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An Orc's adventure
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liggybird
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 21, 2009 4:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As elegant as the Caesar's Palace hotel was, Ethyl wasn't looking forward to the prospect of spending any more time than necessary with Piper and her sisters.

She needn't have worried.

As soon as the women set eyes on the elegantly dressed (and very eligible) gentlemen surrounding the many roulette wheels and card tables, it became obvious that the three of them had their own agenda - and that agenda didn't have any room for either Ethyl or Rodrick.

The afternoon of their second day at the hotel found Ethyl and Rodrick alone by the swimming pool.

"It's boring here when you've no money." Rodrick grunted as he sipped on another pina collada provided at the hotel manager's expense. "And did you see the way those three were flaunting themselves in the casino last night?"

"Yeh." Ethyl agreed. "They were like gold diggers prospecting for gold in there."

"Yeh. They practically had dollar signs in their eyes." added Rodrick. (It hadn't taken the Orc long to learn the value of the United States dollar.)

"You said it Roddy." Ethyl stood up from the lounger she'd been lying on.

Rodrick watched her from the poolside chair he was seated on next to Ethyl's lounger. His eyes took in her trim figure before they met hers.

"What say we check out of here and head for the coast?" Ethyl continued.

"Definitely!" confirmed Rodrick, "I'd rather swim in the sea than in a boring old hotel swimming pool anyday."

He threw Ethyl an orc wink before continuing.

"And when it comes to adventuring ... two's company ... five's a friggin' freak show!"

Ethyl's jaw dropped at hearing Rodrick use such language.

"What?" he said (with feigned surprise).
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ShadowMagic
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Your leaving?" Joyce stopped Rodrick and Ethyl as they left their hotel room. Their newly purchased bags in hand, a kind gesture from Peter the manager, who wanted Rodrick packed and off the premises as soon as possible.

"Yeah. It has been real fun, but we decided to header out and hit the trail." Ethyl held out her hand in good bye. "It was a pleaser to have met you and your sisters." Ethyl smiled, but half meant it.

Joyce ignored the hand shake and gave her a hug. "Forget the formal crap, if you ever change your mind you can always come and hang out with us anytime."

"Not that we don't want to, it just that we have a lot of travelling to do." Ethyl gave a weak smile and squirmed out of the hug.

"Well I hope you and your boyfriend have a safe trip." Joyce winked.

"He's not my b.." Ethyl was cut off again.

"Come on Carlos, we have a lunch date to get to." Joyce pulled a richly dress gentleman by the arm, who was bug eyed scared and speechless in Orc's presents.

As Joyce and her date walked away Rodrick gave Ethyl a sly grin.

"Not a word." Ethyl glared at him. "Let's just leave before we run it to Piper and Tiffany."

"Yes Dear." Rodrick teased.

"Cut it out!"
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liggybird
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I want to ask if you'll help me out with the hotel's publicity shoot before you leave."

It was Peter, the manager of Caesar's Palace. Ethyl and Rodrick were at the checkout with their bags.

"This is the first time we've had an Orc and his lady friend stay here. We'd like to record the event for posterity."

"Don't you start!" Ethyl huffed. "For the umpteenth time, I'm not his 'lady friend'."

Rodrick said nothing. (He just whistled nonchalantly and pretended he hadn't heard what Peter had said.)

"OK. OK. Whatever." Peter continued nervously. "It would be just a matter of letting our photographer take a few pictures of the two of you."

Ethyl had calmed down. Even so the idea of being photographed still didn't strike her as all that interesting.

Peter could see he needed to make his offer more exciting. He decided to play what he hoped would be a trump card.

"It just so happens that the hot air balloon we've hired for our latest publicity stunt is about to set off. That's it just outside the hotel."

He pointed towards the glass doors. An enormous, brightly coloured, pear shaped balloon could be seen standing in the field situated on the far side of the road.

"What we'd like, is to film you two wonderful people taking a complimentary flight in that balloon all the way from here over to the Grand Canyon and beyond."

Ethyl was open mouthed. The manager continued.

"What do you say?"

"A HOT AIR BALLOON! THE GRAND CANYON! WHOOPEE!" Ethyl squealed.

Rodrick suddenly found himself recoiling with Ethyl's arms around his neck.

"I think I can take that as a 'yes'." smiled the manager.
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ShadowMagic
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

With an escort Rodrick and Ethyl were led back behind the hotel were a brightly colored hot air balloon stood ready for take off. The balloon colored in black and red stripes was piloted by a really old man with thick owl glasses. Obviously in his late 80's he sat in a folding lawn chair in the balloon's basket, a blanket across his lap and a large cooler sat next to him.

"Mr. Lasol, this everything ready to go?" Peter yelled out to the old man.

"Been ready for the past two hours, and quit your yelling, I am not def yet." Mr. Lasol snapped back. "Now where is the young whipper-snapper I am support to transport?"

"There has been a change in plans. You will be taking Miss. Grey and....Rodrick with you.."

"What?! You rich good for nothing youn'n always telling me at the last bloody moment ......Get in, your killin' day light." Mr. Lasol beckoned Ethyl and Rodrick before he said anything he would regret to Peter.

Ethyl instantly jumped in, secretly hiding her child like smile. Rodrick lumbered over the side of the basket, suitcases in hand and sat down on the basket floor.

"All body parts inside the air craft or we'll leave them behind." Mr. Lasol said in a half joking, half serious tone. With that the old man pulled on the extended rope, so he didn't have to get up out of his seat, and the trio slowly lifted into the air.

"This is unnatural. We are going to put our life in the hands of a flouting balloon and a old man." Rodrick inspected the air craft.

"Mr. Lasol..." Ethyl began but was cut off yet again.

"The name is Willie, Miss. Grey." the old man put in, seeming to relax a bit.

"Its Ethyl."

"Ethyl, dear, may I ask what the HELL is wrong with that man's skin?" Willie squinted his eyes to take a closer look at Rodrick. "Are you addicted to tattoo's sonny? Cause I can't make out what the picture is suppose to be."

Ethyl broke out laughing. "Rodrick is a Orc, his skin is naturally green."

"Now I have seen everything.....what's a Orc?" Willie scratched his scalp through his thin sliver hair.
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ShadowMagic
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 8:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The time passed by slowly, too slow for Rodrick. He drifted off to sleep with in minutes so that his head dooped down to his chest. Sitting in one spot for too long made him tired.

"Good Lord! It has only been half an hour, an' he's out like a light." Willie squinted through his think owl glasses at Rodrick.

Ethyl who was enjoying the sencery called back. "If his snoring starts bothering you, just give him a kick."

Willie broke out in a chuckle. "I don' think I would be wantn' to, unless I be wantn' to learn how to fly."

"Willie....after would it be possible if we could take a detour after our trip." Ethyl turned to face the old man.

"Where's to" Willie reacher over to his cooler.

"North. towards the boarder."

"To Oregon?"

"No. Canada."

"Well." Willie scratch his chin. "we'll have to see. I can't just go off an' joy ride ya know. I have a schedual to follow."

"Thats okay. I will find a way home."

"So you a Canadian girl, what brings you all the way out here?" Willie gave her a sly smile.

Ethyl pointed a finger at Rodrick. " We are sight seeing."

"That must be one hell'a trip by it self."

"You have no idea." Ethyl rolled her eyes.

"Well i think you deserve one of these." Willie pulled out a cold beer from his cooler and handed it to her.

"I thought you couldn't drink on the job?"

"Baa. His thing goes 8 miles an hour, tops. Where's the dangers to that?"

Ethyl cracked the beer open and turned back to the landscape in front of her. Sipping the cold drink she enjoyed the ride.
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liggybird
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Look, I've been a-thinkin' about what you just said."

Willie's voice interrupted Ethyl's thoughts as the balloon drifted over the Grand Canyon.

"I think I know of a way to maybe help you get to Canada."

Ethyl's eyes lit up.

"You do?"

"It's a while since I've flown over these parts, but if I'm not mistaken, that's Jerrry Hakatoto's reservation directly below us. "

Ethyl looked puzzled.

"Jerry's an old friend of mine. His family's the last of a long line of American indians."

Ethyl coudn't see how anyone descended from indians would be in a position to help, but thinking about her Canada home had suddenly caused her to become extremely homesick.

Right now, anything was worth considering.

"Of course, Jerry might not be home right now ..." Willie continued.

"Oh, please, please, please ... we MUST try ... I want you to land!" Ethyl interrupted.

"OK." smiled Willie. "Hold on tight."

With a pull of Willie's strong hands on the dual air-release valve there was a hiss of escaping hot air and the balloon started to descend.

As they descended, Ethyl opened another beer from the cooler. She splashed a few drops of the ice cold liquid down the back of Rodrick's neck.

"WHAT THE WUCK!!!" boomed the startled Orc. ('Wuck' is one of the strongest of a huge number of Orc expletives.)

"Sorry Roddy, but I had to wake you up. We're landing."

Before Ethyl could explain her actions further, the basket they had been travelling in contacted the ground.

The vertical descent hadn't been all that fast, but, even at the maximum 8 mph horizontal velocity, the impact was catastrophic enough to unceremoniously spill out all three of the balloon's occupants. They suddenly found themselves in what appeared to be an old, dried up watercourse.

Willie, in spite of his age, was first to get himself back onto his feet.

"Well," he said with a grin. "I think that went rather well. Don't you?"

Ethyl (who, quite sensibly, had remembered to keep a careful hold onto the beer), picked herself up next. With her free hand, she was dusting herself off.

Rodrick, still a little dazed, staggered groggily over to where Ethyl stood. "I think I deserve what's left of this, don't you?" he insisted as he started prizing the bottle from Ethyl's fingers.

"Now ... would somebody kindly tell me what the Dicken's is going on?!"
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ShadowMagic
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 16, 2009 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After Ethyl explained the plan to Rodrick. He in turn starred at her oddly.

"what i haven't been home in years. I think I at lest deserve a chance to visit now and again."

"Oh no, not another story of your home counrty, please. There is only so much a Orc can take."

"Why you Son of a Bi......."

"ALRIGHT YOU TWO! Are ya gonna to squack over there like old married couple or are ya gonna help me turn over'a this here basket. I ain't as young as I use to be." Willie yelled over as he clumsaly dropped the basket he was lifting. "Seriously, worse them my third marrige."

"Yes, this is what happends when we let an old man drive the ship." Rodrick complaned as he effortessly flipped the ballon basket up right.
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liggybird
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 17, 2009 11:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As soon as the basket was upright, Willie hopped into it and slid open the control panel. After he'd entered what appeared to be a password at the keyboard, he operated a group of levers.

Ethyl and Rodrick watched with curiosity and mild astonishment as articulated protrusions immerged - three on each side - at the base of the basket.

Moments later the basket was rearing itself up on six shiny spider's legs and, with Willie at its controls, started bounding up and down the watercourse.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" Willie called. "Hop aboard. Let's go call on Jerry Hakatoto."

Ethyl eagerly did as Willie instructed. Rodrick did so begrudgingly.

"According to my sat-nav, Jerry's headquarters should be visible when we get to the top of that ridge." said Willie after they'd travelled about three kilometers.

Rodrick was wishing he hadn't called Willie an 'old man'. ("When this is over I need to enrol myself at college or something." the Orc was pondering.)

"Oh my god! Is that it?" gasped Ethyl.

"It sure is. Modest isn't it?" grinned Willie. "If Jerry can't get you to Canada, nobody can."

Before them was an elegant building made of yellow stone the colour of desert sand. An executive jet plane stood at the end of a nearby runway.

"We're in luck. Looks like Jerry's at home." chirped Willie. "That's his private plane. Can you see the letters 'J' and 'H' on the fuselage?"

"Yes I can ..." answered Ethyl, adding with a sigh. "... but what makes you think he will take me all the way to Canada in that?"

"Leave it to me." Willie winked and grinned toothlessly at Ethyl. "Jerry ows me for saving him when he crash landed his hang glider half way down the Grand Canyon last year."

At these words Ethyl felt distinctly more hopeful.

"Also it was me suggested there could likely be oil under the reservation." Willie continued. "Now he owns not only the jet, but just about everything you can see around here, Poppet!"

"Oh, my!" gasped Ethyl.

"Poppet?" muttered Rodrick sarcasticaly under his breath. "I need another beer!"
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ShadowMagic
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The spider craft slowly crawled to a stop before lowering itself to the ground, with Willie at the controls. The legs went back into the so called basket. And Ethyl wondered just what this old man had up his sleeve. Robotic hot air balloons, what else
an android Butler?

"After you my Dear. Watch your step." Willie helped Ethyl out over the basket side.

"Oh yeah, its okay if he calls you that, but you completely freak on me if I say it." Rodrick said sarcastically.

"That is because Willie doesn't make it sound creepy. You do." Ethyl smirked back. "Stick with what you are good at, Roddy. Scaring people senseless."

"Come on you too, day light is awasting." Willie was all the way to the front entrance.

"Wow he moves fast for a old dude." Ethyl whispered to Rodrick. "We should keep an eye on him."

"I thought that the moment I layed eyes on the old geezer." Rodrick commented back.
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liggybird
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ethyl and Rodrick sat side by side. They were cross legged in the middle of a substantial and elegant round carpet.

Willie and his indian chief pal Jerry, also sitting cross legged, finished exchanging shared recollections of the time Willie saved Jerry's life after he crashed his hang glider in the Grand Canyon. Ethyl listened with baited breath as Willie finally broached the subject of her getting transport to Canada.

Willie's request appeared to leave Jerry momentarily speechless. The old chieftain looked calmly at Ethyl. He then looked at Rodrick.

"What indian tribe do you belong to young man?" Jerry asked, puzzled by the Orc's strange appearance.

"Not a tribe. A race." growled Rodrick with pride. "I am not from anywhere you will have heard of. I am an Orc."

"An Orc eh? How strange."

"Yes, an Orc. I am journeying back to my homeland."

Rodrick thought it best to not mention time portals or anything that might risk making him appear crazy in the eyes of the indian. He was less reticent though about declaring his origin and his intentions.

"In my homeland I was a prince ..." Rodrick straightened his back proudly. "... and I will be again when I return to reclaim my rightful place as my people's leader."

Jerry contemplated Rodrick's words. Seconds later a smile emerged on the old indian's lips. Followed by a hearty burst of laughter.

Rodrick's sternness and anger (at recalling his grievance at being in exile) faded as quickly as it had arisen. He too broke into a smile ... then a laugh.

The indian rose to his feet. He gestured to Rodrick to do the same. An instant later the two chieftains were embracing like brothers.

"Prince Rodrick. You are a man after my own heart." proclaimed Jerry when he finally stepped back.

With a smile at Willie, Jerry announced his decision.

"Willie my good man. I am so glad to be able to do something to repay you at last."

Ethyl's heart was pounding.

"Tomorrow," Jerry continued. "I will arrange for one of my pilots to fly to the Canadian border with Prince Rodrick ... and his squaw ."
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ShadowMagic
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 22, 2009 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That night they stayed in a two bunker room. Rodrick slept on the right side of the room and Ethyl on the left by the window.

Ethyl laid in bed with her arms behind her head smiling up at the ceiling.

"Your in an extremely good mood. Haven't seen you this happy since that time you led the Amazons in a surprise attack against the Goblin King to help get their land back."
Rodrick looked over at her.

"Man, could those brods ever lay a beat down. And hell yes I'm in a good mood. I'm going to go home. I'm going to go home." Ethyl sung out.

"Aahhh, alright! I get it! Now just go to sleep." Rodrick pulled the pillow over his head.

"Sleep! How can anyone think of sleep at a time like this!" Ethyl had a big grin on her face.

"ME!" Rodrick said through the pillow

"Ah, you were always a party pooper. Alright goodnight."

"Finally!" and he rolled over facing the hall. Within an hour he started to snore.

"Jeez, wake the dead why don't you!" Ethyl yelled at him and then buried her head under her pillow to block the noise. Rodrick snored on all through the night.
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liggybird
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Fasten your seat belts please. We've been cleared to land at Niagara Falls International Airport."

The seats of the jet hadn't been designed with passengers the size of Rodrick in mind. At last his uncomfortable journey was nearing its end.

Ethyl watched the mist shrouded Niagara Falls below as the plane circled over them on its landing approach. Although she was of Canadian birth, it was the first time she'd seen them other than in films or on photographs.

Her thoughts, however, weren't on the splendour of the sight, but on how she and Rodrick might cross from the USA to Canada without going through Canadian immigration control.

It might be possible to convince them that Rodrick was just an unusually large, green skinned human who wore strange clothes - but, without any form of identity papers to show, in their eyes he might as well have the words 'illegal alien' stamped on his forehead.

"Ahem! Excuse me Ms Grey." The voice was that of the plane's stewardess. "I've been instructed to give you this at the end of your flight."

The employee had in her hand a small, sealed package. "I'm also to say 'it's with the compliments of your friend Willie Lasol and Mr Hakatoto'."

Ethyl, with a puzzled expression, took the package and thanked the stewardess.

"Enjoy your visit to Canada." With that the stewardess returned to her quarters at the rear of the plane's fuselage.

"Well? Aren't you going to open it then?" grunted Rodrick impatiently. "I hope it's not a book. I hate reading."

Ethyl rolled her eyes briefly, then proceeded to open the package.

In it were two Canadian passports. One was in Ethyl's name, the other in Rodrick's. They had photographs and some personal details which, though incorrect, had the appearance of being genuine.

Ethyl's anxiety diminished significantly. Moments later she noticed that the surnames on both passports were identical.

Now all Ethyl and Rodrick had to do was to act the parts of ... Mr and Mrs Smith.

"How un-original," thought Ethyl. "... but 'thank you' all the same, Willie."
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ShadowMagic
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 24, 2009 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"ID and personal information please." The woman behind the gate counter asked,m not paying full attention to ether Rodrick or Ethyl. The short skinny woman was reading a fashion magazine. She took quick glances at the passport and then stamped them.
"Have a nice day." She said in a bored tone.

"Wow that was extremely easy." Ethyl said as they maneuvered there way to the front entrance. The crowd of people split to get out of Rodrick's way.

"So does this mean we are married now?" Rodrick was leafing through both booklets.

"There hell we are. It just says that to get us in. And please keep saying 'Dear' to a minimum." Ethyl pointed her index finger at him.

"Yes Dear." Rodrick just couldn't help himself.

As they were going through the metal detector, it immediately went off. Rodrick was left standing there with a puzzled look on his face.

"Sir your going to have to take off the armour. and and other item that may contain metal." The poor security woman standing behind the counter said in a half scared voice.

"Oh my god, that is his whole wardrobe." Ethyl covered her hand over her eyes in embarrassment. Then she stepped in. "I think it would be wise if you only went over him with the wand if you catch my drift." the woman looked at her puzzled. "He doesn't have ummmm.......... anything underneath" She whispered into the woman's ear.

The security woman looked at Rodrick horrified.

"What?" Rodrick didn't have a clue what was going on.

"Just let him through, he's causing a lineup." the woman hurried Ethyl and Rodrick through.

"Feww." Ethyl breathed out. "That was a close one."

"What did you say to her?"

"The truth.....unfortunally.....this conversation will never be spoken or brought up again."

They next they picked up there luggage and went outside to the busy sidewalks of Toronto.

"We need to look for a pay phone." Ethyl scanned the scene. "Ah, there is one." It was a few feet away from the front doors.

"And you would be call who exactly?" Rodrick said following close behind.

"An old friend of mine. He can help us get some transportation."

"Ah no! no more flying! As your husband i say no more to air crafts."

"Wow you are really taking this Smith thing seriously........Any who, we aren't going to travel by fancy planes but by truck. Mac Truck to be exact. However if we drive it around we have to make deliveries as well."

"Say what...?"

"Back in the day, the way to see the land was to haul cargo and ship supplies. I think you will love this one very much. And if you are a good fake-husband orc, i just might treach you how to drive."

"And why do you suppose I would even want to drive."

"Because, if i get tired, i can just let you take the wheel." She smiled.

Rodrick rolled his eyes and shookhis head.
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liggybird
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 2:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The friend of Ethyl's who had brought the truck unfastened his bicycle from behind the driver's cab.

He held out the keys for Ethyl to take, then he put on his trouser clips and, turning only to give a waive with one hand, peddled off down the road.

"I can't help thinking we'd have been better off either renting or stealing a car." Rodrick commented when he judged the man was out of earshot.

"Why? What's wrong with this?" Ethyl said, turning to look at the truck's bright red paintwork and gleaming chrome fenders and trim.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?" exclaimed Rodrick. "Well. For a start it's ... an articulated lorry! "

"So? How hard can it be to drive an articulated vehicle?" Ethyl said glibly.

"You tell me. You're the driving expert." retorted Rodrick. Before Ethyl could continue the Orc pointed to the sixty foot long trailer and its load.

"... and what in the name of the Goblin King are we supposed to do with those?"

Ethyl sighed.

"The giant redwood tree trunks? What do you think? Drop them in the St Lawrence seaway?"

Rodrick looked surprised.

"Of course not!" she continued. "Don't worry about them. You'll see. Now, quit questioning me and get in the passenger seat !"

Rodrick knew when he was beaten. He did as instructed.

"Oh well. Might as well get used to being the underdog ... er ... married." he was thinking.
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 27, 2009 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"ahh this brings back memories." Ethyl took the front seat and rubbed the steering wheel.

Rodrick climbed in as well. "Roomy." He flopped into the widely padded chair and adjusted the seat back so he could put his feet on the dash board. "Ahh, much better."

"See I told you would like it. You actually fit the seats. There's also a bed in the back."

"All this place needs is a kitchen and we could live in here." Rodrick mocked.

Ethyl put the key in the ignition and turned the key. The truck motor roared to life. "Listen to that baby purr."

"Baby? Sounds more like my Father when he's drunk, and there isn't anything cute about that."

"Eww your right." Ethyl kicked the truck into first gear and slowly cranked it up high, gaining more speed. Rodrick sat there trying not to look nervous and put on his seat belt. He had never seen Ethyl drive before up till now.

"Might what to slow down for that corner!" Rodrick piped up gripping the arm rests tight as Ethyl zoomed around the sharp turn in the road.

"Don't be such a baby Roddy. I know what I'm doing."

"Really! And if we do hit a tree, I am going to tell you, I told you so!"

"Haha, Rodrick, this truck would cutting through the tree, i would be more worried about rolling this beast over. You usually don't walk away from that......" She stopped talking.

"Thanks, now I lost faith in your driving skills."

"You wouldn't be the first." Ethyl laughed. "But no one has died while I was at the wheel, so you have a chance at survival." She gave him a quick smile and concentrated her gaze back on the road .

"How reassuring."

"Okay the first stop of the trip will be in Ottawa. We will fill up on gas and have some lunch Then head west. How does that sound.?"

"I don't think I will be fit to eat after this trip."

"Oh yeah! I forgot you get motion sickness easily. Well suck it up big boy this is going to be one long trip." Ethyl laughed.

Rodrick groaned it torment as Ethyl took another sharp turn at a high speed.
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The articulated lorry skidded to a halt in a cloud of dust at a diner on the Ottawa freeway.

"OK. You can open your eyes now. Time for some food."

In an instant Ethyl was out of the cab and standing on terra-firma. Rodrick's trembling fingers struggled to unfasten his seat belt.

"Hurry up. I'm so hungry I could eat a caribou ... antlers and all."

Rodrick tried to keep up as they headed for the diner.

*

Two plates of food arrived - steaming hot and covered in gravy. For fully five minutes nothing was said as they shovelled forkfull after forkfull into their mouths.

*

"Phew! That was awesome!" commented Ethyl as she pushed her plate towards the middle of the table. "I win!"

"What?" said Rodrick. "I didn't even know we were racing!"

Before the conversation went any further Ethyl suddenly hushed Rodrick from speaking.

Two policemen had entered the diner. They appeared to be questioning a member of the diner's staff about something.

"Quick!" Ethyl whispered to Rodrick. "Go to the news stand and buy two newspapers. I'll settle the bill and meet you there."

*

Two figures (apparently engrossed in reading their broadsheet newspapers) crossed the diner's car park towards a red articulated lorry.

Ethyl put the lorry into a u-turn. She accelerated back onto the freeway, repeatedly checking her rear view mirrors as she did so.

"What was all that about?" asked Rodrick. "I was kinda hoping there'd be pudding."
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ShadowMagic
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Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 56
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After a few long hour of driving, Ethyl was starting to get tired. It was dead quiet as they listened to the sound of the engine rumble and the tires crunch over lose rocks.

"Look! Go to bed if you are weary. No sense in killing us both because of your stupidity." Rodrick eyed Ethyl angrily.

"I'm fine." Ethyl yawned "We just need some music."Ethyl leaned over and flicked on the radio. A country station was playing a sad song. "Borrrrrriiiiing!" Ethyl switched over to another station. A punk band was blaring in the speakers. "What am I, 18? Where's the good stuff?"

"What in the name of the unholy saints are you doing?" Rodrick grumbled in annoyance. He didn't like the harsh screeching static noises between the music stations.

"Oh does this bother you?" Ethyl looked over at him and then smiled. She purposely looked for the worse sounding static just to torture Rodrick. What else was there to do?

"If you don't stop I will smash that box to bits." Rodrick cursed as he covered his ears.

"Alright, alright. I'll stop." Ethyl laughed. "I found my station anyway."

"I would prefer silence." Rodrick grumbled.

Ethyl turned the nob for the last time and cranked up the sound. It was an old rock station. She sat back in her seat and smiled.

"........and that was Def Leppard. Coming up next in this hour the top 25 most voted songs of the 80's but first a quick look at the weather. Oh looks like there is going to be a thunder storm brewing in southern Ontario along with a chance of hail at minus 10, with the wind chill it would feel like minus 20. Sure wouldn't want to be a trucker of highway 17 right now. in other regions partly sunny......... "

"Thunder storm? There isn't even a cloud in the sky." Ethyl looked up through the wind shield and a white peddle bounced off the hood of the truck. "You have got to be kidding me!" Ethyl looked in horror as white marbled sized ice balls rain down cutting her visibility down with each passing minute. Eventually she found a spot to pull over and wait it out.

"We have been cursed by the voice box of the truck! Why did you have to go and make it mad!" Rodrick scowled at her.

"Okay, for one thing, its called a radio AND it can't curse people. We just ran in to some bad luck, that's all."

"......in other news, the police are looking for two suspects driving a transport truck. The first person is female, aged in her late 30's, height 6'1, green eyes, blond hair. The woman is suspected to be wearing a gray shirt and camouflage pants. The other suspect is Male, age unknown, height 6'2, long black hair.........this can't be right........his skin is green?........ wearing armor?......Okaaaayyyyy..... If these individuals are spotted, you should contract the police immediately. I know I would.....okay back to playing music.."

"Jeez I wouldn't want to be those two suckers." Rodrick mumbled.

Ethyl looked over at Rodrick and stared at him with raised eye brows. 'Ahh, Rodrick..."

"What?"

"Those two suckers would be us."

"Well in that case...." Rodrick turned to the radio and started talking to it. "Announcer guy, you forgot to tell every one that "the female is also bossy, bad tempered and easily mistaken for a man." Then he laughed at his joke.

"Why you arrogant ........ well they didn't describe you right ether. They forgot to mention, ' a boozing alcoholic, who is more likely then not then not the one who starts the bar fights and makes little children cry."

"That was one time, don't hold it against me forever woman. And the kid was a momma's boy anyway. At any rate the radio forgot to mention that you are "extremely bitc....."

"Okay that's it, the gloves are off. I'm not letting you win this one..."

It the passing minutes the storm progressed as the wind moaned and the lighting split though the dark cloudy sky. Rodrick and Ethyl argued with each other until they became tired and fell asleep. The fight was tied. But Rodrick let Ethyl win.
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liggybird
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Location: Sheffield, UK

PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 12:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ethyl wasn't enjoying the swaying to and fro of being carried in a howda on the back of the elephant.

The howda was very elegant. On its inside there were velvet cushions. Outside it was painted a dazzling red. The roof was ornately trimmed with real gold leaf.

It was a howda built for a princess. But there were at least two problems with this.

One, Ethyl wasn't a princess. And two, the country she was in wasn't Canada!

It was India. And Ethyl was being taken to Hyderabad - to be married in an arranged wedding!

The elephant was plodding on relentlessly and Ethyl was getting more and more agitated. It seamed things couldn't get any worse. (Marriage to someone you've never met - how scary is that?!)

It was then that Ethyl noticed the elephant carrying her was approaching a bridge. The bridge spanned the deepest ravine she'd ever seen ... and was supported only by ropes!

There was nothing Ethyl could do. Already she could feel the howda sway alarmingly to the left as the elephant took its first step onto the bridge.

Another step. Another swing - this time to the right.

It was when the elephant reached the half way point that the cloud appeared.

Followed by the hail ...

Followed by the elephant trying to go backwards ...

Followed by Ethyl grabbing what she thought was one corner of the howda's coachwork ...

Followed by ...

*

"For heaven's sake woman! Let go of my arm!"

The articulated lorry swerved alarmingly as Rodrick struggled to steer with Ethyl clinging tightly to his right elbow.

Once she'd let go of his arm (or maybe he'd shook her off) the Orc glanced briefly towards his passenger.

Her still sleep-filled eyes were now struggling to focus on the road along which the logging truck was hurtling.

"Was it my driving woke you up dear? I'm sorry." Rodrick said, adding with a smile. "I hope it was a nice dream you were having."
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ShadowMagic
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Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 56
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Your going way too fast on this stretch of the road!" Ethyl yelled gripping her fingernails into the armrest of her seat.

"You didn't seem to have a problem when you were driving at this speed, stop being a wimp soldier and man....i mean woman up."

"I never go over 120 clicks. Slow down a bit or you'll have the cops after us." Ethyl was going to say anything to make him slow right down before he hit a snow bank........snow bank???

"Ummm..... Roddy, did you turn off Highway 17?" Ethyl glared at him.

"I might have.....I got lost okay! I can't read a map and drive this thing at the same time now can I."

" What highway are we on now?"

"Ummm I didn't quite catch that, the signs are cover in snow." Rodrick's voice trailed off, he knew Ethyl was mad. Rodrick took a quick glance at Ethyl, her arms were folded and she was giving 'I'm not impressed with you right now' look.

"Ummm so...." Rodrick coughed. "I have a question for you. What does the little flashing light mean?"

"The little flashing light?"

"Yeah the one right there, it makes a dinging sound too now and again."

Rodrick and Ethyl sat in silence waiting for the mysterious noise. A faint little 'ding, ding' noise came from the dash board and then stopped. Ethyl unbuckled her seat belt and slowly made her way over to the driver's side. Ethyl started to laugh uncontrollably and sat back in her seat.

"Well? What does it mean?" Rodrick waited.

When Ethyl's stopped giggling she said. "It says we have no gas."

"How is that a funny thing?"

"I don't know.......but I know we are going to have one hell of a night."

"What?"

The truck gave a sickening cough and stared to die. It coasted for a bit before coming to a complete stop.

The light outside was fading and the temperature was dropping as well. Ethyl rummaged through the glove compartment and drought out a flashlight to help read the map.

"Okay i remember we were heading in this direction. Did you pick up any names off of the signs on the way here?"

"Fort Rupert."

"Okay we just went a bit north thats all. Thank you god"

"But we can't go anywhere. Got no gas remember." Rodrick pointed out the obvious.

"Yes well I guess we will have to start walking then, won't we." Ethyl pulled out a gas can from behind her seat and handed it to Rodrick with a smug smile on her face.
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liggybird
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"OK you two, freeze and put your hands on your heads!"

Without turning round to see who was behind them, Ethyl and Rodrick stopped walking and did as ordered.

They glanced at each other out of the corners of their eyes as the waited.

Ethyl fancied she heard the sound of an approaching horse's hooves. Moments later she felt hot bursts of horsey smelling breath snorting against the back of her neck.

That was too much. She spun round with an indignant look on her face. The startled horse shyed away backwards.

"Now look here! We haven't done anything wrong." she protested. "Just who do you think you are treating innocent citizens as if they were criminals?!"

"Just doing ma job, ma'am. I am, as you've no doubt noticed by now, a member of ... the Royal Canadian mounted police."

The mounted policeman straightened his back, proudly displaying his breeches, his elegant scarlet tunic and the stetson hat he was wearing.

"And here's ma badge and ma credentials if you still want further proof."

The man leaned forward on his horse and held the items in front of Ethyl's face.

Ethyl inspected them. Then she noticed the officer's surname. It was was 'Grey'. Same as hers.

Could it be?

Suddenly a memory of herself as a six year old - sitting bare-back on a horse behind a gangly youth and galloping across an open meadow - came rushing back to her.

"Seth?" she gasped incredulously. "Uncle Seth? Is it you?"

After he put his ID away the handsomely uniformed figure squinted as he looked Ethyl up and down.

Any six year old would have changed a lot in however many years it had been. But there was no mistaking that yellow hair, those emerald green eyes (not to mention the ballsy attitude!).

Yep! She was undoubtedly the same girl ... er ... woman.

"Well I'll be a Mount McKinley buzzard!" the young man gasped in suspended disbelief. "What? Four million square miles of British Columbia (give or take the odd million). Holla carp! What are the odds?"

He was obviously thoroughly gob-smacked. His head waived from side to side in mild confusion. Eventually he recovered his poise.

"And my ... how you've grown!"

Ethyl smiled.

"I could say the same about you." she remarked.

At first Rodrick had found the highly improbable encounter between Ethyl and her uncle Seth mildly fascinating.

By now, however, the whole thing was becoming rather schmaltzy and for him the novelty was wearing off. (Also his arms were starting to feel a bit tired.)

"Ahem!" he coughed. "May we take our hands off our heads now?"

Without waiting for an answer from Seth, Rodrick turned to Ethyl.

"And ... maybe someone would be so kind as to introduce me. Eh, my dear?"
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