mentioned is stationed on a roof nearby, listening to the conversation, unbeknownst to the guards.)

[i]If I may, sir, interjected the second guard, what did the thief look like?

The wizard immediately grumped, Tall. Elven.

Tall, sir? The elf gave a slow smile at the guards questioning tone. Arent elves short, sir?

The wizard hissed in exasperation, then said in a patronizing tone, Most, yes. But this un was tall, sir. The elf almost laughed. No one knew as well as Alchnet how to rankle a guard.

The first guard, Marik, quickly asked, What was his hair like, sir?

Glaring, Alchnet snapped, Silver.[/i]

To indicate Alchnets anger, words used were: [i]grumped[/i], [i]snapped[/i], [i]glaring[/i], and other similar phrases. If you were a happy-go-lucky halfling whod just won a bet, you wouldnt be snapping, now, would you? Also, notice how many times the word said is used: once. Said is boring. It doesnt say anything about the character, what theyre feeling it simply sets the stage for dialogue. No more.

Note, also, that this is another way to describe a character: through dialogue, we now know that this elf is tall, elven, and has silver hair. Not the most poetic way of describing, but, in some cases, it is effective. Be careful not to use this technique often , however having your characters described this way is memorable, and it gets impractical very quickly.

The next example is multi-purpose: it describes the character, gives insight to his personality, and - as an added bonus shows the benefit of dialect. A thief growing up on the streets doesnt have the education of a high-elven noble one of the ways to demonstrate this is through his language.

[i]Yeve got a fertile imagination on ye, taka. Don even try yer dagger. The strangers eyes glinted, and Marik dropped his hand. His captor was a black-haired youth, obviously of Lowertown. At his waist was a belt strapped with at least seven daggers; his left arm boasted a worn leather band with another. Ye look like yeve been ere awhile. Ye should know th rules Unless yere just thick-eaded. The youth let Marik fall, and leaned against the opposite wall of the narrow alley. He took out a dagger and tested its point. Whatre ye doin ere? [/i]

The most important thing to remember when using dialect is not to overdo it. Dropping out half the letters in a word and replacing them with an apostrophe isnt going to sound real. And even in a fantasy story, the reader seldom enjoys a tale that isnt believable. (To an extent, at any rate.) Secondly, make sure the character is consistent in his dialect. If he drops all the hs and never says you, only ye, remember that. Make a note somewhere readers often remember such quirks better than the author. (And they arent going to hesitate to point out an error.)

Notice that certain characters speak different ways. A dwarf has more of a tendency to speak roughly, while an elf might use words such as thee or thy. One of your characters might call everyone mate, while another would be disgusted by such comradie. How much a character speaks also develops their personality. If a seer only speaks once in three pages, while her companions have been conversing the entire time, she might come across as shy, or perhaps wise. (Depending on what she says.) In the same way, someone who always speaks in riddles and rhymes will probably sound a little crazy. It all depends on what you want to convey, but a great deal of personality can fit between the quotation marks.

[b]Action[/b]
Action is fast-paced, not slow like a sunrise. Of course, everyone knows that. But theres always the question on how to get the action RIGHT. Everyones been at this point at sometime, and it can take a long time for people to realize what to do. Once they realize? It seems so obvious that theyre hitting themselves about not seeing it before.

Believe me. Ive been there myself.

Here, balance is the key. Too much description can slow down the action. Still, some is not a bad idea; it helps to form a picture of the scene in the readers mind.

Of course, my first suggestion isnt description its choreography. In a battle scene, the placement of characters can be confusing, and the descriptions of their actions are often lacking. I suggest going over your scene mentally Then getting up and trying it yourself. If youre really dedicated, get a friend or family member to be the other characters. Position them as you imagine the scene, then run through it is it possible? Ill use my own scene as an example:

[i]"Easily parrying her first advance, the youth darted under her defenses, scoring a light blow on the ribs. As he came out, Krishena slammed the hilt of her dagger against his forehead, and he rolled to the side, blood welling in the wound. Unflinching, he got to his feet in a single fluid movement, seemingly unharmed, though blood ran down the contours of his face. Dropping one of his blades as she threw hers, he grabbed the oncoming missile by the base of the blade, its edge cutting into his hand. Reversing the grip, he circled warily, searching for an opening." [/i]

Krishena, the woman, attacked first. The youth, a thief skilled with knives, was able to parry her blow while ducking under her arm and slashing at her ribs. However, he made the attack quickly, since he was defenseless for that short period of time hence, he only scored a light blow. As he ducked back under her arm, Krishena brought down her own dagger on his forehead, and he rolled with the impact. And so on.

And as I keep saying little details make it real. If you dont know much about battles, use your favorite authors for reference R.A Salvatore, in particular, is known for his choreography. Or just try the scene and see how it works. Rolling to the side to avoid a blow or reversing the grip on a dagger are both examples of common battle tactics but its not something a barbarian character would do. Fit the fighting style with the character, and try to logically reason out their actions, even if you dont truly know what they would do.

Remember, not all action scenes have to contain a battle. A Court debate can contain a great deal of excitement, even if the characters arent fighting. Conflict makes action, but conflict can be emotional as well as physical. Even simple games, in some cases, could be considered action. A game of throwing knives, for example, doesnt have to turn violent to be fast paced [i]"tension, not violence, defines action."[/i]

Okay.I will give a series of suggested steps to perfect your writing with. There is an example that was pulled out of thin air, the thing about the example is that the feel of action is non-existent. The example is an exaggeration of what youd normally put in so you can see the differences between the changes more clearly. As I go through the steps, the passage will improve accordingly.

So, are you ready? Here is the example scene:

[i]Janis leapt into the air, clearing the large, granite boulder without touching it with his plain, brown leather boots. He saw a glint of metal out of the corner of his eye and turned to see a huge ugly monstrosity of a troll swinging a large, engraved sword, made by dragons by the looks of it, at the boy. Jumping backwards, Janis avoided the sword and countered with his rapier, its strong, plain blade holding up to the strength of the beast.

Then, the dark figure that he had been trying to catch and slay came into his view, laughing as it readied its bow and aimed a deadly, but fine looking, shaft at Janis. At the same moment, the troll swung its sword. The arrow fortunately only grazed Janiss arm and he dodged the sword, causing it to miss, but only by a couple inches. When the arrow struck, Janis did not avoid it completely, since it grazed his arm. The figure nocked another arrow, but that was when Janis decided to make his move, not wanting to be caught between the trolls sword and the dark figures arrow. The boy leapt.[/i]

Its really boring, isnt it? It would be good, except theres so many aspects that it needs serious help with. Your action section may or may not need as much assistance as what this selection does. You could be further along in the steps that I will give. But even so, I suggest you read each step in order to get more understanding of how to perfect your scenes.

[u]First step[/u]: either dump or spread out the description.
Thats right. If youre all tense and in a battle, do you notice little details? Or would you notice that theyre about to hit you with their sword? I think its the latter. Tons of description will bog down your action. Use more description in more relaxed, lazy times! Ill bring up the sunrise again. With that, if you want to paint an awe-inspiring scene of the sheer beauty and wonder, description is your uttermost friend! But in action, it is your worst enemy.

[i]Janis leapt into the air, and cleared the boulder easily. He saw a glint of metal out of the corner of his eye and turned to see a huge troll swinging a sword straight at the boy. Jumping backwards, Janis avoided the sword and countered with his rapier, its blade holding up to the strength of the beast.

Then, the dark figure that he had been trying to catch and slay came into his view, laughing as it readied its bow and aimed a deadly shaft at Janis. At the same moment, the troll swung its sword. The arrow fortunately only grazed Janiss arm and he dodged the sword, causing it to miss, but only by a couple inches. The figure nocked another arrow, but Janis made his move, knowing he had no other choice. If he didnt, either the arrow or the sword would get him. The boy leapt.[/i]

Better..but still needs serious work.

[u]Second step[/u]: better choice of words!
If the action is quick, use words that imply speed or rapidness! Fast-paced words are crucial in fast-paced action, because without them, there wont be such a rapidness implied when the actions are done. Instead of hit, try strike. Glint flash. Turned whirled. Get it yet?

[i]Janis leapt into the air, clearing the boulder easily. He caught a flash of metal out of the corner of his eye and whirled to see a huge troll swinging a sword straight at the boy. Leaping backwards, Janis avoided the blade, then countered with his rapier, its blade holding up to the strength of the beast.

Then, the dark figure that he had been trying to catch and slay jumped into his view, laughing as it aimed a deadly shaft at Janis. The figure fired, and the troll swung its sword. The arrow fortunately only grazed Janiss arm, and the sword missed by inches. The figure nocked another arrow, but Janis made his move, knowing he had no other choice. If he didnt, either the arrow or the sword would get him. The boy leapt.[/i]

Once again. Better. Notice that I did not change that many words, but yet the change in rapidness is not evident. However, if you keep those slower-paced words the way they are, when you are finished, it will really show how much it affects the mood of your scene. Also, take care not to use the same fast-pace word over.and overand over. That will bog down your work just as much as the slow-paced words.

[u]Third step[/u]: Shorter sentences.
Subject verb sentences are better for action. Theyre faster than other sentences. Like your action should be. Dont believe me? Seems awkward? Then look at the example.

[i]Janis leapt into the air. He cleared the boulder easily. Eyes caught a flash of metal. Janis whirled to see a huge troll swinging a sword straight at the boy. Janis leapt backwards. His rapier countered the sword. Amazingly, the blade held up to the strength of the beast.

The dark figure jumped into view. Janis had been trying to catch and slay it. The boy heard it laughing. He watched as it aimed a deadly shaft at Janis. The figure fired. The troll swung its sword. Though, the arrow only grazed Janiss arm. The sword missed by inches. The figure nocked another arrow. Janis made his move. He knew he had no other choice. If he didnt, either the arrow or the sword would get him. The boy leapt.[/i]

Hows that for comparison? Like it more? I hope so. Think its better but still needs work? Youre right. It does.

[u]Fourth Step[/u]: short paragraphs!!
If theres something you wish to stress, make it into a teeny tiny paragraph of its own, usually one or two sentences. Doing that puts more tension and makes the short sentences work better. Attention is drawn to whatever you put into a small paragraph.

[i]Janis leapt into the air. He cleared the boulder easily. Eyes caught a flash of metal. Janis whirled to see a huge troll swinging a sword straight at the boy.Janis leapt backwards. His rapier countered the sword. Amazingly, the blade held up to the strength of the beast.

The dark figure jumped into view.

Janis had been trying to catch and slay it. The boy heard it laughing. He watched as it aimed a deadly shaft at Janis.

The figure fired.

The troll swung its sword.

Though, the arrow only grazed Janiss arm. The sword missed by inches. The figure nocked another arrow. Janis made his move. He knew he had no other choice. If he didnt, either the arrow or the sword would get him.

The boy leapt.[/i]

The feeling is achieved. Tension is building. You could stop here. But theres still a couple more things that you can do to enhance the action scene even more, if you wish. The rest is more voluntary, but can be helpful. So even if you are satisfied with this, I suggest you keep reading to find out more.

[u]Fifth step[/u]: congruity.
The short sentences dont flow together well yet, because of so much repetition. It could be enhanced by changing the subject-verb pattern in a couple places, but dont do it often, or you may ruin the effect.

[i]Janis leapt into the air. He cleared the boulder easily. Eyes caught a flash of metal. Whirling, Janis saw a huge troll swinging a sword straight at the boy.Janis leapt backwards. His rapier countered the sword. Amazingly, the blade held up to the strength of the beast.

The dark figure jumped into view.

Janis had been trying to catch and slay it. The boy heard it laughing. He watched as it aimed a deadly shaft at Janis.

The figure fired.

The troll swung its sword.

Though, the arrow only grazed Janiss arm. The sword missed by inches. However, the figure nocked another arrow. Janis made his move. He knew he had no other choice. If he didnt, either the arrow or the sword would get him.

The boy leapt.[/i]

It flows a bit better now..and I only changed two sentences. However, theres still something more that can be added.

[u]Last step[/u]: structure and fragments.
Sometimes you can have good wording, but if you change the word order, or make it a sentence fragment you will get the effect more. Yes, it may not be proper English, regrettably, but it can totally change your scene for the better. That is, if you do not overuse it. If you do overuse your fragments, your congruity will be totally ruined and the scene will be stumbled over by your readers.

[i]Janis leapt into the air. Clearing the boulder easily. Eyes caught a flash of metal. Whirling, Janis saw what it was. A huge troll swinging a sword at the boy. Janis leapt backwards. Rapier countered sword. Amazingly, the blade held up to the strength of the beast.

The dark figure jumped into view.

The feared thing. The thing that Janis had been trying to catch. And kill. But it seemed like it would be the other way around. The boy heard it laughing. He watched as it aimed a deadly shaft at Janis.

The figure fired.

The troll swung its sword.

Though, the arrow only grazed Janiss arm. But the figure nocked another arrow. Janis made his move. He knew he had no other choice. If he didnt, either the arrow or the sword would get him.

The boy leapt.[/i]

Better. Much better.

Though this still could be improved, you see! It is a [i]never-ending[/i] process Play around with your scene! Keep changing it until you get exactly the right feel you want. If you get close, save the scene and copy it to another document so that you have a backup if you mess it up. You dont want to loose all your hard work, do you?

If you really want to see this action scene put to its fullest, I've tweaked it enough - adding details and more. This just could be what you end up with:

[i]Janis leapt into the air. He cleared the boulder easily. Eyes caught a flash of metal. Whirling, Janis saw what it was. A huge troll swinging a sword at the boy. Janis leapt backwards. Rapier countered sword. Amazingly, the blade held up to the strength of the beast.

Like a ghost, like a phantom of the night, the dark figure came into view.

The feared thing. The thing that Janis had been trying to catch. And kill. But it seemed like it would be the other way around.

Especially since the boy heard it laughing. Laughing. He watched as it aimed a deadly shaft at Janis, still laughing. But the sound became different. More evil. More deadly. A sound of doom.

The figure fired.

Troll swung its sword.

Janis dodged.

The arrow only grazed Janiss arm. The blade missed by inches. But the figure nocked another arrow. Janis made his move. He knew he had no other choice. If he didnt, either the arrow or the sword would get him.

The boy leapt.[/i]

Compare this to the first example given. See the difference? Try reading them out loud so you can feel the change in atmosphere, tension, and speed.

Do noot to overuse any of the suggestions given. Getting the right feel for your action is a delicate balance. Many times the whole thing will have to be changed, whether being reworded, restructured, re this, re that. But dont get discouraged! Actions scenes are hard to achieve effectively. To make my examples better and easier to understand, I had to change them several times. Its normal. Until you get really comfortable, youll be redoing your scene quite a bit. But the more practice you get, the better you will get.

On a grammatical basis, both dashes and the length of paragraphs are important to the feel of a piece. Dashes bring attention to the second clause of the sentence almost like an extended comma, or a semi-colon. I usually use them to speed up action; two sentences take far longer to read than just one. With a dash the ideas stay linked, but less formally than with a semi-colon or period.

[i]It stuck true, less than a fingers width from the exact center, drawing looks of surprise from the others of the group. The woman was only one who seemed to not notice.

It stuck true, less than a fingers width from the exact center, drawing looks of surprise from the others of the group save the woman. [/i]

Shortened sentence style and fast dialogue also help to spice up a scene, but dont overdo it. If the sentences get too short, the piece sounds choppy and overdramatic.

Description should carry your world out of your mind and onto the page. While good description will always take time and effort, keeping these guidelines in mind may help. As with any aspect of writing, think about what you have on the page. Consider your word choice and let others consider it as well. It will be worth it. In writing good description, you will be setting your readers up in a Matrix of their own, in a lie they want to be told and want to believe in.

[u][b]Section II[/b][/u]
[b]Originality[/b]
Think of all the fantasy authors you really like. The usual number is between 5 and 10. Now think of all the fantasy authors you've read and not liked, or felt neutral about. Big number, isn't it? Okay - now think of all the authors on all the bookshelves of your local bookstore.

That's right. Hundreds and hundreds. And those are just the authors who've 'broken through' to publishing. Self-evidently it takes something really, really special to make your favourite books stick in your mind, doesn't it? There are probably plenty of fantasy stories you've read which you liked at the time, but now can't really remember - because they were pretty much like all the others. They weren't original.

Originality is a challenge in fantasy writing - making familiar themes fresh and unique in their own way. Total, complete originality does not really exist in writing, and any claim to it is somewhat suspect; Tolkien himself (you know the guy, don't you?) drew heavily on Norse and Celtic mythology, just two examples, when he created his Middle-Earth. But the measure of a good fantasy author's skill is their talent for drawing on old ideas and breathing new life into them, letting the reader see them in a new shape. You can't invent dragons, but you can decide what they look like, how they act; whatever you want.

[u]5 (Non-Exhaustive) Points of Originality![/u]

[b]1 - Original Characters[/b]
Characters will make or break your story - no ifs or buts about it. If no-one cares about them, no-one will read about them. They are also the most commonly overlooked way to make your story original.

Appearance is superficial, and not a guarantee of originality. Giving your character spectacularly coloured hair or eyes is generally gimmicky rather than original, particularly if you have no reason for the physical difference besides 'it looks cool' or '(s)he was just born that way'. The same goes for birthmarks and unusual weapons. Try giving your character a pointy nose instead, or a toast-rack chest - just a minor point of difference to distinguish them from the masses without being a gimmick.

All that said, an original personality will do ten times as much good for your character as rainbow-coloured eyes. Avoid the tortured hero, the wicked advisor and the gruff dwarf like the proverbial plague. Do not instantly kill off all the hero's immediate family. And do not, repeat, NOT give an elf a harp unless it is completely unavoidable. Your greatest chance of making a character truly memorable is - you've heard it before! - giving them flaws. This does not mean 'a tendency to push people away'; the rugged loner has been done to death in fantasy. Unless you can reinvent him - give him a sense of humour, or something - don't expect that he'll stick in a reader's mind, because the hordes of other rugged loners certainly haven't!

Some of the best flaws include irresponsibility, apathy, cowardice, stubbornness and a temper. Try a few and see what happens!

Lastly, don't overlook one of your most powerful sources of originality: the villain. Villains who are evil 'just because' will not give your hero anything serious to interact with. Villains who cackle maniacally belong in comic books. And villains with castles tend not to be taken so seriously these days (higher rent and power bills aside). Try giving them good points, loyalties, ambiguities - the reader will feel much more involved in your story if they can vaguely understand the enemy's point of view.

[b]2 - Original Plots[/b]
A beautiful princess is captured by a dragon. She's imprisoned in a tower. A young knight is sent to the tower to rescue her. What comes next?

That's right - the princess falls in love with the dragon and tells the knight to shove off.

Silly, maybe, but you weren't expecting it, were you? The curse of fantasy is that there are precedents for many plotlines, and many plotlines have become predictable from the beginning. An orphaned boy will always seek revenge. An amnesiac will always be royalty. An unusual alignment of the planets will always bring a chance for the end of the world. An army or fortress facing impossible odds will always triumph. You can either deviate from these completely - try writing a story about a family of heroes one day: Mum, Dad and the kids! - or use them to trick your readers by twisting the formula; who'd ever expect the boy with the special birthmark to die, or a prophecy to be wrong, or the usurper of a throne to be a good man? In the same way, don't feel compelled to have a completely happy ending. Fantasy is intrinsically about good versus evil, but that doesn't mean it has to be an unmixed or total victory ...

Consider writing a story that doesn't have implications for the entire world; a kingdom, a town, or even a modest group of individuals is usually enough. Consider having no royalty involved in your story (fun though royalty are). And always think about the road less travelled - you're bound to strike on an interesting, original plot eventually if you sit and think to yourself, "What if? What if? ..."

[b]3 - Original Races and Creatures[/b]
Humans, elves, dwarves and dragons are the darlings of 'high fantasy'. They're such well-trodden ground that it now takes a lot of skill and effort to make them more than a cliche - the archetypes have set very solidly around them. In writing original fantasy, you really have two choices: give the 'famous four' the boot, or roll up your sleeves and make some serious changes.

If you do choose to banish them from your story, make sure you banish them altogether - don't just make a 'new race' of long-lived, forest-loving creatures called Ix'idrans. When you make a new race, don't feel compelled to make them humanoid; lizard-men and cat-men aren't uncommon fare these days. Try some strange spirit-beings, or weird liquid-creatures. Make a nation of non-hostile, non-mindless undead.

If you [i]DON'T[/i] want to lose elves, dwarves and dragons, you don't have to, of course. But you need to do a lot of extra work to make sure that they're not the 'pulp races'. Give the dwarves homes and professions that have nothing to do with mines. Give the dragons society and classes. Make the elves hopeless at magic, and for the love of Something Loveable, get them out of those forests unless they're doing something interesting!

[b]4 - Not Reinventing the Wheel[/b]
Originality is a wonderful thing. Don't feel, however, that your story must bear no resemblance whatsoever to anything else ever written. If you go renaming all your professions - [i]"Mara the Ks'cali played her harp-like ks gently"[/i] ... [i]"Jon the Steel-Bearer smiled at Dor the Iron-Maker"[/i] - you have to be very careful that it doesn't get too confusing. No-one is going to scream 'plagiarism!' at you for using the word 'guardsman' or 'smith'. Rather a lot of us do. On the other hand, if you're not throwing too many random, unexplained names into the pot, and if it adds to the exotic feel of your culture, go for it!

Beware, too, of getting too creative with month/day names and demarkations. [i]"Mara waited two moonturns"[/i] isn't TOO bad, since the reader can guess readily enough what that means (though 'month' is probably still better!), but saying [i]"Mara waited five Castledays"[/i] is completely non-descriptive, and guaranteed to force your reader to flip back through the book OR ignore all references to time. Not good if you're trying to make a point that something's happening quickly/slowly.

The basic rule of thumb is that you should always have a clearly defined reason for making something different. Day names, month names, even season names ... these are all superficial changes, like a character's appearance, and don't really contribute to originality in any substantial way on their own.

[b]5 - Original Extras[/b]
[u]Romance[/u] - Don't feel compelled to pair off all your characters. Maybe some never find 'the one', or permanently nurse a doomed love. Maybe some just aren't romantically inclined!
[u]Death[/u] - Don't necessarily give a character time to gasp out their noble last words. Don't kill them off at random, either. The faithful servant doesn't ALWAYS have to die, and the noble prince doesn't ALWAYS have to live.
[u]Gender[/u] - Ever considered a female weaponsmith, or a male captive of a dragon?
[u]Age[/u] - Ever considered a hero over forty?
[u]World History[/u] - 'In the beginning, the gods created ...' is fine, but why not try making a world that was created by accident?
[u]Languages[/u] - If you have no envisioned grammatical reason for having apostrophes in your fantasy language, DON'T PUT THEM THERE.

The general golden rule of originality: Think outside the square.

[b]Section III[/b]
[b]Villian/Hero Creation[/b]
Destroyers of cities, killers of heroes' fathers/mothers/lovers, terrorisers of little girls with fluffy kittens; villains are unquestionably the axle upon which the wheel of fantasy turns. Without villains, the genre of fantasy simply would not exist - how could you have an epic struggle between the Forces of Good and the Forces of Really Nice? You couldn't, of course. Fantasy needs villains. And that is just one reason why it's so surprising that these (not so) fine men and women are so frequently neglected in the characterisation process.

Let's face it - making a villain is easy. Take one man or one woman (magically gifted), give him/her a Gothic wardrobe and a maniacal laugh, throw in a few armies of undead/goblinoid minions, and pow! One villain, made to order. But will anyone take them seriously? Will anyone think - even for a moment - that perhaps the hero might not come through unscathed? [i]"Wow, maybe THIS guy in the black cloak and skull mask will do better than the last one!"[/i]

Here's another question. Have you ever read a book where you thought the hero was quite dull and flat, but you absolutely adored the villain? Or even a book where you liked them both, but cheered the villain on to the end? The chances are good that you have, because nothing is quite as enjoyable as a well-written, flawed character - particularly in a genre that sometimes suffers from 'perfect protagonists'. We can't identify with perfect people, we can't identify with cackling maniacs in masks (usually), but we tend to recognise 'real' when we see it.

Villains can enrich your fantasy story beautifully, given some careful thought and even a little empathy. If you're not wary, they can even steal the limelight from your heroes. Remember - nice guys finish last!

1. [u]Villains Who Are Always Evil[/u]

These guys are the standard fare of fantasy. They also suffer most heavily from the dreaded [i]'AH-ha-haaah!'[/i] syndrome. In this category we find evil gods, demons and assorted malevolent magic-users, as well as the general 'born to be bad' human(oid) variety.

Due to the difficulty in envisioning a demon's point of view - well, for most of us, anyway - always evil villains are probably the most difficult to characterise. This doesn't mean that they should be abandoned! But instead of turning to the hazy, elemental notion of 'just evil', here are a few different angles you might like to try.

In the humanoid case - ravaging warlords, necromancers, and their ilk - fleshing out a villain can be surprisingly easy. 'The other side' is, after all, entirely dependent upon your perspective. Always go out of your way to find a reason for your villain's behaviour, even if you don't personally condone it. Why is the warlord ravaging the countryside? Perhaps it used to belong to -his- people many years ago, or perhaps the hero's people committed some atrocity in the past, and the warlord has simply fallen into the neverending 'vengeance' trap. Why is the necromancer raising the dead? Perhaps he honestly believes that the world would be better off with dead creatures to serve the living, and refuses to admit that they have escaped his control.

In the case of darker villains - the type who enjoy pain, suffering and destruction - you should still be careful with the 'why?' aspect. Always, always answer the question of motive. No-one is born with the impulse to tear everything to pieces - a lot of terrible things have to happen to them first. What happened to your villain? How? Why? Don't make it into a tragicomic exposition, but don't leave it unanswered. This is the greatest crime of modern fantasy. (I mean, come on... atleast have the evil gods curse him as a baby to become an evil overlord who enjoys people's sorrows or SOMETHING.)

When it comes to the difficult demonic/godly enemy, things are less simple. Demons and gods don't have childhood experiences - though you could perhaps consider an embittered god - and have very elemental, basic personalities by nature. Since you can't give them human feelings per se, why not consider capitalising on their elemental nature? Strip them of all feelings. Make them dedicated to destruction because they are simply a natural force, like fire or lightning. You can't rationally get angry at fire, because fire has no awareness of what it is doing. This kind of villain would still benefit from other, human 'subvillains', but is probably much better than another smirking Demon Prince who wants to destroy the world just because [i]he's so mean[/i].

2. [u]Villains Who 'Turn Good'[/u]

This genre of villain - the bad guy who repents and sees the error of his ways - is a step in the right direction for better characterisation, but can still fall prey to some very unrealistic cliches. There are a lot of things to consider when writing about characters falling into this category, which includes (among others): Switching Sides For Love, Switching Sides Post-Catastrophic Event, and Switching Sides Post-Brainwashing.

The first consideration - as always - is reason. A satisfying reason is a must. [i]"She was so beautiful - I simply couldn't stand to fight against her!"[/i] is not a particularly realistic response for a battle-hardened general. In that kind of situation, the most you could realistically expect would be that the general would spare this mystery woman's life. He would not give up his army and betray his evil liege for a pretty face.

Likewise - [i]"Oh! You saved my precious brother's life! I shall follow you forever,"[/i] doesn't really wash with a general audience. Perhaps the evil enchantress might grant the hero his life and warn her evil minions not to hurt him, but would she really decide to change her entire belief system as a result?

The second consideration, which ties in quite closely with the last point, is the character's degree of 'nastiness' pre-switching. Have you ever reversed your entire life's perspective and motives within a week? Or after one event? Not [i]'I used to value money, then I nearly died, so now I don't'[/i], but [i]'I used to hate everyone, but then someone smiled at me and bought me dinner one day, so now my faith in humanity is restored'[/i]. If someone is a sadistic killer, they are NOT likely to change their perspective in any sudden way. If, on the other hand, they always had lingering doubts about their career as a ravaging bandit king, and then someone actively tries to change them (for an extended period!), it's much more likely.

In short: if someone is truly a vicious monster, they won't switch to being a force for good without several years' extended counselling and repeated viewing of [i]'Amelie'[/i]. A sudden epiphany is not enough.

So what's a good way to turn good? Well, to start with, it always helps to give the villain some redeeming qualities to start with, so the reader knows that he/she isn't utterly devoid of general 'niceness'. Make them merciful towards civilians, or reluctant to kill without some perceived necessity. As for the actual catalyst of switching sides, some satisfying reasons might include (it all depends on -how- it is written, of course, not just which reason is selected) the sorceror who sees a glimpse of what his grand plans will actually do to the world, ie. destroy it, or the royal servant who has been lied to (though care should be taken here not to lapse into stupidity - [i]"my king hangs a lot of severed heads outside his wall and likes to drink blood, but he's usually a decent sort of ... what? He's evil?!"[/i]).

One last note: 'brainwashing' explanations very, very, very rarely ring true. They are very common, usually too glib, and require too much of a sudden character adjustment. Nine times out of ten, you'd be better off choosing a more satisfying explanation.

3. [u]Good Guys Who Turn Bad[/u]

Traitors are one of the rarest kinds of villain in fantasy - quite a sad fact, since they can also be the most fascinating and complex. (This does not include one of fantasy's biggest cliches - the oily, greasy advisor who betrays the king and 'secretly' *cough* covets the princess - because the advisor is not really very good to begin with.) On the whole they are a largely unexplored breed, and experimenting with them will probably produce interesting results for your story.

To begin with, you should make an effort to show their redeeming qualities - don't paint them in a solely negative light that clearly flags them as a future traitor. One of the best possibilities for this kind of character is the 'gasp' factor: [i]"I can't believe she just betrayed them!"[/i] With a little care and effort, you can make readers respect your soon-to-be villain, admire them ... or even, if you really want, like them.

But here, too, you should still keep in mind that all-important question - why? Why would your character decide to make such a dramatic choice and betray his/her own? Like the transition from bad to good, the transition from good to bad should also be an extended and believable one. Does the short-tempered mage get impatient with the 'no killing' ethos that is letting his countrymen die, and start to use his power destructively? Does the proud lieutenant, after failing crucially in a battle, receive a humiliating dressing-down from his abrasive commander, and decide to show his true worth elsewhere?

Make no mistake: whether you paint the villain sympathetically to begin with or not, you should always illustrate their fatal flaw very carefully as well. Character traits should always be constant. Whether their pride, their insecurity, their ambition, their frustration or their foolishness leads them down the wrong path, you should make it obvious at all times.


4. [u]Female Villains[/u]

There are three villainous female archetypes - the evil old hag, the scantily clad enchantress, and the power-mad queen. You know them; everyone does. And that is one of the first problems with female villains: predictability. If you want a good female villain, you have a lot of work ahead of you to make one of these three incarnations believable - or some work in coming up with something else altogether.

Seductresses are a staple of fantasy. There is certainly no denying that particularly in a medievalistic society, sexuality is one of the readiest and most powerful weapons a woman would have at her disposal. But - and this should be a very large 'but' - this does not necessarily mean she should crack on to everything that moves. How seriously is any self-respecting goblinoid servant going to take his mistress if she runs around acting like a horny teenager all the time? The occasional low purring is okay, if there's a good reason for it, but really, she's not going to be terribly fear-inspiring if you overdo it.

Hags can also be problematic. You will immediately evoke images of gingerbread houses and wolves in pajamas if your hag ever screeches or cackles, particularly if it's a gleeful cackle. Everyone knows by now that old women are good with magic, especially the ugly ones, and that they tend to fall into cauldrons and ovens. You don't want your audience thinking about fairytales while you're writing fantasy! Fantasy is serious stuff! Try twisting the hag stereotype a little - ever considered a manipulative old woman who isn't mystically gifted in any way?

On the other hand, you could try branching off into a non-typical feminine field altogether. Create a villainous female advisor! A woman of the military persuasion! And try letting her wear more than her lingerie once in a while!

5. [u]Stupid Villains[/u]

MINION #1: Boss! We caught dis stoopid hero down in der dunjins!
VILLAIN: Ah, excellent, my warty friend. Put him in a cell - I'll deal with him later.

You guessed it - VILLAIN is going to die.

Nothing will kill the tension of a fantasy story more quickly - or raise the blood pressure of a reader - than a stupid villain, but unfortunately, stupid villains are not rare animals. Fantasy is full of villains who want to [i]'deal with him later'[/i], [i]'watch her suffer as her lover dies'[/i], and basically do everything except kill the hero and have it over with. All the characterisation in the world won't help you if your villain is a numbnut. Your readers will simply be frustrated, or amused at best.

There are many, many insults to common sense that cliched villains commit, but they hardly need listing here when cleverer minds have put it better; a wonderful, witty list already exists. Refer to The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord when in doubt, or even when not in doubt. You won't regret it. ;)


6.[u] A Villain's 'Je Ne Sais Quoi'[/u]

No question about it - villains have style. A lot of villains are extremely popular with audiences for the simple reason that they're drop-dead gorgeous. This is also incidentally true of fantasy stories.

Of course you can make a sexy villain, but be careful of falling prey to 'style over substance'. A villain is, first and foremost, a point of conflict for the hero to struggle with. Even if you write a beautiful description for them, if they are a vapid winker or a cape-swisher, your readers will not take them seriously (too busy drooling, perhaps, but it's still not a good thing). They must always have a personality to go with the face.

Here are just a few style cliches you may want to avoid:
[b]*[/b] Velvet-lined capes
[b]*[/b] Skull masks
[b]*[/b] Spiky armour
[b]*[/b] Batskin bikinis
[b]*[/b] Horned helmets
[b]*[/b] Red eyes

Lastly, be wary of villainous laughter, but never underestimate the power of the smirk.




More will be added later on...
[b]*Various passages, examples etc. taken from other sources*[/b]
(Continued on Page 2 due to message limit.)
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Stratadrake
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 2:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Looks good so far. The concept of "proofreading" should be mentioned somewhere near the end too. Not just to eliminate pesky typos and grammar errors, but also to look for mistakes and oversights that weren't visible during the composition. Smile
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n8comics
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If anyone finds any typoes, mistakes or anything of the sort, [i]please[/i] e-mail me them. Or post them here if you don't want to go through the trouble. I really want to help the people who write fanfiction. I'll add more sometime later, but right now I'm all typed-out.
I'll keep you posted with edits and reminders in what's new about the tutorial. If you happen to find this usefull, or not usefull at all, tell me. I'll be sure to fix anything that doesn't work.
Hope this helps.
The end.
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fallenangel
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 7:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote]Freckles make people think of innocence or acting cutesy. Red haired people are assumed to have bad tempers[/quote]

So I'm supposedly innocent with a bad temper....nice.

After reading an impossibly bad story last night, I must add (and you were probably getting to this in an update, but...)

No one cares what you, the author, thinks.

example:
"He looked sexy. No wait, that was me who thought that. Oh who was he kidding, it was him."

1. No one cares what you think about the character in the story
2. "oh who was he kidding"? It's not written in first person. "He" has no idea what you think, let alone "claiming" it was the author of the story's opinion and not his own.

There were many references to the author's opinion, as well as random instances of first person description. If you want to add an author's note at the end of a chapter, fine. But one in the middle of a story completely ruins the effect.

"Her vision blurred and lip trembled as his hand went limp (sorry, had to!!!!!)"

Apologizing for an event completely kills the mood. I hate apologies at all. If you feel you wrote someone so out of character or so far to the good or evil side that you need to be forgiven, fix it instead of hoping your readers understand. If I read a story where Axl Rose (sorry, need an example I understand) is acting like Barney the Purple Dinosaur for no good reason, a "sorry, I didn't want to make him seem too mean!" author's note is not going to make me think it was ok. You can come up with a circumstance for just about anything you want to do. Don't take the lazy way out. Ok, so you want him walking around loving everyone and acting like an angel? Don't just do it; anyone who takes the time to read a fanfic [i]knows[/i] that's not right. Maybe Izzy got tired of his bullshit and slipped something into his drink. Hilarity ensues! It's not that hard to make something believable, even if you want to write them out of traditional character.

And for the love of God keep yourself out of the story. Even if you're writing down your little fantasy, no one wants to know that.

Pet peeve. Anyway, good tutorial.
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ragingflea002
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Also, if there's a ton of the same kind of fan-fics out there and you know it(for instance, Inuyasha fan fics with happy endings), follow Nate's guidelines, do as Fallen said, and for me, use a unique twist. For example:

"As the sword sank into Inuyasha's side, he knew there was no hope for him. With his last moments conscious, he felt the warm blood by his side, and closed his eyes for good."

Unhappy ending. Perfect twist. You have to back it up, however. Make it good. Make it something people would have hated otherwise, if you hadn't given the character due credit for his abilities.

I mean, you have to make it interesting.

Also, try not to say the same word over and over, especially if it's "however".


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LadyoftheDeadlyDance
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 07, 2004 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote]Unhappy ending. Perfect twist. You have to back it up, however. Make it good. Make it something people would have hated otherwise, if you hadn't given the character due credit for his abilities.[/quote]

Problem is, if you do have an unhappy ending, your fans turn rabid and DEMAND a sequel. WTF? Believe me, I killed off two of my original characters, and my fans were about to string me up if I didn't have a sequel. Now I have a triology on my hands.

Also, if you do have a happy ending, it can't be all happy. There needs to be some lasting consequence from the events in the story. Everything can't be perfectly right/normal/better at the end. If things go wrong, it makes it interesting, and leaves room for the reader's imagination.
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n8comics
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 08, 2004 10:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

8/8/04

[b]Edit:[/b] Added sections so updates can be easier followed. [u]Section I[/u] was went over, corrected a few mistakes. [u]Section II[/u] added, along with the Originality guide.
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n8comics
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 08, 2004 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

8/9/04

[b]Edit[/b]: Added section III which goes over Villians/Heros. Fixed some minor things in section II along with updating an extended Action tutorial. Updated from something put together earlier. Tweaked some things in section II. That's all.
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LadyoftheDeadlyDance
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 08, 2004 11:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yay! A section on Villans! ^^ Great job Nate, and thanks!
Don't forget the pyscho villians...they have to be the most fun to work with, in my opinion.
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LightningAurora
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 4:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reading this has really helped, and has given me a lot of ideas. I've been trying to come up with a decent, non-cliche plot for a game fanfic for ages - this has helped me to do so.

On the subject of endings, I think that both entirely good and entirely bad endings don't work. I've read just as many cliche bad endings as cliche good endings, and have come to the conclusion that a mix of the two is best. I know this is very hard to write, but it works well. LadyoftheDeadlyDance has the right idea!

Anyway, Nate, thanks again.
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silver_dreams
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 11:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

O.o jeez, Nate, how long did that take you to type up?

about time someone made a tutorial like this. i just prefer to go through stories and pick out every little detail than make a general guide.

i've gotten to the poitn where i'll be reading a book, or listening to one of those books-on-tape and will be thinking to myself things like 'that word could have been replaced by something else', etc.

O.o i've been editing too much.

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silver_dreams
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 11:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="ragingflea002 (Flea)"]
Unhappy ending. Perfect twist. You have to back it up, however. Make it good. Make it something people would have hated otherwise, if you hadn't given the character due credit for his abilities.

I mean, you have to make it interesting.

Also, try not to say the same word over and over, especially if it's "however". [/quote]
i agree, especially with the repitition of words. damn, if you're gonna describe something, use different words instead of the same thing!

example:

'the skyscraper was big, covered in big windows.'

can be

'the skyscraper was large, covered in huge windows.' (keeping it basic and not going into detail for this to keep it simple Wink)

but about the endings: if you write many fics, it's not a good idea to have them all end with an unhappy ending. for example, if you have a tendancy to write happy endings, write one that sounds like it's going to end happy, but have it end bad; throw the readers off.

^_^
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n8comics
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just a heads up, this tutorial doesn't just limit to fanfictions, it expands into novels. If you're a professional writer, this can be VARY handy. You can even use this to help you think of something original or non-mainstream for those school writing assignments. Don't just limit yourself to fanfiction, this is good help for everyone and everything - poems, novels, fanfics, school work - anything.
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silver_dreams
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i was reading through the story i'm working on, and found a pretty good example of writing description:

[i]'the person typed a message on the computer'[/i]

can be

[i]'Sleek fingers tapped quickly across the black keys of the laptops keyboard, making a rhythmic tapping sound that nearly matched the drum beat of the song that had easily filled the small room.'[/i]

not extreme detail, but still good. ^_^
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fallenangel
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd replace either the "tapped" or "tapping" with something else, but that's just nitpicking. Wink
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n8comics
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[b][u]Section IV[/u]
Government[/b]

(In relation to original fantasy stories, not nesessarilly fanfictions.)

In this section I will be taking you into greater depth of writing. What do I mean? Well, let's see, you've got a good story, great characters, good plot but wait... Your world seems a little bland... Well, how do we solve that? By injecting depth and detail straight into the world. You need a great backdrop for your story. Races, countries, creatures, politians - they all need to be connected somehow, they all need a reason for being there. They all need a reason for their actions. Government, is the backbone of the world's detail. Why does everyone hate the king? Why do the Genishians live underground? Why do the Dwarves live in the mountains in shame? Why do the Tigrans starve? Why are the Pigrats isolated? All these questions are important to your story, all of these are important to make your world imaginative and lively.

Governmental structures are key to many events in novels and short stories. Perhaps the plot involves the assassination of a high ranking official, or palace intrigue. Maybe a princess needs to be rescued, or a tyrant replaced.

In each, the government within the story had to be developed to some extent. The more interaction with officials, complaint of the commoners against, or praise for the government, the more developed it must be.

In some stories the government plays little or no part of the story, but it is there. People move freely across boarders because of open governments, at other times they must go through check points because guards are set to keep people in or out.

Governments also determine whether or not what your character is doing is considered breaking the law. In some places it could be against the law to carry things on a particular day, or wear a particular color because it offends the king for some reason. This does concern the government, but you may not need to get as detailed concerning that world as you would in another story.

Governments can take all kinds of forms depending on the demeanor of the people, and the rulers. On earth we have several types of governments including monarchies, democracy and communism. All of these are systems you could use for your story, or you could create something completely different.

In this section I will be discussing different things that can affect a government and the people in it.

[u]Determining Boundaries[/u]
Fantasy worlds usually have more then one country, or race, and each country/race has its own system. Sometimes the system will not have distinct boarders, as in a world where the elves and humans mingle in areas, but each is ruled by their own king. Some will have distinct boarders with soldiers that guard them. There are other systems that will be made of nomads, or stretch under the ground instead of on top of it. In science fiction, the system may stretch over a planet or a galaxy. Some areas might even be labeled "[i]unexplored[/i]" or "[i]uninhabited[/i]" and everything would be unknown to anyone in that particular story.

Once you have decided how many countries-territories-bands or other groups you have you should write each in a list like this: [list][*]Country Race[*]Adinaca Elves[*]Hegmore Humans[*]Groden Trolls[*]Tribe of Gis human, Nomad[*]Etc. Etc.[/list:u]It would help if you answer these questions about each of these races-territories. [list][*]Do they have permanent settlements? Nomadic? Migratory?[*]What do they hold in highest regard? Religion? Magic? War? Peace? Crops?[*]What is the demeanor of the majority of people? Warlike? Pacifists? Isolationists? Curious?[*]Do they hold one class above another? I.E. warriors greater then priests, mages greater then peasants.[*]Are the common people strong willed? The more strong willed they are, and opposed to the government, the more likely they could over throw it if the new king becomes a tyrant.[*]What are the living conditions like? Are the commoners oppressed? Poor?[*]Are there slaves?[*]Are the nearest neighbors friend or enemy?[*]Is there free trade within the state? Across boarders? Across oceans?[*]How do they feel toward magic? War? Peace? Religion? [*]Who is the most powerful? Priest? Mage? War chief? Politician?[/list:u]Once you have these basic questions about the country you can easily see that some government systems work far better then others for specific areas. For example, a nomad race of humans who live in a desert and distrust magic are not likely to have a Magocrasy. Just the same, a group of powerful mages who have garnered the trust and love of their people are quite likely to be given the rule if they desire it.

[u]How History Effects Government[/u]
In the history of the United States there have been wars, revolutions, and civil strife. If you think about the history of the USA, then change something the whole structure would then change. For instance, if the USA had lost the Revolutionary War then Great Britain would still be in control of it. If the South had won the Civil War then the entire structure of the USA would be changed.

In your own world building think of the history behind the country. If it's a nomadic race that has settled into a fertile area to become farmers then they are likely to have a different system of government then a race that has lived in the same spot in isolation for thousands of years. Likely, their nomadic heart would still be in place, and show in their choice of government.

War plays a great deal in government choice as well. Many wars have resulted in the defeated country becoming slaves, or otherwise considered "inferior" then the victors. In some cases entire races have been, or were attempted to be whipped out. Genocide has resulted in feuds that span centuries, and tyrannical governments bent on, or hinged around the destruction of another people.

Religious upheaval has shaped much of the world in one way or another. The United States was formed when pilgrims left Europe, or in some cases were forced out, seeking freedom of religion as well as fame, glory, and riches. At other times differences in religion have caused wars, witch trials, crusades, inquisitions, and "religious purification." In some places it is illegal to practice some forms of religion. In others it is all right as long as you do not do it in public.

[u]Geography[/u]
Place in the world has much to do with governmental matters. For instance, China started as a dynasty, then when the USSR came into power and spread communism to other countries China was one that received it. In my opinion, proximity to the USSR is one thing that lead to their acceptance of communism.

Nomadic tribes have often been forced to be nomadic because of the land they lived on. Goat herders can not stay in one place too long if the land will not support them. Instead, they drive their herds to new fields were they can find water, grass, and shelter. If their are enemies near they take refuge in the presence of others, or seek refuge in peaceful cities. Any government they have is looser, and some times nonexistent beyond the family structure.

Another geographic item that could determine the government is isolation. If there are high mountains on one side, and oceans on the other, then it is likely that the country would be cut off from most attacks, and trade routes. This would also cause the people to become more introspective of their own country and their own welfare as opposed to a world view. In this global communication age isolation is nearly unheard of except for little tribes in the jungles of the amazon, or in the back woods of some undeveloped areas. These small tribes have kept their ancient governments with witch doctors, tribe elders, and other forms. A medieval kingdom without technological advances would also be less effected by outside demands, and thus would rely solely on what lay inside the kingdom.

Trade routes also play a big part in government. Whether by land or sea, the more influence by people outside the country the more likely the people are to be freer and fight to keep that freedom.

[u]Salt[/u] (Huh!?)
Salt was a major factor in expansion and movement of the worlds people. With salt they could preserve food and take it with them on long journeys. With salt they could live, for the truth of the matter is that without salt you would die. Your body needs salt to live. Many ancient cures involved eating salt. Of course today most people have more salt then they need, but in medieval times salt was worth it's weight in gold in some areas.

Salt is acquired by extraction from brine pits, salt flats, and the sea, depending on technological ability. In some areas elaborate pipe systems were created to bring brine to the surface where it was boiled down. In other areas entire forests were destroyed in the lust for salt.

Governments hoarded salt, taxed it, and used it to fight wars. The more salt they had, the more they could feed their armies, the stronger they were. Often small feuds were fought over the theft of salt mines. Some wars were nearly lost over lack of salt, and some tactics of war involved cutting off supplies of salt and other food.

[u]Availability of Food[/u]
In an area where there is little food those who have the control are able to hold the lives of the people in their hands, thus they have more power, and, depending on their disposition, can be tyrannical or the most loved king.

Drought, famine, the change in fishing grounds, locus, mice, salt... All of these can change the circumstance of a kingdom. If the people are hungry and the government does not provide food for them then it is more likely that the people will revolt. That is why the Roman empire started the first welfare system in which the poor were given bread. It was not because they were concerned about the poor, it was because they knew the power of that many hungry people.

[u]Your Storyline[/u]
Lastly, your storyline does play a part in the government you should choose for your world. If they are not compatible then one or the other is going to have to change.

It is likely that you could start world building and half way through creating a country realize that something doesn't work... your people are too happy under their tyrant, their is too much available food in a drought, there are powerful mages in a society ruled by mage hating bureaucrats. In any of these you could either change something to make them more compatible, or use it as the storyline. For instance if there are powerful mages in a world that does not like magic then they would be in hiding and the bureaucrats would be trying to find them.

Thus we come to your particular storyline. You have the plot all laid out, and you have begun to put down the words, but when you look at the world it seems a bit flat and uninteresting. You realize you have no government in place even though they are going after the very bones of the government to upend it and recreate something they can live with.

Well, first you need to find out what is so horrible about the government that they would want to overthrow it. It could be a little thing like "We are forbidden to wear green" or a bigger thing like the torturing of innocent people.

Then it is necessary to find out what caused these events, this law, or anything else that may effect your story.

It may be necessary to change some things within your world building to adjust to your story, however once you have written one story for that world it is very unwise to change the world building. Expanding, and evolving are great (I.E. one country taking over another, or one species disappearing into the unknown) but if a reader likes your stories and they don't agree with each other even when set in the same world they are not going to be happy and probably will never read anything you write again.

[b]Government Part II[/b]
In the first installment I discussed how governments can effect your story, and how your story can effect your governments as well as some of the other things that might effect it.

In this installment I will be showing you different forms of government, and tell you a little about them. Keep in mind that this is actually a short list, as there are many types of government I probably didn't find and there are many more that are strictly in the science fiction and fantasy books that I did not even scratch the surface of.

Also, it is perfectly acceptable for you to throw away all the definitions, and rules out there and create your own government. In fact I encourage it. Uniqueness and creativity in Science Fiction and Fantasy writing is always encouraged. (Just remember not to make it too complicated and complex, the reader may stop reading in just confusement. The good thing about using existing governments is that people have a good general idea of what it is.)

[u]Sizes of a Government[/u]
Governments must first be broken down into area. Where will the government be effective? Among which people? What are the boarders? Does it go beyond the boarders? Are there smaller governments within a larger system, such as clans being held within the boarders of a democratic nation?

City: It is confined to one city, and the government will often depend on the size of the city, and whether or not the city is part of a larger nation as a whole.

Colony: (See Colony under government types.)

County: Counties usually encompass some area within a state and will preside over several towns. The county is usually responsible only for those issues that are county wide such as transportation, rural water and other items.

Country: Country government will lead the rest of the nations leanings. A democratic country can not have socialistic cities within it (At least not for long). They set the flavor for the way things will run, setting up standards for the entire country as a whole, or for specific areas (such as environmental considerations for different areas of the country, or such as some countries who would tax sperate areas for separate things.)

Empire: Empires span over nations, encompassing not only states and counties, but whole countries within their boarders assimilating all of it to their own prepossess.

National: Any law or standard kept for an entire country. National law can be anything and everything as long as it is nation wide. National law usually sees all people, places, and subjects as equal and under the same law, weather tyrannical or benevolent.

Polity Rule by the people. Every law and decision are put to a vote. This is the truest form of democracy, but only works in a limited fashion over small populations. This is a size of government (a city-state), not a form of government. Polities have been democracies, republics, monarchies, principalities, dual monarchies, plutocracies, and tyrannies

Planet: A planet wide government has been the focus of many stories, mostly to the detriment, sometimes for positive reasons. It seems almost impossible, at least on earth. Any planet wide government would almost have to be split into sections and representatives of some type placed over each section. However, being that planetary government has never been witnessed you could take this beyond simple understanding and create your own rules for it.

Planetary system: For Science Fiction writers governments may extend over whole systems, or galaxies. In such a case it may be wise to define what one groups rules are on inviting, or taking over another group, such as the Star Trek Federation inviting other civilizations to join their Federation of Planets. It may be wise to define the status of those who join, terms and regulations, restrictions and expectations in as much as it effects the story.

Provincial Rule by the provinces (or other territorial breakdown). A provincial government is one in which each village or other unit of area rules itself and there is no central government.

Regional: Region may include any number of considerations, from the region between two mountain ranges that might include several counties and cities, to the whole of a continent, planet, or system. Regional laws and regulations would preside over that specific region, even if that region bisects another county or system.

State: A state is a collection of cities, and areas which is subject to the rule of a bigger entity. A state can be one large city (city state) or it can be an entire planet, depending on the structure. More often it is the label for one part of a country, such as the states in Mexico, or the USA.

Another option is to have a government be designated by species, race, religion or creed. For example, all people of specific religions are bound by certain guidelines or books. Christians have the bible, Islam's the Koran, and others have their own laws and bylines that govern them no matter where they are in the world, or even the universe (beliefs don't stop when you're an astronaut.)

Perhaps elves in your world are governed by some sort of law that goes beyond simple democracy, and something within their blood forces them to return to the origin of their species where they discuss and evaluate their laws together. Such a government would go beyond any boundary or place. It would be embedded in there very physiology.

Or you could have some sort of communication that allowed a people to make their laws, and keep them, via some other vehicle then physical presence. Suppose your race is telepathic, or lives much of it's life locked in dreams. Rules could be made by consensus of morality, and enforced by the banishment from the telepathic bond, or isolation within the communal dream.

Above all be creative, incorporate your own ideas of what your race can and should be. Stretch boundaries and use this list more for filling in then for concrete items.

[u]Types of Governments[/u]
This is a list of many government types, with descriptions of what they are, along with a few examples of how they can be used for good or ill. This list is by no means complete, especially considering we are dealing with fantasy and science fiction, however there is a great deal to start with here, and I encourage you to come up with your own.

Do remember, these are just examples of real or imagined government types, and you are by no means limited to these. Make up your own, give it a name, and make its own rules. Why not Ailurocracy, rule by cats, or Alienopany, rule by aliens. Your names need not even make sense because chances are you won't even have to use it within the context of your story, so be imaginative.

Anarchy: This is simply the lack of government, or the upheaval of it. Everyone has their own agenda, there is no central government, no police, no military. Theoretically it is possible to have such a state and have it peaceful, but in practice it is impossible. Everyone has their own idea of what should happen when and where, and no one can agree on anything, therefore chaos is usually the outcome of such a system.

Aristocracy: Rule by a small group (such as a high council).

Archonships: Ruled by Archons. All I could find about Archonship was that it was used back in ancient Greece.

Autocracy: Rule by a single individual who wields unlimited power. An emperor may rise to power due to hereditary lines, but is referred to as an autocrat rather than a monarch because his power overshadows his bloodline.

Banana Republic: A puppet state that is set up by a corporation to use cheap labor and export cheap goods to another country.

Bureaucracy: Bureaucracies are convoluted government structures filled with many shifts in hierarchy, long lines of red tape, and many organizations within the organizations. Much of the USA government structure is filled with bureaucratic nonsense, but it could be MUCH worse. In some countries there have been groups to regulate things, and groups to regulate those groups, and then groups to regulate those groups until there were so many layers of bureaucracy that no one knew heads or tales of anything. Dictionary.com's definition is perhaps the best: An administrative system in which the need or inclination to follow rigid or complex procedures impedes effective action

Capitalist: In a capitalistic society money flows freely. Free trade is encouraged, and people are allowed to buy and sell as they please, within reason usually. Monopolies can occur in this situation, as can hoarding (as DeBears does with diamonds) and shuffling of resources. In such a society there are usually three classes, the rich, the poor and the middle class. Gulfs between such classes can be small are large depending on how things are regulated if they are regulated at all. Some people are completely against capitalism, others are only against the extreme forms of it.

Caste: Castes have been in use in India and other countries for many generations. It is the separation of social class by distinctions of hereditary rank, profession, or wealth, from those in royalty down to those in the untouchable category. Caste not only defines their government, but their entire life for in some caste societies no one of a different caste can marry someone of a lower caste, and some can not even touch members of other castes.

Clan: Clans are family oriented. It could be a tribe, or other group that is split into specific clans, each with their own head of household who is usually the eldest male who is capable of leading the family, passed on along the generations. Others can be brought in by marriage or adoption, but usually the full blood members are slightly higher in the hierarchy then the others.

Colonialism: Colonies are subject to another lands rules, such as the American colonies were subject to Great Britain before the Revolution, and have as much independence as they are granted. Some of their own governors, their own city councils, and make their own laws and regulations. Almost all have been subject to some sort of taxation that supported the mother land in one form or another, either with goods, gold or money, and sometimes in slaves. Usually colonies are separated from their mother land by oceans, but it is possible for that separation to be because of other countries, deserts or the vast ocean of space. It's even possible that a sea based life form be separated by land.

Colonial Corporation: A colony to the corrupt megacorporations common to cyberpunk

Communist: A system of government in which the state plans and controls the economy and a single, often authoritarian party holds power, claiming to make progress toward a higher social order in which all goods are equally shared by the people. This is the theory, that everyone would share everything, but as yet no one has been able to achieve this goal. Communism is opposed to capitalism in every way, in theory. (See socialism)

Computocracy: Rule by computers or A.I.s, as in Issac Asimov's machines, or the Matrix. Computers could be benevolent or tyrannical as any other species, mostly depending on their programming, or flaws in their programming.

Commonwealth: (see republic)

Confederacy: The persons, bodies, states, or nations united by a league; a confederation. The most well known was the Confederate States of America. This is also defined as a group of people who have unified for unlawful practices, such as a mob family, or in the case of the Confederated States of America who simply wanted to secede from the USA, and thus were breaking the law.

Conformity: (J.K Chalker - Well World series)

Congress: Not so much a government as a way of implementing many forms of government, or even just conferences (Congress of Vienna to settle the remains of Napoleonic France). There are democratic congresses and communist congresses, and so on.

Cooperate Rule: Final authority belongs to a company, either covertly or out right. (Example: Piper's benign)

Democracy: Rule by representatives elected by the population. An abstract form of polity.[list][*]Representative Democracy: In electoral systems, such as in the United States, the people elect representatives who they think align with their own beliefs and these men and women are the ones who cast the votes for us. All laws and regulations are made by these few instead of the mass as a whole.[*]Direct Democracy: This is almost impossible in anything very large, however it may be possible in a completely wired generation where everyone could make their votes via computer, and the computers could tally up every vote. Basically, in a direct democracy every vote counts.[*]Limited Party Democracy:. Here in the USA anyone can run for office if they fulfill certain requirements, but only certain people will have the backing of their particular party. They run for primaries, and those who win are backed by the party to run for president. Many consider the USA limited in party representation because Democrats and Republicans have basically run the show, however there are other parties, they are just very underrepresented. In your own society you could use this as a structure for your government. If it is limited to, say, free and slave, or citizen and non citizen, and the sides were or were not equally represented then that could be considered limited democracy. You could also limit it to certain groups within a country. It can be limited to certain areas within a country. It can be limited to certain sexes, races, ages, or religions within a country.[/list:u]Despotism: This is another form of Tyranny.[list][*]Enlightened Despotism: Basically, when a despot who is in control of an area is enlightened. The monarchs ruled with the purpose of helping and growing their subjects instead of themselves. It is not so much a inference in government system, as it is a difference in purposes and desires of the person governing.[/list:u]Dictatorship: One person ruling the entire country without consideration of anyone else's laws or commands from previous reigns unless he so desired to do so.[list][*]Benevolent Dictator: This is the theoretical perfect form of government, where one all-knowing and all-caring individual would rule the country THE WORLD![/list:u]Empire: In the Roman empire the Caesar ruled over lesser territories who in tern were ruled over by those called kings and queens. Those kings and/or queens were put in place by the emperor, not the people, and only via the family line when the emperor thought it was expedient (as in the case of Herod who had authority over Israel during the time of Jesus birth.)

Fascism: An absolute despotism, in which the ruler has absolute authority. Mussolini was often called a fascist. It is also centered around national or racial superiority. The fascist leader often uses terror and censorship to control his subjects, and enforce his racial views.

Federal: The grouping or union of several states which have a basic over structure, while still keeping some autonomy from the main country. The USA is a perfect example of this, for while the main government has control over certain aspects of the government the lower states are able and often do disagree and even go against the main system at the cost of certain benefits that the main government gives them like tax breaks and money for certain things. Also called a Federation. This could easily apply to a group of planets or colonies as well.

Feudalism: In a feudalistic society the king gives lands to his officials, who redistribute it to lower ranking officials, who finally distribute it to serfs who use the land to produce crops and other wares. The serfs work the land, and pay for the use of the land with the goods and gold they have earned. The king is not so much ruling the subjects as he is ruling the lords, and those who live within his own area, and the lords then rule their areas. Most fantasy stories take place in such a rule, with kings, lords and peasants without really going into great detail of the society. more on feudalism.

Gerontocracy: In many societies it has been costume that a council of elders ruled. Many fiction settings carry this over, especially in elvin societies.

Gynocracy: Another system where women rule.

Hierocracy: Hierocracy is a government either legitimized by the church, such as a king being blessed by the church and only then being recognized as the true ruler, or a high priest who is also king.

Hive Mind: The most noted instance of this is in Star Trek with the Borg. Each drones thoughts are added to the sum of the whole, and the will of the collective is used. This form of mentality has been used with the Borg, and with other life forms such as amebic type creatures and insect colonies. In each there has been one individual who lead the rest as a queen bee leads her colony. Drones had little thought or ambition other then to serve the queen. Even the borg, an absolute collective, had one entity who lead the rest, though this entity was able to shift between bodies when another was destroyed for she truly was "the borg" in every instance. Depending on the disposition of such a creature, or the lack of any emotion at all, this could be an extraordinary creature to use if done right.

Isolationists: Isolationism is not so much a government as it is a way of running some governments. Democracies and socialist nations have been known to be isolationists. It is when a country or society holds themselves away from world events, either by force or pacifism, and do not wish to get involved. The USA was this way during the beginning of both WWI and WWII, only getting involved when they were directly attacked or their people were attacked. Some countries have a standing order of neutrality because of this, hoping that it will keep them away from the majority of the fighting as Switzerland and others do. Military forces in such countries are some times smaller, or non existent. Sometimes boarders are closed, or one way. Other times they are completely open to all trade and tourism but the country will have nothing to do with wars or police situations beyond their boarders. Some countries have used Isolationism to confine and control their own people, and thus keep all power over them.

Magocracy: Rule by the mages. Those capable of wielding magic form an elite group or upper class and control the government. This could be an individual or a council, either the strongest or an elected person. Basically, magocracy could over lap almost any other government with the only requirement being the people in charge wield (or at the very least control) magic, however strong that magic is. Xanth is a very good example of this.

Matriarchy: (rule by mothers, though this is more precisely a cultural system rather than political)

Meritocracy: A system in which a persons advancement depends completely on their achievement. Military is the closest analogy I can come to, in which a person is raised through the ranks because of past successes, or education. Of course, in every society there has been those who sneak through with bribes or shear luck.

Military Junta: In some countries there are big possibilities of military coop's, and when this happens it becomes a Military Junta, in which the military is in charge of the state. These governments are usually very volatile, transitory, and subject to be overthrown by other forces. Some few countries have been in the state of Military Junta for a very long time, passing between one group to the next, or ruled by one group while the other is constantly trying to take over. In any case this type of government can give you a huge area for story telling. Rebels, peasants, or anyone under the boot of the military can be trying to get out from under it, or the military can be trying to push down farther. On the other hand the military could just have over thrown an evil tyrant, and now be trying to keep him down.

Monarchy: Rule by a king or queen.[list][*]Absolute Monarchy: Also called "Absolutism" the monarchy has supreme and absolute authority to do what it wishes. Rule by one individual who attains position because of hereditary lines. The monarchy could also be given along other lines, such as adopted children, or a lottery done by the people every so often.[*]Constitutional Monarchy: In this form of monarchy, the monarch has powers granted to him/her by the country's constitution. An example of this form of monarchy is in Sweden. Here, the monarch can only use powers granted in the country's constitution.[*]Dual Monarchy: two kings at once, also called Sparta.[*]Elected Monarchies: In this situation the queen or king is elected by the people, and given the abilities that the king or queen would have with consideration of which form of monarchy they have. The elected king could simply preside over the military, or over a parliament type situation. Merovingian monarchy and the Anglo-Saxon are examples.[*]Limited Monarchy: is one in which the royalty have only ceremonial powers.[/list:u]Ochlocracy: Rule by organized crime. Usually several factions or cartels rise to power and balance each other through conflict and cooperation. This could be out in the open, or it could be underground such as it was in the USA during prohibition. Even the leading government can get involved in the underground, dealing with them in different ways, using them for information, or simply in a war against them.

Oligarchy: Rule by a small group wielding virtually unlimited power for evil or selfish goals. Oligarchy and plutocracy often overlap. This could include such things as a small group of elves ruling over all other races (such as in "Elvenbane"), or one class of people ruling over all others.

Parliamentarians: Much like a congress. They are a group of people who make the laws of the nation. England is the most famous.

Patriarchy: This is more precisely a society structure then it is a government. It has been practiced in most societies ever since the dawn of time. It means that men are in charge, and usually women are denied any rights in government. In the past women have been denied the ability to vote or run for offices, and still are in some areas. The men lead the wars, and provide the governments. This can be because the men feel women are to be respected and kept safe for their ability to create children, it could be because they feel women are beneath them and unworthy of this position, or somewhere in between. Many men over time have gotten the idea that women were incapable of leadership, or did not desire it. It has also happened that some men who did not want leadership were forced into it when a perfectly willing woman was there simply because of the idea that it was the mans business. (see also Phallocracy or Androcracy)

Plutocracy: Rule by the wealthy. The upper classes completely control all laws and government positions. In such a society it is more likely that the gap between the wealthy and poor be very wide, and there be no middle class at all.

Phallocracy or Androcracy: Rule by men, see Patriarchy

Puppet State: This could happen in any form of government for many reasons. A puppet state occurs when someone is put in charge and then someone else runs the country from behind the scenes. Monarchies have been used for this most often in literature, but there has been at least one case that could be termed a "puppet state" in the USA, and that is when one president fell ill and was unable to perform his duties and his wife did them instead, while giving him all the credit. Puppet states are not always ill willed, it can be from necessity. Other times it is because one person wants control and can't get it any other way. A puppet state could also happen when one country rules another by controlling the figure head they have put in place, or subverted. Conspiracy theorists assume that officials are elected to positions and then a secret sect, or government agency pushes that official in the way they want them to go, and assassinate them when they don't do as they are told. I even remember one instance where the person wanted a puppet state so that they could get all the benefits of being king, without all the problems. Puppet states are very common in fiction, so I'd advice finding some unique way of using it if you plan on doing so.

Republic: Republics are about equality and freedom. In a republic a citizen is able to vote for representatives who then lead the government. Republics can then be lead by several methods, including councils, presidencies, or other governments. It is also called a commonwealth.

Socialism: "Any of various theories or systems of social organization in which the means of producing and distributing goods is owned collectively or by a centralized government that often plans and controls the economy", or so dictionary.com says. Socialist states try to make everyone equal by force, and have ended up, in some cases, having a nation of scared poor people. Progress is limited and ambition has little gain.

Syndicracy: rule by syndics or syndication's. That is, it is a government ruled merchants as in the Hanseatic League. These merchants can be simply interested in free trade, or they could be interested in monopolizing trade or become gangster like in purpose.

Totalitarian: A totalitarian government seizes all control over every aspect of life within the boarders of the country. You are told what you can and can not do, where you can go, what job you can have, where you can live, and even maybe what you can wear. "A totalitarian regime crushes all autonomous institutions in its drive to seize the human soul" (Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.).

Theocracy: Dictionary.com describes this as a "Government of a state by the immediate direction or administration of God; hence, the exercise of political authority by priests as representing the Deity." While a Hierocracy is ruled by the church sometimes behind the scenes, in a Theocracy the priests are truly in charge.

Tribal: A tribe is often a gathering of a people who live travel together, like those who were gathered around their herds in the Middle East, or in Native American cultures, traveling where ever they could find food and shelter for their herds and families. While clans are designated by family, tribes are a bit looser and defined more by culture, as the Native American tribes were split between different areas, ways of life, and how they passed their ways onto the next generation. Often tribes live in tents or other easily moved or constructed homes such as huts. Some follow the migration of animals, as some Native Americans followed the buffalo. Others migrated because of weather conditions, having summer and winter camps. Tribes often have one chief passed down through a blood line, and sometimes a council of elders who advice the chief. Some have warlord type systems. (see warlordship)

Tyranny: The absolute power of one person over all. This is usually used to describe a cruel dictator, someone who uses and abuses his authority for his own gain. Torture and military might were not uncommon in tyrannical governments.

Warlordships: A country, or civilization ruled by a war lord. Basically it is a general who rules over a people, weather with an iron fist or with a delicate hand. Either way, he is in complete control of the army, and uses it.


[u]Stability[/u]
Lastly, the stability of the nation should be considered. The government hinges on a few things, like the mentality of the people, the strength of their numbers, their fear or happiness, the ideals of the nation, and even the natural desires for life and liberty.

Stability will affect your plot more then any other thing about government. Decide how stable each government is, and why they are or are not stable, and add this to your notes on each country. This will help you in creating conflict for your characters.

Very Unstable: Small shifts in power are frequent (such as assassinations, coops, mergers, bankruptcy, and devolving of different areas) and the likelihood of the government collapsing or being overthrown is high. Such a government may have tenuous hold on the military or may be using it to strike fear into the people to keep them in line, however the hatred of the people could be such that no military could stop it eventually. The population is usually kept in line with threats and martial law. It is most likely that the military and officials are corrupt and keeping things in order depends on keeping them in line as well.

Unstable: An unstable government usually involves conflict between internal groups, or sub groups and may involve a population that dislikes the ruling class, or specific factions within the city and government and/or a military which occasionally resists government authority. It could also be caused by severe economic troubles and a government who has overspent it's limits. Such a government faces hard times ahead and there is a good chance that there will be changes in the politics of the nation some time in the next 10 years, either by force, uprising, or some peaceful measure.

Stable: This is the "average" among the nations. A stable government is one which has firm handle on the military and grudging respect from the people, even if they do bemoan their taxes or some laws. It is likely that this government will stand unless something occurs to upset the balance, either from outside or within the civilization.

Very Stable: The government is rock solid and is built upon traditions and rituals that have last for many generations. It is highly unlikely that such a government will undergo any significant change as long as things are upheld. Such governments are usually strong and have full support of the military and the people.

Remember that economies can also effect stability. A starving nation will not support a good king anymore then a healthy nation will support a corrupt official. It is actually more likely that a starving nation will allow a tyrannical leader to stay out of fear.








More will be added later on...
[b]*Various passages, examples etc. taken from other sources*[/b]
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silver_dreams
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

awesome ^_^

You rule, Nate ^_______^ no one but you would take the time to type out all of that.
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LadyoftheDeadlyDance
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nate is the KING! ^0^ Go Nate!
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n8comics
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[b]8/18/04[/b]

I haven't added anything in quite some time, so I decided to put together a small section on Government. It didn't come out like I wanted, it kind of sounds more like a Social Studies lesson rather than a writing lesson. But I did my best.

Anyway, Section IV was added on the second page, unfortunately there's a message limit on how long each message can be. Section IV covers government, what kinds there are and why they're important. It also covers what you should do next after you're ready to write. What you should do to make your world more lively and detailed.

In the future I may post a .doc or .txt (I use Notepad/.txt since it's easier to use if you incororate HTML) of the entire Fan Fiction Tutorial. I'm thinking of adding one or two more sections to the Fan Fiction Tutorial, maybe more if I have time, anyway I'm going back to Washington now, I'll see ya all tonight! Maybe!
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silver_dreams
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="LadyoftheDeadlyDance (LDD)"] Nate is the KING! ^0^ Go Nate! [/quote]
Nate should get an award for all of this... ^_^
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