Redneck Jokes.

[Mountain_Dewroo]

Um, What about that airline food?










Whats with that stuff?









[img]http://www.bonnieslimoges.com/music/drums.jpg[/img]

[Brianhjh]

You're a republican if you have more guns than your daughters, however, you're a redneck-republican if you lost count on both.


:)
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[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v233/Brianhjh/emesprani151.gif[/img] "Sarah's future makes me sad." - Benk

[Mountain_Dewroo]

nock, knock
Whos there.
You might be a redneck if you think tobacco is a vegetable.
You might be a redneck if you think tobacco is a vegetable who?
I thought this was a redneck joke.
Nope. Its a knock, knock joke.
Oops.

[Dogss]

ha

I actually thought that was funny

Im lame.
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Mohawks are beautiful sculptures

[Dogss]

Wow everyone has a title but me. ;_;
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Mohawks are beautiful sculptures

[Mountain_Dewroo]

If you think i'm 1337. ^_^

[Dogss]

i DONT
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Mohawks are beautiful sculptures

[Pyrodragon125]

You might be a redneck if you spam the s**t out of every section in the forums with the same ONE SENTENCE you know how to incoherantly post. Spell check is not your friend.

[dragonclaw]

if you're flaming the guy who started this, LAY OFF HIM. Hes trying to get closer to fellow FAC members, so at least try to be nice to him. DUDE. <_<

[Brianhjh]

You haven't seen his posts have you? all of his posts were just oozing with noobiness. Refer to the closed thread in the philosophy section.
_________________
[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v233/Brianhjh/emesprani151.gif[/img] "Sarah's future makes me sad." - Benk

[dragonclaw]

I suppose his posts were noobie, but hes trying to meet some people. its how i started, too, except, with zim and JTHM, not uh.........Rednecks.

[celestina67]

Once you're labelled a noob...there's no turning back... okay,I'm exaggerating.

[KISSarmy76]

Great jokes people keep it up. Remeber you can tell any joke you want. Even if its not a redneck joke because were all here to have fun. You Might Be A Redneck If you're related to the stripper at you bachelor party.

[DragonicFlames]

Lol I live in Redneck country and they are friggin proud to be rednecks.

10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer



10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive).
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is...

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

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Redneck Medical Terms



Artery: The study of paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Barium: What doctors do when patients die.
Benign: What you be after you be eight.
Catscan: Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.
Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome.
Colic: A sheep dog.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
D&C: Where Washington is.
Dilate: To live long.
Enema: Not a friend.
Fester: Quicker than someone else.
Fibula: A small lie.
Genital: Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series: World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff: A Doctor's cane.
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.
Node: I knew it.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Ovaries: You get to try again.
Pap Smear: A fatherhood test.
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative: A letter carrier.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Pretty near killed him.
Secretion: Hiding something.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Tablet: A small table.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor: More than one.
Urine: Opposite of you're out.
Varicose: Near by/close by
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Things Rednecks Will Never Say



I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Duct tape won't fix that.
Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
Wrestling's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my gut is too big?
I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, we don't need another dog.
Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Checkmate.
She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
You ALL.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.
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[img]http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b362/Dragonicflamesfac/DFsig2.jpg[/img]
[u]Thank You, Layz :heart:[/u]

[KISSarmy76]

Funny.
Redneck Home and Garden.
1.A major appliance.
2.A motor hanging from a tree.
3. an oil pan still full.
4.a pair of mens underwear.
5.chickens (live)
6.half a motorcycle
7.more then twelve tires.
8.a deer carcass.
9.corrugates metal.
10.a car door.
11.coffe can flower pots.
12.crime scene tape
14.pile of gravel.
15.fish skulls(not alive)
16. past due bills.
17.one hunting boot.
18.the front door.
19.tv dinner trays.
20.pink plastic flamingos with the heads shot off.