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artcannon Newb
Joined: 25 Mar 2009 Posts: 6
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 5:09 am Post subject: What if I told you a story about death and......... |
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The future,the past,present and about life.
what if I told you a story that would trap you're mind. what if, Just what if i told you a story that will make you cry.This is a story that will change your look on life.
[size=18][/size]It's coming soon to FAC
artcannon |
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London Moderator
Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Posts: 6474
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 9:24 am Post subject: |
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Spaces belong after commas and periods. You don't need the second "about" in your first sentence, which is actually a fragment that doesn't fit in properly with the title of the thread. It should also end in a question mark. You also seem to have difficulties with correct capitalization, and it should be "your mind," not "you're mind." Punctuate. _________________ [i][size=9]Go Yankees![/size][/i] |
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artcannon Newb
Joined: 25 Mar 2009 Posts: 6
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Posted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 10:07 am Post subject: I had no time what.... |
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So ever to do this I am on my brothers pc.
I haven't had time to correct. I don't even have a rough draff.
So please just stay with the story and enjoy... thanks
artcannon
p.s
I know how to write. I'm in college at the time. Thanks anyway. |
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