Powtaz Valentine Special

Powtaz · Oldbie Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2140

Hey there people of FAC. Today i'd like to take the time to educate you on love and happiness and its effect on humanity. I shall do this with an imaginary character I shall call Jim.

Jim was a happy young lad, always doing his homework and eating his green vegetables. Jim enjoyed everything and everyone, but then......Priscilla moved to town. Jim found that his studies were dropping and his desire for vegetables was lowering. He also discovered that he was becoming a man, with all of his sexual desires for Priscilla.

Jim and Priscilla hooked up and went steady, together they fell in love. But teenage love is premature and they rushed fast into things, Jim made love to Priscilla on Valentines day, unprotected and underage. On his way home, Jim got hit by a bus and died terribly.

Because of their sons death, Jim's parents then killed themselves and his brothers became violent maniacs, they murdered the family dog, and the cat was locked in the microwave. Jim's casket disolved, because he had gotten herpes from the girl he had fallen in love with.

Please have sex responsibly tonight, wear protection, and follow your parents rules. Unprotected sex kills, don't be like Jim, and god bless america.

Sad

Happy Valentines Day :wub:

Ogrim_Doomhammer · Oldbie Joined: 06 Dec 2004 Posts: 2116

wow powtaz im so sorry for jim...
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Powtaz · Oldbie Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2140

also i'd like to take this time to bring to you some history.

Last year, on this day, Feb 14, aka Valentines day, Lasher had some wise words for us.

Lasher, this is for you,

[quote]I agree with what you said, BUT the eww thing bothers me.

It happens to much in the chat, because five of us can be having a conversation, laughing, keep ourselves entertained quite well and they go "Eww! stop that, sex is dirty" just because we were talking about AFF one time, and comments like that aren't needed.

If your not even putting anything in to a real conversation, and "eww, gross, aww cute" is not a conversation, than you have no right in my mind to complain to others who are carrying on a conversation. If you don't agree wit hthe content and it bothers you enough, then leave.

A clear sign of inmaturity, is when something like that does bother you, and all you do is stay, complain, and make un needed comments that are completely illrelevant, ( i know i spelled that wrong) unwelcomed and and pointless and just annoying.

That itself is inmaturity[/quote]

That is a little peace of history, on that faithful day in 2004. Peace to everyone! . . . .

also notice "inmaturity" written twice.

the powtaz valentine special will be right back...

Funky_EsterMan · Has No Life Joined: 24 Jan 2005 Posts: 413

Feeling lonely? Do you constantly feel as if you will never find that special someone? Do your friends tell you to "get a life"?

Well, cheer up brown-eyes! There's a simple solution to your life woes. I, Garth A. Logan, have devised the ultimate Valentimes day plan to nabb that special someone. I call it Valentimes day, because the TIME is NOW!! Gett off yourr ass and build up the courage to give it a shot at this thing called love. Why, today I asked three girls to be my Valentine....they said yes.

It's best if you ask those OUTSIDE your immediate family. Well, that's all the time I have for now. I'll be back with more tips and tricks to fetch you some hot pelt this day.

Now, back to you Powatz.

LOGAN OUT

stefie-chi · Still very bored Joined: 23 Jan 2005 Posts: 362

i got a valentinse of my boyfriend

Ogrim_Doomhammer · Oldbie Joined: 06 Dec 2004 Posts: 2116

powtaz was that a way of telling me that my comment was unnecesary???
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DG-sama · Moderator Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2294

Valentine's day is for losers.... >.>
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God damn you signature WORK!

SilentSoul92 · Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:23 pm Post subject:

amen, DG. Should this be in spam?

PhunkYMunkY · Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:40 pm Post subject:

Nope I think this is a good point. Herpes is such a bitch and so is that girl who constantly moans at you for giving it to her.. I mean, s**t.. It's not like you raped her, is it? Granted she didn't consciously know we were doing it, but she didn't say no? ...At least the others kicked and scream'd :(

Anyway I think Pow has offered us all a moral to live by.. be sensible about sex. Smile

Funky_EsterMan · Has No Life Joined: 24 Jan 2005 Posts: 413

YES, keep dancing you monkey! Amuse us some more with your silly, vulgar posts!

LOGAN'S HUMOUROUSLY DELIGHTED LARF

Powtaz · Oldbie Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2140

in my day we didnt have sex. we used bannanas and watermelons to pleasure our women, but after all the bannanas and watermellons were taken by natives, we were forced to find an alternative pleasure stcik. having a huge pleasure stick, i volunteered to test drive every woman on earth over the age of 18, and under the age of 26.

women everywhere rejoiced, except a select few who had created magical moving toys instead, these girls created small clans and attended certain colleges. and 28 of them were identical twins.

so have sex responsibly, it would be a pain for ur parents to ask ur doctors to rip off your sexual organs, so um, yah have fun kiddos ;)

sex is bad. the devil created sex as a way of torture, until you reach the age of 20 u should not even think of sex. once u hit 20, sex becomes a gift from Jesus.

PhunkYMunkY · Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:19 am Post subject:

PRAISE THE LORD

Powtaz · Oldbie Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2140

its not the first time Jesus saved my balls.

PhunkYMunkY · Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:25 am Post subject:

He does a great job of keeping the mouth of the goal firmly away from any dangerous balls..

Powtaz · Oldbie Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2140

he sure nailed that one.

omg im going to hell Sad

PhunkYMunkY · Posted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 8:27 am Post subject:

I'll see you there man.. I'll be the one spanking Saddam's lil' ass..

Powtaz · Oldbie Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2140

its ok, i shall send a prayer his way tonight :wub:

Funky_EsterMan · Has No Life Joined: 24 Jan 2005 Posts: 413

Damn monkies

VR_Jay · Very Oldbie Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 2725

[quote="Funky_EsterMan (Gar Logan)"] YES, keep dancing you monkey! Amuse us some more with your silly, vulgar posts!

LOGAN'S HUMOUROUSLY DELIGHTED LARF [/quote]
I enjoy Gray's posts. He is a good humored and light hearted person, and you have no right to insult him in any degree. You, on the other hand, are a mean spirited bigot who simply makes a mockery of himself with each passing post. I believe I speak for this whole site when I say that no one wants you here.

Just so you know, every time you attack someone, I will attack you.

LOGANS ANNOYING ATTITUDE IS A SELF SUPPLEMENTATION FOR HIS OWN DEFICIENCY AS A HUMAN BEING

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Funky_EsterMan · Has No Life Joined: 24 Jan 2005 Posts: 413

Oh, and I'M the bad guy, right? And I guess we're all living in Bazarro World, huh?

That's sweet nectar for ya....

LOGAN'S RUN