Rules For Writing Good

[Stratadrake]

I'm sure that all writers, from beginner to expert, can benefit from a few simple tips and tricks of the writing trade. Here they are!

- Always avoid annoying asonance and alliteration.

- Never use a big word where a diminuitive one will suffice.

- Employ the vernacular.

- Don't use profanity for the sheer hell of it.

- Eschew obfuscation, ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

- Remember to never, under any circumstances, split an infinitive.

- Contractions aren't needed, so don't use them.

- Foreign words and phrases, even the kosher sounding ones, really are not apropos.

- It's always bad to generalize.

- Eliminate quotations. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

- Comparisons are as bad as clichs.

- Don't be unnecessarily and needlessly redundant.

- Aim to be more or less specific.

- Understatement is always best.

- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

- One-word sentences? Eliminate.

- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

- The active voice is preferred. The passive voice is to be avoided.

- Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloqualisms.

- Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

- Who needs rhetorical questions?

- Don't never use double negations.

- Do not phrase statements in the negative form.

- capitalize every sentence, and always end them with a period or other punctuation right

- Verbs has to agree with its subjects.

- Too wurds: Spel chek.

- When you done, proofread carefully to if you any words out.

- If you re-read your work, you can find, on rereading, a great deal of repetition that you can avoid by rereading and editing.

- A writer must not change his point of view, especially in the middle of your sentences.

- Were you listening when I said to never talk directly to the reader?

- Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it other people will have a hard time understanding it otherwise.

- In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart.

- But don't use commas, or pauses, that aren't necessary, for the sentence.

- Its also important to use your apostrophe's correctly. Use them for possessive's, not plural's.

- About those darned sentence fragments.

- Prepositions are a terrible thing to end a sentence with.

- And don't start sentences with a conjunction.

- Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!!!

- Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

- Writing carefully, dangling participles should be avoided.

- If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

- Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

- Don't abbrev.

- Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs good.

- Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

- Always pick on the correct idiom.

- The adverb always follows the verb.

- Watch out for irregular verbs which have creeped into language.

- Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without its object.

- Use hyphens for compound-words, not just any two word phrase.

- Avoid accidental rhymes. Few things are worse than reading prose and spotting verse.

- And last but not least, avoid clichs like the plague.
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[n8comics]

Hmm... Why not just add these in the Fanfic Tutorial instead of creating a new thread about it?

By the way, it's not "Writing Good," it's "Writing Well." ^_^ Just a heads up, 'cause if you want to write "good" you wanna use proper grammar right

[Jailcrow_of_Mandos]

Thank you, Nate, for starting me out. I much prefer your tutorial.

I shall now anaylize a few of the points that I do not agree with. At times, I will probably use reference to [i]published[/i] authors.

--To start off: the word is spelled assonance, with two 's's. Please re-read your work and fix spelling errors. Alliteration, like any part of our language, is a form of art and when used properly, provides for pleasing affects. In my book, which I have sent to publishers, I use alliteration in chapters with a character whose culture largely revolves around word play.

--Big words vs. small words? That would depend on personal preference I believe. While I despised [u]The Scarlet Letter[/u], I have fallen in love with the Master and Commander series by Patrick O'brian, twenty books full of expanding grammar and vocabulary, and none the more distracting or less entertaining for it.

--Your suggestion of employing the vernacular is rather contradictory with later remarks you made that I will point out in due time.

--Cussing? Stephen King. (employing the vernacular )

--Parenthetical remarks are used commonly, once again, by Patrick O'brian to indicate a change in tone, rather than using consistant commas, to show that someone is speaking off topic or under their breath, as a normal person would speak in a conversation.

--Infinitives can be split. The linguist Howard Richler, who wrote [u]A Bawdy Language[/u], explained that such traditions entered the english language only through latin grammar, where an infinitive cannot be split because it is one word.

--Contractions depend on the vernacular and the time period. For instance, they did not have them in the middle ages, but they did during the 18th and 19th centuries. Fo'c'sle was a contraction used in the 19th century navy for the word forecastle, once again employing the vernacular.

--Foreign words are a part of our language. Unlike the French, we have a policy of excepting new words into our language from around the world, which is why we have the largest lexicon of any language. Once again, all stats from [u]A Bawdy Language[/u].

--To generalize what? It depends what you are generalizing. If the character you are writing as is racist, it is resonable to assume they will generalize the race they are against. You are generalizing this point, as if to say everything you write will be in first person.

--Eliminating quotations. You mean a key element of newspaper articles and research papers? It is imparative to use references in some circumstances. Even in certain stories, famous authors or philosophers are quoted by characters who would naturally know of them. Stephen King, once again.

--Comparisons? You mean similes? I prefer the metaphors myself, but I find similes equally important to convey to the reader the idea the character is feeling in unison with an idea that the reader is more familiar with so they will more readily sympathize with the character.

--As for redunancy, it is an element of literature that is sometimes used to make sure a reader gets a certain point. There is a story on FAC by the user Nautical_Nymph that consistantly explains the character's name to be sure the reader understands its importance in relation to his emotions and the irony in the story.

--Exaggeration can be used to convey a sense of great emotion or bring to light how overwhelming a situation can be.

-- I would just like to mention in regards to one-word sentence theory that it can be very effective tool. I have not read the book [u]Hatchet[/u] in years, but I can still remember the effect of the one-word sentence at the end of the first paragraph in the book: "Divorce." It is also a method employed by Patrick O'brian to save time, and I appreciate it.

--As you might have noticed from my writing, I do use passive voice on some occasions. There is more complex grammar in some sentences that I would say require it. The entire idea is not to draw out sentences as I have in the following: "The body, that was killed, and was bloody, and dripping all over the floor, was dragged out by the butler who had a pink shirt." In the 2004 Writer's Market, a bit of advice was to know the rules and then break them.

I feel I have said enough to prove my point. I cannot bear to go on. Writing is an art form and all forms of it should be respected- abstract or classical.

[fallenangel]

[b]IT'S A fUCKING JOKE![/b]

The fact neither of you noticed terrifies me. Read them again. Notice how every rule breaks the rule it's supposed to be saying. Get it? :huh:

Strata: I got it, and I thought it was very funny.
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"I care about people as much as I care about lawn furniture" - Dexter/Michael C. Hall

[Jailcrow_of_Mandos]

In my defense- I got it. It's just that once I got it, I didn't want it anymore.

[plungergirl]

Unlike most other people, it seems, I got the joke... That was hilarious, Stratadrake... *grin* Utterly hilarious...

[silver_dreams]

lol, excellent, Strata

[KFelidae]

Heheh. Commas.

"I, cannot believe, you, do not, believe me, Mister, Spock..." [/Kirk]


-KF

[CodLiverOil27]

[quote]- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.[/quote]

that made me laugh out loud.
excellent.

[CodLiverOil27]

also the reason some people may not have gotten it was because some of those rules worked. well kinda worked. some of them sounded real.

[silver_dreams]

[quote="CodLiverOil27 (Kathleen)"] also the reason some people may not have gotten it was because some of those rules worked. well kinda worked. some of them sounded real. [/quote]
dont double-post, please.

[Jailcrow_of_Mandos]

For Valar's sake >.< I got the joke, and I'm sure it took some time to construct. I thought they were meant to be an entertaining way of expressing the commonly accepted rules for writing well. The rules are simply not necessary, which is the point [i]I[/i] was trying to convey >:/ If everyone followed those rules, writing would be so very dull. Jeehosaphat.

[LightningAurora]

Excellent stuff, strata. This must have taken ages to type up!

[Paru]

lol, for a minute there I thought that it was supposed to be serious!
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[Stratadrake]

[quote]Excellent stuff, strata. This must have taken ages to type up![/quote]

Actually no. There are many versions of the list across the Internet, all you need to do is some searching....
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[silver_dreams]

[quote="Ki-oni (Kristy)"] Very funny, it took me a few minutes to get.....

anyway, i need help with my book because I feel restricted. (I am 13... ) [/quote]
i'd be willing to help you, if you wish ^^

[silver_dreams]

[quote="Ki-oni (Kristy)"] thank you. If you want i'll send you a copy of my first 2 chapters.. my 3rd chapter is going to take a while.... [/quote]
sure, you can email it to me or IM or whatever.^_^

[Stratadrake]

BTW, multiple-posting is exactly why we have the "edit" button available.
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[silver_dreams]

[quote="Ki-oni (Kristy)"] ok.. Yahoo has shat itself... won't let me send to ur hotmail address [/quote]
strange, but you can just post it in Fanfic Critiques if you want, from there i'll be able to read it and help you.