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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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:wub: Like it so far!?
[b][u]Silver Fang[/u] [/b]
I woke early the sun was just coming up and shown through the windows of the old two story house. I walked quietly through the mangled hall but before I even go to the bottom of the crooked stairway I heard fathers deep words, as he spoke to Zyph.
No Zyph I couldnt take er with me its way to dangerous.
But Hector the girl tis only six she would be heart broken if you left without her
Ugh, your probably right I guess well leave at sunrise tomorrow.
As soon as they saw me they stopped talking and stared at me with wide eyes. Zyph,her uncle,her fathers little brother,had his head cocked to one side smiling as though I was a child of two she was eight of Vans sake.
Zyph you really need to get that head fixed!
He sneered at that comment from me. He was childish for his age of sixteen so very childish.Un like my oh so serious father but still he is twenty-eight as is that I know.
I scrunched up my nose and stuck my tongue out at him, he did the same. He walked out the door but before he left he said, Remember Hector, tomorrow.
Kiger there is breakfast for you in the kitchen after you are done come to the Baskent.
I put my head down daring not to look at him for the women in the villages said it was unrespectable to look a man in the eyes when you talk to him. Which for little girls this should cost them four switches against the bottom.
Yes SirI said grimly.
He shook his head and knelled down so our heights met.
Kiger,he said sternly,I hate when you do not speak to me with the sweet voice you had before Mother died what tis the matter?
The fact was it was not that but what the heck .I looked him straight in the eyes and said, Today is my birthday isnt it?
He stuttered for a moment counting the months
Uh yes why yes it is
Then Im not hungry. And you know Im not greedy Father but wheres it at, wheres my present?
I made him suffer till he spit it out, Uh come with me.
What did he have for me......at first he said he wanted me to come to the Baskent which would be the best place for giving me my present but he stuttered when I asked him!?
We came to the stepping stones Father walked across while I jumped from one stone to the next my shoulder length dark red hair getting in my mouth and hair
The Baskent was a huge pool-type area but in the middle was a sort of a gazebo. It mas made of marble as were the small stepping stones used on three sides to get to the gazebo the fourth side, with no stones over looked the beautiful Alcomeno Ocean. But the best part was the fact that the whole Baskent was surrounded by six feet of blue spring water. On hot summer days Father would even let me swim in it.
He stared at me with sharp blue eyes. And smiled, well actually it was really a smirk Father never smiles.
Kiger you have the same hair as your Mother. You know today would have been her birthday too.
I know Father.
I already knew my Mother and I had the same birthday, why is he saying this? I bet he misses her she only died a year ago.
He just smirked and walked over to a black leather bag it was small but she could see something round in it something egg-shaped. And that it was an egg it was pretty big but not as big as she imagined.
Kiger this is a Couget egg
Uh, whats a Courgat?
A Couget, Kiger its a type of Dragon and he is mighty well ready to hatch but he can only hatch in the hands of a gifted young child. At lest thats what Cairin told me hes a tamer of dragons he said you would be perfect and if this little guy doesnt hatch hell die.
Really, and....
Hes your new pet here
He put the silver egg in her hands and they both stared at it. It moved slightly then shook moving back and forth first slow than rapidly. Kiger was about to drop it when her father cupped his hands under hers. It cracked straight in half then the egg shell disappeared. All that lay in her hands was a small furry dragon, curled up in a circle as much as he could squeeze.
He looked like a weasel with silky white fur, he had small stubs on the back of his head, probably soon to be horns, and on each side of his Weasel head was long whiskers, but there was only one on each side. He was so adorable.
So Kiger whats his name!?
Uh name...Haku should suite him!
Haku sounds wonderful!
What do we do now!?
Lets see if we can get Haku out into the open shall we?
We went into the large yard it was empty besides two trees, an Ash that went sky high, and a over-sized maple. I poked the little guy hard in the side. He raised his small head and we stared at each other. He wobbled over to me and crawled in my lap.
He seems to be taking a liking to you kiger.
Uh-huh.
Just then a small drop of rain landed in Fathers bluish black hair.
Wed better be going in Kiger
I wrapped my arms around Haku. He curled up against my belly. He was so very warm.
When we got inside Zyph was already back. He smiled at the site of Haku.
I see the squirt was actually gifted, amazing!
Zyph why are you back you just left ten minutes ago?
I forgot the girl had a birthday, I guess
Right
I sat on the old grey couch with Haku wrapped around my neck. Father and Zyph walked through the sliding door into the kitchen closing it behind them.
I bet theyre going to talk about me, Haku.
Haku responded with a deep purr in his throat just like a joyful kitten. He climbed down my arm and onto my lap where he rolled over on his back. I gently stroked his belly.
After about six minutes Father and Zyph walked into the living room. They looked at me deeply. Zyph sat beside me, Haku scampered over to him sniffing his arm making sure it was safe for him to sit by his master. Father put his hand through his black hair, pacing back and forth. Just then a sudden blast came from the ocean, cause Haku to stumble over and curl up in my lap.
We have to leave now there is no time!were Fathers only response to the blast.
Kiger get what you seriously need, understand.
But Fath...
Go now!
His voice was hard and cruel now. Something was very wrong now.
I went into my room trying to decide what to take. I pulled open my gunnysack backpack inside I put two outfits, my kimono, which I toke because mother made it for me, and my last outfit she ever made, a shirt with long baggy selves, at the shoulders it cut showing a tiny bit of skin. The shirt was red with gold rims as were the pants, the shirt buttoned up.
Also I grabbed Haku and struggled as I tried to push him down in the sack. I then put my Chinese Dragon around my neck it was very valuable, it was made of gold and the dragon was covered with diamonds its eyes were made of sapphires it reminded me of Haku.
I heard the harsh voice of Zyphs horse as he tried to pull himself together after another blast, I went to my window, Zyph patted the horses neck in encouragement. Zyph yelled something at Father but the now raging storm was too restless to hear their words. Zyph pulled on the chestnut horses reins and they were gone into the forest all there was left to see was the hoof prints in the sloshing mud filling up with rainwater.
Kiger, hurry now!
Im hurrying Father I really am.
I heard a hard sigh as he rushed up the stairs.
We dont need anything!
But you said to get important things now did...
Were wasting time just grab Haku and come on we only have a couple hours now hurry!
I had no idea were and why we were leaving. But it seemed really important to Father to leave as soon as possible. I grabbed the terrified Haku and rushed down the stairs.
But Father my clothes theyll be ruined.
Were leaving now, get going!
I cant I have to stay.
Father was angry now he picked me up off the ground, and pulled my head against his strong chest. He pulled open the cherry-wood door, the wind was raging and horrible. It was worse getting into the storm than looking out a window at it. Domeik, Fathers black stallion with white hooves and mane was standing at our front gate. He was as loyal as any dog and more courageous as any human, demon, or lion.
He looked at us with big brown eyes. And trotted over as though nothing was happening.
Father looked me in the eyes then threw me on the horses back, he then propped himself on Domiek wrapping one hand around my belly. Leaning over me he grabbed the reins and slammed his foot hard in Domiek side.
We must have been riding for ages, I couldnt tell I had fell asleep, Fathers body protecting me from the hard, mean storm.
When I woke it took me a while to figure out were I was, I soon noticed I was a large hollowed out Willow tree trunk it must have to be six hundred years old! Haku was curled up in my hands. Apparently the storm had stopped, Domiek was outside the old tree his legs tucked under him, fast asleep. Father was by a huge lake washing his face off, the lake glistened in the new day sunlight it was so pretty. I yawned and starting to walk toward him, my bones ached, I was too used to sleeping in a nice cozy bed.
Father wiped his hands on his pants and actually smiled at me,Kie how did you sleep, dear?
Fine were are we?
About sixty miles from home, we were riding all night.
Were did Zyph go?
I met up with him hes fine.
I guess I actually did care about Zyph. This was a first.
Hes still asleep in that tree he slept beside you all night.
I walked over to the tree and walked in and sure enough Zyph was fast asleep. I walked out and slumped down beside Father.
Are we ever going to go home Father?
He just looked down and shook his head. Haku ran out of the tree and stiffed him, then jumped in his lap, opened his small mouth wide to get a good yawn and drifted away in a sleepy trance.
Father wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
Aw, so cute a little girl and her daddy how sweet!
Apparently Zyph had woke up.
Zyph go away,was all I could say to the fool. Zyph was always in my fathers business.
You heard the girl ,Zyph, go away!
Zyph rolled his eyes and walked over to his chestnut horse.
A gust of wind hit my face, it burned like a white hot needle. I curled up against Father.
Cold isnt it?
Uh-huh!
Come on Kie.
He picked Haku up off of his lap and gave him to me. Then picked me up, holding me against his chest. I heard a low growl apparently Father had heard it too he put Haku and me down,Stay! was his command.
Father walked over to the growling before he could even get to the trees a creature jumped out from behind the trees and gave a low growl at Father.
This beast was a demon. At first it gave an appearance of being a friendly centaur, humans with the body of a horse. But this was just plain out ugly, its horse body was huge but at the same time it was skinny showing its ribs and shoulder blades the human part was demon for sure it was a grayish color its head was dog-like but a dog with a long muzzle.
Zyph noticed the creature at once, but stared at it speechless, his face white with horror.
Father ran over to Haku and me and picked us up. He almost fell to the ground but got back to balance and pushed me over onto Domieks leather saddle.
He was about to ride off when he noticed the petrified Zyph standing face to face with the Demon centaur.
Father shook his head in anger, Zyph get out of there now!
Zyph just stood there, Go get, leave me here save Kiger and yourself you dont need me for this journey Ill just get in the way as I always do. Ill distract it while you flee.
Before anyone could say anything to convince Zyph that he should get away the Demon centaur pulled a reaper from his backslash, its handle was long and as tall as he was, the syth was curved and had a double blade the other blade had to indents in it.
Zyph still didnt move. The Demon held the reaper over his bony shoulder and it clashed into Zyphs belly.
Zyph fell to the ground and held his belly. Father jumped off the horse and ran to Zyphs side. But before he could even make it there the Demon smacked the end of the reaper against his face. Father fell to the ground, unconscious.
The Demon looked over at me and gave a low growl. He walked slowly over to where Domiek and I were. Many thoughts came into my mind as he approached , Everything is over already? My eight years are up? I only got eight years? This is it. My life was pointless. Only eight years? Thats all I get?
Just then a rustle came from the edge of the clearing. Another Demon came out snaring at the centaur.
This Demon was amazing he had the body of a young man about Zyphs age, about his height too. But his ears were pointed and he had fangs too large for his mouth they stuck out about two inches, the rest of his teeth were pointed. He also had a large bushy white fox tail the same color as his hair which both had thin lines of black running vertically through. And I also noticed he had pointed claws which replaced his finger nails and also his toenails which were visible since he wore no shoes.
This Demon sprinted over to the centaur and struck him hard in the leg. The centaur stubbled to the ground not able to get up from his broken leg. The Demon grabbed a dagger from his sash and slashed at the centaurs body causing many wounds. Soon the centaur couldnt take any more and he vanished in a cloud of black smoke.
The Demon put his dagger in place and walked over to me. I pulled Haku closer to me.
He looked at me with wide eyes, Its o-Kay, the demon is gone now.
I looked at his friendly face, You saved me! Why would you do that?
You are no harm to me that centaur though was killing many others.
Unable to find the words to say I finally remembered Father and Zyph.
He hurt my Father and uncle could you please help me?
Sure Im very good at mending wounds. By the way my name is Calien.
I looked over at Zyph he was still holding his belly weeping in pain.
Hurry Calien you must help my uncle Zyph!
Weldo!
Calien fixed Zyph up well. Haku and I were sitting by him my head leaning against his bare chest. Calien also helped Father with ease he ripped apart Zyphs shirt, dipped it in the lake water and held it to Father head. |
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Funky_EsterMan Has No Life

Joined: 24 Jan 2005 Posts: 413
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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[b][i]I haven't actually finished reading it yet, but from what I did read it's pretty good. Aside from the common english errors, it's coherent...could stand a wee bit more work, though. How old are you? Depending on your level of schooling, it might be understandable and overlooked.
I was also wondering, is this Van person playing the role of Jesus Christ in this piece? I only ask because i noticed you said, "she's only eight for Van's sake"....which is something that harkens to the saying of, "for Christ's sake".
all in all, I think it's pretty good, and very original.
BRAVA![/i][/b] |
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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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Um 12 in June and yes......I don't think anyone will even want to notice since I'm so young but still I love writing!My English teacher is going to help make it better tomorrow! |
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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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apparently you don't care another f***ing idiot unless you can prove me wrong Logan! |
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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:17 pm Post subject: |
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apparently you don't care another f***ing idiot unless you can prove me wrong Logan! |
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jhonenfreak Elder In Training

Joined: 28 Jan 2004 Posts: 3306 Location: Tallahassee
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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Please do not double post, or triple post for that matter. Also, fanfiction and/or original fiction has it's own catagory. This section is only for published matterial. _________________ [url=http://starrust.com][img]http://starrust.com/images/linksout/starrust2.gif[/img][/url] |
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PhunkYMunkY Site Helper

Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 7772 Location: windmillz 'n' keyfists, yo'
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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*sigh* I did say so but Logan always knows better |
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eclipsedmoongoddess482 Elder In Training

Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 3703
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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[quote] *sigh* I did say so but Logan always knows better [/quote]
I never have said this before but I'll say it now. Yes, in this case, Logan does know better.
Its a good story for something written by someone your age. Keep working on it. It has some great potential. _________________ Vaccum cleaners may look fun, but are deadly sex toys. as are certain vegetables like, terri schiavo -Powtaz |
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PhunkYMunkY Site Helper

Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 7772 Location: windmillz 'n' keyfists, yo'
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah...
But the posting in the actual 'books' category was wrong. |
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eclipsedmoongoddess482 Elder In Training

Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 3703
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:48 pm Post subject: |
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I know. I just overlooked it. I wasn't sure if it was Spam-worthy or not.
_________________ Vaccum cleaners may look fun, but are deadly sex toys. as are certain vegetables like, terri schiavo -Powtaz |
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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:51 pm Post subject: |
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Spam-worthy?! I wanted a good opinion so I didn't post in fan fiction anyway I know none of you even read it ! |
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eclipsedmoongoddess482 Elder In Training

Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 3703
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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[quote]Spam-worthy?! I wanted a good opinion so I didn't post in fan fiction anyway I know none of you even read it ! [/quote]
Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down missy. I just meant that if all you wanted was Logan's opinion then it really has no place in the Books section. It should be in Spam where Logan would still read it and tell you what he thought. Its no big deal.
And who's to say I didn't read it? Didn't read my first post? I said it has a lot of potential. Appreciate a compliment when you get one kid because they don't come everyday. _________________ Vaccum cleaners may look fun, but are deadly sex toys. as are certain vegetables like, terri schiavo -Powtaz |
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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 5:58 pm Post subject: |
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I hate being called a kid!!!Oh and by the way Logan said he's rather read it here! <_<
Read!?http://www.fanart-central.net/forums/index.php?showtopic=10273&st=0
[u][b]LOGAN[/b]:[/u]are you wanting to "try" me, on a serious level here, Gray? If you want to match wits then I'm game for it. The only person that could ever take me on on a serious level here was Will.
I don't think you've got the grapes to even try, nor do I think you'd want to. Lets not forget whose on a higher learning ground here...
and again Kiger, let's take this to the book section like we WERE doing inn the first place |
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SilentSoul92 Elder In Training

Joined: 24 Sep 2004 Posts: 3100 Location: Lala land *hums*
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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yesh, if nothing else, work on your attitude. Don't go shouting at people. sigh, put this in the fanfic or spam section then I'll tell you what I think about it |
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PhunkYMunkY Site Helper

Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 7772 Location: windmillz 'n' keyfists, yo'
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 6:15 pm Post subject: |
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Logan is WRONG
Hello?? You like to read, right? You can seem to follow instructions, I see?
TAKE THIS TO FANFICTION!
It isn't hard.
A mod shall do this soon enough anyway.
Why can't people NOT freak out over the smallest thing??
..Die. |
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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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There ya go it'll end up there anyway! |
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Funky_EsterMan Has No Life

Joined: 24 Jan 2005 Posts: 413
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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[b][i]...you know what, you people REALLY PISS me the HELL off!
don't you idiots DARE attack Kiger for this. When she initially posted this in the Spam section, it was either ignored by you members or looked at as strange and "stupid" on her part. I was the ONLY person, as it appeared to me, to actually take the time to READ what it was she typed.
Unlike you guys, i take my time to read long posts and such, since I have the tendancy of being a long written poster myself.
I don't give a DAMN if this topic is moved, i'm still gonna tell her what I think about her work, seeing as she took the time to type it in.....it's the LEAST I can do, to show my appreciation.
you dirty fuckers only responded THIS TIME around, because she typed my name in the header for the topic......and it makes me SICK!
AWAY WITH YOU ALL!! You don't know how to appreciate ANYTHING!
In other news, Kiger, I still think this is decent stuff....overlooking what I said previously. Theres only so much I can say about this; I'm still trying to get a feel for the story.....and where the hell it's going.
so far, I like what I read.....even though I read THIS already...you just changed a few words....I WANT A NEW PIECE!
LOGAN'S RUN[/i][/b] |
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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 6:31 pm Post subject: |
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:wub:
Wow |
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PhunkYMunkY Site Helper

Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 7772 Location: windmillz 'n' keyfists, yo'
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Posted: Sun May 22, 2005 7:36 pm Post subject: |
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As I keep saying; this WOULD be reviewed and appreciated in the fanfiction section. A thread in spam directing people to check the thread in fanfiction would have been enough for you to get some review up of your.. whatever. Piece. And as I said in the spam topic; presentation is a vital part of having people read your work..
Underlined and italicised (? lol) is pretty painful to read when applied to a vast amount of text.. Keep the formatting to a minimum when it comes to a story and more people would be inclined to read.
I will read this and give a review when I can read it. :)
Appreciation, respect and patience should be a reward for appreciation, respect and patience. |
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Alagaesia1silverfang Still very bored

Joined: 02 Feb 2005 Posts: 282
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Posted: Mon May 23, 2005 4:01 am Post subject: |
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You really get on my nerves Gray you try to be smart but ya ain't! |
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