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unfocused Moderator

Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 6983 Location: Texas
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 1:24 am Post subject: |
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can be original or something you stole from a real comedian...whatever... just make it funny _________________ "edit : i luv james" - Layzcarter |
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LunaticCrow Elder In Training

Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Posts: 3817 Location: up Fayore's skirt, riding in her catbus ;D
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 2:54 am Post subject: |
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One of my best lines (I think) was from one of my rants on a friend's Advent Children picture
"Advent Children will be pwned by Weather man and then doubled pwned by Snakes on A Plane, and then the two [Snakes on a Plane and Weather man] will bare knuckle fight until one of them becomes the ruler of the floating island."
I own the movies.
EDIT: OH AND THIS
"r them thar gifts them movin' jaypegz?"
MAN I COULD SO BE IN TECH SUPPORT _________________ [img]http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c296/lunaticcrow/goodnight.jpg[/img] |
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KeheiZero Elder In Training

Joined: 13 Dec 2004 Posts: 3537 Location: Scotland
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:11 am Post subject: |
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"Doesn't matter what happened. You come into work with a bandage on your wrist and what does everyone say? Wanker's cramp."
"Do I care about the environment? Me? I'd shag the hole in the ozone layer." _________________ "You know what? My squirrel instinct tells me he's even more of a bastard than I first thought." - Gene Hunt |
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Sephir0th666777 Elder In Training

Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Posts: 3168 Location: *insert witty location here*
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:44 am Post subject: |
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Look at my sig.
That is all. _________________ [img]http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y148/Sephir0th666777/mercy.jpg[/img]
Red_Quatre:Who's the guy that says "Get over here!" and then grabs you.
Blad: A rapist |
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unfocused Moderator

Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 6983 Location: Texas
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:49 am Post subject: |
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[quote="KeheiZero (Craig)"] "Doesn't matter what happened. You come into work with a bandage on your wrist and what does everyone say? Wanker's cramp."
"Do I care about the environment? Me? I'd shag the hole in the ozone layer." [/quote]
that fuckin sent me rollin! _________________ "edit : i luv james" - Layzcarter |
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Paru Forum Scalleywag

Joined: 13 Mar 2004 Posts: 932 Location: The land of Soybeans
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 5:02 am Post subject: |
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So...what about that airline food, huh? Huh, huh? _________________ a jelly calypso castle in the sky |
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Beatlechick90 Forum Stalker

Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 1479 Location: nowhere
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:23 am Post subject: |
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"When you get fired, just throw glitter on your boss. It's the ultimate revenge. They can never get it all off, no matter how hard they try. Sure, you losy your job, but they have to go around all day with people asking them, 'what'd you do? blow a clown?'" _________________ [url=http://dollyrockersinc.piczo.com][img]http://pic.piczo.com/img/i122379787_59088_3.gif[/img][/url] |
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unfocused Moderator

Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 6983 Location: Texas
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:31 am Post subject: |
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lmfao!
blow a clown! _________________ "edit : i luv james" - Layzcarter |
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VR_Jay Very Oldbie

Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 2725
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 7:02 am Post subject: |
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A bunch of stand up comedians did a special at my college. I was in the front row, and one of the guys asked the audience who was a fine art major? I immediately stood up and everyone started cheering and the comedian took a swig of his beer and said "Yeah, good fuckin luck with that one. I was fine arts major, so this is what you have to look forward to. Sit down you little s**t."
He then ripped on me for the next 20 minutes, asking me such things as if I ate on a regular basis, how comfortable I was with giving sexual favors in return for food/money, if I had a thing for being poor, and (more than once) if I was gay. ^_^
_________________ [img]http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y47/VR_Jay/Anti_Commecial_Banners_by_Nevar530.jpg[/img] [img]http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y47/VR_Jay/th_myvsweetkiss1xc.gif[/img]
[color=black]"Your toast is burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff!" ~ Caboose, Red vs. Blue[/color] |
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unfocused Moderator

Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 6983 Location: Texas
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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j00 got pwned by a comedian? jahahahajajahah! _________________ "edit : i luv james" - Layzcarter |
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Inu-chan_rox_mah_sox Has No Life

Joined: 10 Jul 2005 Posts: 452
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 12:52 pm Post subject: |
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You can lose a pair of expensive sunglasses faster than you can say "What the hell!?!" but you buy a pair of cheapos, you're stuck with 'em. You could be leaning over the side of a ship, your cheapos fall in, and some scuba diver pops up shouting "Someone lose a pair of sunglasses? Found a pair of cheapos, floatin' to the bottom! Anyone?" |
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MedalMask Forum Stalker

Joined: 01 Mar 2005 Posts: 1765 Location: saten's asshole
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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I wonder if this is funny, I've been saying it for a bit...
here's a story....about a man, and a boy
Bend down! said the man. I'm already bend down, I can't go any further, said the boy.
I'd win a millionj bucks to see someone who gets this joke. :ph34r: _________________ Wyat Fucking Earp! |
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slavetotheWALL Forum Stalker

Joined: 06 Mar 2005 Posts: 1321
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Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 5:29 pm Post subject: |
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I'm jewwwwwww............ ish
Even if you do win the Special Olympics your still a retard
"Women is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man"- Ulysses Everet McGill
Why watch a movie about an escaped convict when you can become an escaped convict
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Mountain_Dewroo Forum Stalker

Joined: 05 Jul 2004 Posts: 1274
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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This good old, "your friends won't get this cuz' thier not a member of FAC" line of worder,
[b]I'm Fallen, and I can't get up in the morning.[/b] |
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unfocused Moderator

Joined: 17 Jul 2004 Posts: 6983 Location: Texas
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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thats one of my favorite lines! _________________ "edit : i luv james" - Layzcarter |
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Mountain_Dewroo Forum Stalker

Joined: 05 Jul 2004 Posts: 1274
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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I can tell. ^_^ |
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MedalMask Forum Stalker

Joined: 01 Mar 2005 Posts: 1765 Location: saten's asshole
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 4:14 pm Post subject: |
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I got this from a friend, and he takes stuff off from other comedians, but here it goes.
What can four gay guys do with one stool? Flip it upside down. _________________ Wyat Fucking Earp! |
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Stratadrake Elder Than Dirt

Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 13721 Location: Moo
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 4:24 pm Post subject: |
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Hmm... are you on to something, or just plain [i]on[/i] something? _________________ Strata here: [url=http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/242293]Nanowrimo[/url] - [url=www.fanart-central.net/user-Stratadrake.php]FAC[/url] - [url=http://stratadrake.deviantart.com]dA[/url] - [url=www.furaffinity.net/user/Stratadrake/]FA[/url]
[size=9]Disclaimer: Posts may contain URLs. Click [url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife]at your own risk.[/url][/size] |
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MedalMask Forum Stalker

Joined: 01 Mar 2005 Posts: 1765 Location: saten's asshole
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Posted: Wed Nov 09, 2005 4:46 pm Post subject: |
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No. _________________ Wyat Fucking Earp! |
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Powtaz Oldbie

Joined: 31 Dec 1969 Posts: 2141
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Posted: Tue Nov 15, 2005 10:55 am Post subject: |
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if she's old enouh to pee, she's good enough for me.
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