Ways To Make Halo 2 Better

[ZOMGHappyNoodleBoyZOMG]

[b]Author's Note: Allow me to clarify that the following is intended solely for parody's sake. This is intended to make you smile, not to be taken as a serious request. Are we clear? If we are not clear on this please leave and never read this again as you have probably stepped in dog s**t one too many times and clearly have no sense of humor. Now gimme your attention as I awe you with my ideas of smartness stuff.[/b]


After having played Halo 2 for several days I have to make clear that there are a number of things that simply must be fixed in order to keep this game worthwhile. I will list them below. Note that I only list human equivalents of weapons when there is an alien equivalent, I wish to include the alien equivalent as well, but am too lazy/stupid to look it up.

1. The Energy Sword must be removed as it makes it too easy for people to dominate me when I run directly up to them or do not feel like a strategic retreat.

2. The Shotgun must be removed it is too easy to dominate me when I run directly up to these people.

3. The Sniper Rifle must be removed as it makes it too easy to dominate me when I run around without even a thought of cover in the middle of wide open levels.

4. The Rocket Launcher must be removed as it makes it too easy to dominate me when I take no actions against it. Ditto the Brute Shot.

5. The Needler, when it is dually wield, is too strong and I don't know how to overcome it, it must be removed.

6. It is too easy for other players to run me down with vehicles, they must all be removed.

7. The Battle Rifle is too versatile of a weapon and must be removed in order to maintain game balance after the other weapons have been removed.

8. Grenades are too strong when thrown accurately and we must either remove them or limit people to one grenade that they can carry.

9. Fall Damage must be incorporated on a massive scale, by which I mean if you set your foot down too fiercely you will loose your life to fall damage. I do not care that Chief is a futuristic supersoldier.

10. Melee Attacks are too strong, and must be removed. I do not care that Chief is a futuristic supersoldier. And do not posses sufficient skill to move out of the way before someone gets close enough to melee me.

11. The online matching system must be entirely revamped so that all players are at the mercy of those with higher bandwidths. I don't like playing with randomly selected people who are often better than I am.

12. Other people use the radar. I do not. Remove it to make it fair to me.

13. Sometimes I look away from the screen and do not see other players approach me. Vision should be removed from all players in order to achieve fairness. I think that we should also look into the ability to walk and see what sort of fairness issues that raises.


These changes will leave us with a game far superior to Halo2, one in which the only weapons are the Magnum, the Plasma Pistol, the SMG, and the Carbine, in which there is no jumping and massive fall damage, none of this online random matchmaking, no Melee Attacks and in which the Grenades are massively limited, it would also make it a game in which you can neither see nor walk. This would be, in my opninion far more fun and fair.

[_matt_]

you forgot to mention the plamas rifle.

[VR_Jay]

Hahaha! That made me laugh, thanks. ^_^
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[color=black]"Your toast is burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff!" ~ Caboose, Red vs. Blue[/color]

[ZOMGHappyNoodleBoyZOMG]

[quote="_matt_ (_lee_)"] you forgot to mention the plamas rifle. [/quote]
Yeah I got flamed by my friends at school for not putting that in. =/ I forgot

[_matt_]

number 9 and 13 are the best.

[ZOMGHappyNoodleBoyZOMG]

9 and 13 were my favorite too. I'm currently typing up a sequal to this post to make fun of some more Halo 2 haters. I'll put in some of the weapons I forgot and then we will all be happy.