your opinion please on my poem

[oshaunjc123]

just wonderin if yall could tell me what you think of this, i wrote this my senior year in high school and i would love some feedback

TRUTH IS A KNIFE


Music is fuel foir the mind
It relieves us of a world where terror reigns
Only to take us to a dark place
Where shadows and demons prey on the weak
A place where sinners suffer until Final Judgement
Music is fuel for the soul
Making us happy
Until the wall of lies comes crashing down upon us
And the cold touch of the real world hits us like a freight train
Revealing the flaws of humanity
Greed, power, jealousy, anger, hatred
Music is fuel for the body
It makes us dance until sunrise or until the music stops playing
Or bleed to feel the sharp sting of a cold reality
Invokes feelings of anger, making you feel like
You want to lash out at someone
Music is fuel for the heart
It invokes feelings of loneliness and pain
The sense that noone notices you
Power of provoking feelings of love
Making you want to proclaim your love about someone
To the world and beyond
Music is not for the faint hearted
Those who are careless don’t realize
That if they aren’t careful
They may be found in the crosshairs
Staring down the barrel at their headstone
Realizing that their final moments are here before they knew what happened
Music is for people who understand
Who know the limits and boundaries of their short mortality
Who have dared challenge their faiths and beliefs
Who have pushed themselves to the brink of destruction
Those who know what it is to lose someone dear to them
I see this happening every day
Catching on like a virus, spreading like wildfire
It gets worse every day
It will be the end of us in the end
Music is for the bleeding hearts of men
Who have been shunned by others
Those who know the true meaning of loneliness
The men who have been cut down or disgraced in life
For the brave men who have memories
Memories of their comrades who died
Died fighting for the very country that abandoned them in Vietnam
Memories of their friends and brothers dying on the war torn fields of desolation
And who are stil dying even after the war was one
I have seen this
Soldiers left to die in untamed jungles
Due to the incompetence and reluctance of Uncle Sam
Dying without justice or forgiveness
Dying without a cause
Dying without a purpose
Music is for the lonely
Who everyday wake up feeling useless and alone in the world
Those who think that their only purpose in life is to fill the void
Music is for the angry
You who use this weapon
To lash out at the foolishness of our government
And all of their intelligence agencies
I see this every day
The news only brings nothing but bad news every day
Soldiers dying every day in Iraq with no solice in their voices
This is the world we live in
A world where honor and justice no longer matter in war
A world where only money and power matter anymore
Truth is a knife because the truth hurts, it hurts bad
We create colorful and vibrant art to get our minds off the death and destruction
We do this to escape,
Escape from this Hell we call home
Art is violent
Truth is a knife
Together results in a violent but truthful piece of work
Art is violent
Art is beautiful
Art is war….there will be casualties




LocustSword

[sleepingdragon]

I think you should have mentioned truth somewhere in the begining of the poem. It started off sounding like it was all about music. Other than that it was really great. It got you thinking. Keep up the good work.
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[img]http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk242/DOCAHAP/Dragonseye.jpg[/img] Never wake a sleeping dragon...