Why Wiccans Suck

VR_Jay · Very Oldbie Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 2725

((I found this great article that I thought you all should read. Hey, I'm only doing this because you do (uh oh, can someone say "rule of three?"). Remember: If you just post an angry smart-ass reply without even reading this first, I've already won. Wink

))

The time has come when I can hold my tongue no longer.

Every day I see "Wiccans" defile the religion of Wicca, just as "Christians" have defiled Christianity.

I used to be Wiccan. Used to be. It's important to note that I moved on to other things a few years ago. And below are a few of the reasons why I left.

Read, take heed, and honestly ask yourself if you are part of the problem.

[b]Immaturity [/b]

"Christianity sucks. I quit." So, you want to rebel? You might consider a complete 180, right down to devil-worship and black magic... but you don't have the guts to go that far, since you're still secretly terrified of going to Hell. Hey, Wicca is perfect! It's actually not that evil, but your family doesn't know that. You can creep everyone out and keep your soul safe at the same time!

"Look at me, I'm a witch!" That oh-so-dangerous leap out of the broom closet, which usually occurs within the first week you buy a book about Wicca. You want to let everyone know about your change of religion, for some godawful reason, especially parents and authority figures. Religious beliefs can't possibly live quietly inside of your own head, they have to be shared! (But you aren't pushy about it, oh no... don't you just hate those Jehova's Witnesses?) You don your little pentacle necklace and wear it in public, just -itching- for someone to walk up to you and start an argument. Then you'll be able to correct them about dozens of things you've learned word-for-word.... ("Male witches aren't called warlocks!") Oh! Don't you just love the attention you get?

If you don't want to step out of the broom closet, there are still various ways to stick a toe out the door for each of the people you want to impress and/or frighten. (Like wearing your pentacle -under- your shirt, on a short chain, so it'll slide into view if you shift just right. Or you can wear gothed- or hippied-out clothing and say "Oh, Goddess!" every five minutes. Or you can call your cat a familiar and your cookbook a grimoire [accidentally, of course] ...the list goes on.)

"Better not tick me off..." Sure, very few "Wiccans" would actually say this, but there are plenty who will gladly imply it. And they'll bind someone they don't like without a second thought -- always to something "for their own good" so that whole threefold thing doesn't apply.

By the way, did you know that the Wiccan threefold law applies to everyone, whether Wiccan or not? And at the same time, Wiccans won't go to Hell because they don't believe in one.

"Wicca is a peaceful, tolerant religion... compared to, say, Christianity." Soon you figure out that you can insult your religious supressors (who are all secretly out to get you) and feel holier-than-thou at the same time! You can blame them for everything from the Inquisition to teenage pregnancy. Impress a group of Wiccans [by saying that you were born on October 31, or that a ghost lives in your house, or that you can see auras (which you secretly suspect might be retinal burn)] and suddenly you're lifelong friends who all have something in common... Christian-bashing. And now when the kids at school make fun of you, it's not because you're fat, ugly, shy, wear braces/glasses, or are part of the wrong clique... it's because they're religiously intolerant, those unenlightened fools.

"It's a witch thing. You wouldn't understand." You get to feel oh-so-self-righteous by knowing all the little nuances of the unseen world (even though you can't tell us anything about the Qabalah, the Goetia, or the aethyral heirarchy). Your advanced state of enlightenment usually consists of a whole lot of preaching about "balance of light and dark," "karma," "harm none," and anything else that makes you feel more holy than those plebeian mundanes. I cannot count how many times I've asked a Wiccan a question that ended up in a long string of conversation designed to find out if I'm "worthy to know that"....

Do you have a surplus of rose petals and red candles? Get a clue. There's a reason you don't have a boyfriend, and it sure ain't the quality of your spells. Try dying your hair back to its natural color. Lower your nose and stop preaching. Try smiling for once (smirking doesn't count).

The "witchier-than-thou" complex. Soon after you become a witch, you ask your mother, "Has anything weird ever happened to you?" And she'll tell you about the time she thought Uncle Herbert was going to call, and, five minutes later, he did! "Aha!" you'll think, "It's genetic!" In a burst of clarity, you suddenly realize that your mother was a repressed witch; your grandmother was a witch; your great-grandmother got burned at the stake in the Salem Witch Trials; and your other relatives were all Celtic, so you should probably start wearing those nifty knotwork rings.

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Kaiser_Envoy_of_The_End · Posted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 9:43 pm Post subject:

I actually agree, they live in a make-believe world until someone has to smack them in the head and wake them up to face the real world.
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Ogrim_Doomhammer · Oldbie Joined: 06 Dec 2004 Posts: 2116

I won't read... yet Smile

I'm too tired... Sad

Although I want to read DF's response....
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MrRobert · Newb Joined: 20 Feb 2006 Posts: 24

Didn't read all that, but I hope you included, "all other relgions are fuckign stupid, too."

It'll save you some time later on.

Edit: Religions, cults, beliefs, whatever.

VR_Jay · Very Oldbie Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 2725

I've already won.
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MrRobert · Newb Joined: 20 Feb 2006 Posts: 24

Cool, I didn't like those Wiccans much.

Hawk4444 · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 12:23 am Post subject:

BURN TEH WITCH :angry:

witch-women AWAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

as they swoop around on there broom. i know how they stay on the broom so well too. Wink

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Paru · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 1:20 am Post subject:

Why do you keep getting away with posting this s**t in general discussion?
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VR_Jay · Very Oldbie Joined: 13 Apr 2004 Posts: 2725

[quote]Why do you keep getting away with posting this s**t in general discussion? [/quote]
Don't know, this is the first time I've done it, to my knowledge.

[quote="Hawk4444 (hawk)"] BURN TEH WITCH :angry:

witch-women AWAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

as they swoop around on there broom. i know how they stay on the broom so well too. Wink

[/quote]
Hawk, just... don't.
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DragonicFlames · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:06 am Post subject:

LMAO! I love that website. Friggin' Fluffy bitches. >/ That's right, fluffies. That's exactly what we call bitches like that.

"Oh I'm a natural witch." Bullshit. >/ fuckers! : D Will I wub you. :wub:'s on will.

And you want to know what's funny. Most wiccans don't use witchcraft and therefore do not call themselves witches. lol! "I'm a wiccan therefore I'm a witch."

xD Stupid people. You should see some of the bullshit in the Gaia thread "The Offical Witchcraft Thread" lolz, it would make you die just from laughter alone.

[quote]Although I want to read DF's response.... [/quote]

OOOH So you assume I'm like that? Thanks a whole fucking lot Avy. I don't even OWN a pentogram necklace or call any of my cats "familars" or any of that bullshit.

Just because I wear black shirts means bullshit. I got them from a vender who actually put the dragon/tiger images on them. And I got them big (and now they are super big on me for that whole... dropping a few extra pounds, which i still need more dropped. Jiggly...;_; ) because I don't like being slutty. >/

Breasts and ass poping out everywhere. No thank you. Give me big ol' black/orange shirt and I'll be happy.

lol.. love spells. Another annoying pet peeve of mine. Unless you ask me for my rant, I won't even start with that.
---

Edit: I'm not even wiccan. LOLZ!
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Fade · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:21 am Post subject:

Immaturity should be considered a plague. It's everywhere!
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UltimaMewtwo · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 5:34 am Post subject:

That's what I hate about some people, but I do know some Wiccans that are pretty mature.
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Princessx · Member Joined: 07 Feb 2006 Posts: 88

I love this topic. It made me giggle. My responce..

Wiccans, especially piss me off (along with 'goths.') They think they know everything..but news flash: [b]You[/b] don't. So stop pretending you know everything there is to be a "true" Wiccan. There is no true Wiccan, as well as there is no true anything. Everyone is their own poser. Deal and move on.

Oh, I forgot..

Rebelling. Everyone does it. Smile!

So..[b]stop[/b] pretending something your not.

DragonicFlames · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 6:14 am Post subject:

Princess, there are true wiccans, because wicca is a religion. You join a coven and learn the goddess and god's name. No one is a wiccan before that. And that's what people don't get these days. : ( They are the suck.

And I've said this before. Never assume Goths are those bizatches that run around in the mall pretending to be this or that. No goth would ever call themselves goth. Simple. Go look up... what was that thread... something about the after life in the Philsophy(sp?) Forum. There's a whole discussion on the whole term "Goth".

I hate people who misjudge other people just because of a label. Smile

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ThaKakarot · Oldbie Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 2246

i'd call myself a wicca... but i couldn't really... i like the whole "spells" side of it.. but not much else... i once turned a flame purple... no kidding...
given that i did smoke a lot of pot that day.... but still

:theteach:

DragonicFlames · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 1:19 pm Post subject:

Um yeah thomas... you keep thinking that... : D And the pretty unicorns will come for you to take you away to cake land where your can eat as much gumdrops as you want.
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Ogrim_Doomhammer · Oldbie Joined: 06 Dec 2004 Posts: 2116

I already read.... its not funny Sad

I still don't know how Will gets to post this in GD.....
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ThaKakarot · Oldbie Joined: 18 Mar 2005 Posts: 2246

[quote="DragonicFlames (DF)"] Um yeah thomas... you keep thinking that... : D And the pretty unicorns will come for you to take you away to cake land where your can eat as much gumdrops as you want. [/quote]
but i did ;_;

[quote]I still don't know how Will gets to post this in GD..... [/quote]
cause he's teh hot sex.. and he shows fallen his nipples OWNED.

theWriter · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:04 pm Post subject:

I thought that the article actually pulled some great points. On a psychological note, most of what I read was true. I've seen tons of kids like that at my school and I agree with the arguement completely. Don't get on my ass, but I thought that it was well written overall.

QUESTION?: Yeah, why isn't this in Random?
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fallenangel · Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 4:27 pm Post subject:

Because at some point [i]something[/i] has to be general discussion, and given that this is actually not complete crap and makes valid points, it's as general as general gets.

If it were another of those "lolz teh witchez suxxorz" things, then yeah, random.
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