Before I make a complete fool of myself...

[luckycloverluck]

-now void-
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"

[London]

Neck too thick. Take a look at some photos of collarbones. Fingers don't start at the same.. distance away from the wrist. Especially the thumb, which should be a lot farther down. Palm is also too short. Index finger should not be longer than middle finger. Finger joints can be somewhat wrinkly, but usually knuckles aren't. Your folds are random and nonsensical.

Nobody's going to steal that.

It would be easier to critique if you didn't cut off so much of the picture.
_________________
[i][size=9]Go Yankees![/size][/i]

[luckycloverluck]

[quote="London"]
Nobody's going to steal that.

It would be easier to critique if you didn't cut off so much of the picture.[/quote]

Well, you never know; there might be some desperate art thief out there who'll grab it and say, "OMG!! LUK WAT I MAYD!!!!1"

Now, off to fix this. Sorry about cutting off so much; I wanted it to focus in on that area.
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"

[spiritedchaos]

I can do you some redlines if you want - thing is I'm not to sure from the cropped picture you've posted whether it's face-on or 3/4s view...

[luckycloverluck]

[quote="spiritedchaos"]I can do you some redlines if you want - thing is I'm not to sure from the cropped picture you've posted whether it's face-on or 3/4s view...[/quote]

3/4s. Sorry about that.

And it would be very much appreciated.
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"

[luckycloverluck]

-now void-
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"

[spiritedchaos]

Okay, here we go:

[img]http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y262/spiritedchaos/new.jpg[/img]

London's covered mostly everything - the neck was rather thick so I've slimmed it a little. You also need to watch the join from neck to the shoulder; it doesn't switch immediatly from the vertical of the neck to the horizontal of the shoulder, instead there's more of a gentle slant (take a look in the mirror and see). Drawing-wise the way you've drawn the side of the neck extending down into the torso doesn't quite sit right, there's no real hard lines there, it's the sort of thing that you can define later when you colour rather than in the line art.

The neckline of the robe/shirt/dress is nice, you just need to remember to draw the fold lines following the shape of the fabric. Moving down to the rest of the material, folds tend to lie close together when the material is bunched and move further away as the fabric relaxes. Nice long lines tend to look better for folds, short ones can make the material look like a creased up t-shirt or something.

Hand-wise, again London's covered it all - the main palm of the hand should be bigger which is the main thing (the palm should be similar in length to the fingers).

Over all though, not bad at all - I'm sure it'll look great when it's finished, you've got some great colouring going on in your gallery .

[spiritedchaos]

Oh, and with regards to the watermark - I know it's nice to mark your work indelibly as yours but such a large mark spoils the picture somewhat - how about simply signing it with a small signature, but over a part of the picture where it's difficult to remove?

[London]

[img]http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/5958/redlineng4.png[/img]

Fingers were too lengthy and thumb still a tad high.


Is this person male or female?
_________________
[i][size=9]Go Yankees![/size][/i]

[luckycloverluck]

[quote="spiritedchaos"]Oh, and with regards to the watermark - I know it's nice to mark your work indelibly as yours but such a large mark spoils the picture somewhat - how about simply signing it with a small signature, but over a part of the picture where it's difficult to remove?[/quote]

Good idea. I'll use that from now on.

@London: Female.
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"

[luckycloverluck]

now void
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"

[London]

This picture might look familiar.

[img]http://img100.imageshack.us/img100/5958/redlineng4.png[/img]

Same problems with the finger length/position. The lines I stuck onto spiritedchaos's edit around the neck area were supposed to replace those, not add to them.


Also, you don't seem to know how to do pixel art, so why bother to draw in MS paint? Just download some free, more advanced software like GIMP or OpenCanvas or just use a pencil and paper. Your current lines are rigid and unattractive.
_________________
[i][size=9]Go Yankees![/size][/i]

[luckycloverluck]

[quote="London"]
Also, you don't seem to know how to do pixel art, so why bother to draw in MS paint? Just download some free, more advanced software like GIMP or OpenCanvas or just use a pencil and paper. Your current lines are rigid and unattractive.[/quote]

I use Paint.NET, Artweaver and a mouse. No scanner currently.

So I should try GIMP?
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"

[luckycloverluck]

-now void-
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"

[spiritedchaos]

[quote]Better...? [/quote]

Yep, you've done a good job there .

One thing you might want to look into (not for this one, just for next time) is the weighting of your lines; if you put some thought into where you use heavy, dark lines, where you use lighter ones and where you thicken the lines you draw you can get some really effective looking lineart as it allows you to start to define things to be diffent distances away and start to show where the shadows fall. (That may have not made any sense so I'll point you to this lineart tutorial which does: [url]http://aramaki.deviantart.com/art/aramaki-s-inking-tutorial-8823763[/url])

GIMP is open-source so it's free (always a good thing) so it's worth downloading just to give it a go. It's got loads (possibly even an overwhelming) amount of tools and functions but if your prepered to spend some time playing around with it you can get some really goodlooking stuff: smooth lines, different colouring effects...

[luckycloverluck]

[quote="spiritedchaos"]
One thing you might want to look into (not for this one, just for next time) is the weighting of your lines; if you put some thought into where you use heavy, dark lines, where you use lighter ones and where you thicken the lines you draw you can get some really effective looking lineart as it allows you to start to define things to be diffent distances away and start to show where the shadows fall. (That may have not made any sense so I'll point you to this lineart tutorial which does: [url]http://aramaki.deviantart.com/art/aramaki-s-inking-tutorial-8823763[/url])
[/quote]

I tried so hard to do that. >.<

Ah well, I've bookmarked the inking tut for later. Thanks!

Now, onto finishing the piece. I deem this thing CLOSED FOR CRITS!
_________________
It is the artist, not the fandom, that makes the picture worth it.

If you feel that the fandom is worthless, then fighting the urge to pass judgement on a picture based on that fandom is a rather good idea.

That is, of course, unless you want the fangirls/fanboys coming after you with foaming mouths.
+++++++++++++++++++
"Thy pen is mightier then thy sword."
"But Miss Lefae!"
"THOU SHALT NOT FORGETETH THAT, PUNKETH!!"