Some Advice

LightningAurora · Still very bored Joined: 06 Jun 2004 Posts: 370

Hey guys (and brother), I'm in a bit of a dilemma and could do with some advice.

Yesterday I finally managed to yell at my long-term friend for treating me like dirt. She was doing what she always does, trying to make me feel guilty over something that I shouldn't feel guilty about(or something she should feel guilty for!). She always shifts the blame!

Anyway, now I do feel guilty for yelling, even though I shouldn't, and feel like I should apologise or something.

It's not like I should care if she is no longer my friend - I'm just a 'fall-back' friend to her anyway. But we have been friends for years, and she never used to be this way.

What should I do about it?

PhunkYMunkY · Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 4:53 am Post subject:

Just talk to her about it.. or kick her ass :P

...Talk to her, if it doesn't work out, then YOU walk out... Easy as. Noone needs a 'friend' like that so I say If they value that much as a friend they'd stop, if not they can beat it.

I had a 'friend' like that.. All his life he would tease, pick on me, mock me etc.. I'd known him for as long as I can remember (I don't hav a Great remembory) but I just stopped hanging around with him and only saw him in work where we do get along.. My self esteem and self confidence has gone waay up since this.. I probly woold have become, God forbid Uneasy

, Emo if I hadn't stoped hanging around with him,.. Holy crap lol..

Well good luck with whatever you decide to do with your friend.. You'll make the right choice Smile

TheManoftheFrogs · Rookie Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 28

Like Mr Frog told you before she isa waste of time who is trying to be something she is not, if you think you should have yelled at her, then don't apologise as you have nothing to apologise for, she had it coming the little horse face Surprised

Powtaz · Oldbie Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2141

i think u should give her my number, hook us up, leave us alone in the backroom with a bottle of whine and an electronic horse...

PhunkYMunkY · Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 8:05 am Post subject:

[quote="Powtaz (Powtaz)"] i think u should give her my number, hook us up, leave us alone in the backroom with a bottle of whine and an electronic horse... [/quote]
Oh
My
Dog

Lmao, Pow!

[img]http://www.xenia.f2s.com/gallery/oro.jpg[/img]

_matt_ · Has No Life Joined: 11 Nov 2004 Posts: 582

this reminds me of "confessions of a teenage drama queen." Laughing

LightningAurora · Still very bored Joined: 06 Jun 2004 Posts: 370

Ha! I AM a drama queen and proud! And I'm nearly 18 too! Actually, I feel a lot happier now. Powtaz's answer cracked me up so much I can't be sad. Thanks!

TheManoftheFrogs · Rookie Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 28

Powatz definately has the answer there, but he left out on crucial element, catnip Surprised

CheshireGoddess · Forum Stalker Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 1063

I agree with Gray 99% just avoid the kicking her ass part Laughing

_________________
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TheManoftheFrogs · Rookie Joined: 14 Oct 2004 Posts: 28

[quote="CheshireGoddess ()"] I agree with Gray 99% just avoid the kicking her ass part Laughing

[/quote]
Trust Mr Frog, that girl needs her ass kicked Surprised

Raymei · Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 1:13 pm Post subject:

First things first T_T know that ALL relationships (either frienships or couple-ships) eventually end.
Either threw bad break-ups, or death. So don't be afraid to lose someone and just roll with it.

Second, sit down, alone, and think about this friendship.
If you have to, write down reasons why or why not to stay friends (I suggest writing reasons WHY first, usually when people write the "why nots" first they decide they're gonna kick their asses before they get to the positive points)

Now this isn't to compare how many reasons you have going against the other so don't start on me for that yet.
This is just to give you a clear persepective of the relationship between the two of you.

After you've done that get back to me and I'll tell you what to do next.

LightningAurora · Still very bored Joined: 06 Jun 2004 Posts: 370

Okay, Raymei, I've done it. It feels stupid that I'm 18 soon and still can't handle friendships very well, but I suppose we can only improve! Very Happy

Raymei · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:42 am Post subject:

age doesn't matter o.o people will always have problems with friendships and relationships and stuff.
As long as people have the ability to do stupid things (which we ALL do and always will lol) then we'll have problems.

Anyway, back to the exercise ^^ lol (note: this is something I was taught when I had a VERY similar problem)

Now that you have the lists, take the "why not list", crumple it up, and throw it away. You never want to dwell on bad things all the time. not good for ya ;)

If there were problems on it that are current issues, then talk to her about it (not accusing, but in a "this is how I feel, and I want to remain friends, so this is what has to change..." way)

If you guys are going to stay friends, then she should be mature enough (and care about you enough) to listen to these problems and take your feelings seriously.

If you start to get angry (like...she gets defensive and starts to boil up) think of that other list you wrote. If you think she's someone you want to remain friends with (which I hope you do) then think of that list and all the good things you guys had between the two of you.

The most important thing to remember when talk to her is to try not to turn it into a fight.
If she starts to lose her temper, remind her of that.
"This isn't a fight, I'm telling you whats really bothering me" etc etc

^^;;; I hope this helps.
Like I said before, this was advice passed onto me that really helped (heck, through all our problems, I've still got a best friend of almost 6 years now -- I've never had ANY friendships that long lol used to just walk away)

So I hope this helps you ^^ even if this particular friendship should end or not, in other friendships too.

good luck!

ragingflea002 · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 2:45 pm Post subject:

I personally like to leave it as is, get the reasons why, then make sure that if they need something, they don't recieve it.
But I'm influence by the Mafia, so my two cents are worthless.
_________________
Not all who wander are lost.
"The separation between spirit and logic is reasonable because spirit is defined by faith and logic forces others to think about what they have faith in."

LightningAurora · Still very bored Joined: 06 Jun 2004 Posts: 370

Thanks everyone! Smile

I'm extremely grateful for all your advice. Thanks for taking the time to help me, especially you, Raymei. Oh, and Powtaz too, for making me laugh.

Serious, depressed moment from me - now over! Thankfully.....

kenshinswife · Very bored Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 144

I'll add my advice too! I have the SAME exact problem...sorta...my friend that I've known for...5 years has really been getting on my nerves. She's always making me feel like crap and always going around pretending that other people are her best friends to make me sad.

I think that you should talk to her....but since now everything's over...I'm probably too late now right??? . . . .

Good luck with everything!!!! ^_^