For the occasional Star Wars Fan

[Emrys]

This is actually something I've been writing off and on, it's not completely finished but I'm thinking about working on it a bit extra pending a critique on what i can fix at the moment

http://www.fanart-central.net/story-18083.html

Can someone take a look, the more critiques the better?
Thanks

[size=7][i]almost forgot... fine print[/i], contains spoilers (obviously) moderate violence and moderate language... i don't think i dropped the f bomb but i did use a few other words for colorful metaphors...[/size]