Top 40 Hairbands List

[fallenangel]

Ok, mostly for Sixx and I, but if anyone else knows enough to pipe in, feel free. It's about VH1's list Top 40 Hairbands.

NOW THEN, Poison rightfully came in at number one. And here is my evidence.

1. They were kings of the strip and were there for the birth of the traditional hair band stereotype. Sure, Def Leppard and Bon Jovi were around before that, but they're really not as "hair band". Def Leppard denies even being one and are excluded from the top spots because of it. They had long hair and played pop metal, but they weren't glam. Bon Jovi were somewhat glam (with the spandex) and Jon certainly had the hair, but their music was not the same glam metal as was being played on the strip. Their music was much more polished and technically focused, despite the cheesy lyrics (the musical skill largely the result of Richie). They were a Jersey band that happened to hit it big with pop metal, NOT a sunset strip hair band.

2. Poison were partial founders of the scene. Back in Pennsylvania they grew up with the likes of Alice Cooper and just wanted to dress in bright colors and make music a show. Before they packed up in a van and drove to Hollywood, they were already glam as hell. When they got there, they took the strip by storm within the first year being the number one live draw.

3. No one worked harder than Poison. They put up more flyers and did more promotion than just about any other band, and it paid off.

Their music is the epitome of sleazy glam rock that may not be technically brilliant, but it's sufficient for the whole goal of hairbands: party. [b]They had more hits than Every Rose.[/b] They had 7 (if not a couple more, but I think the number's 7) top ten hits, Every Rose was just their first number one. Talk Dirty To Me was their first hit, and it was huge. You couldn't turn on the radio back then without hearing a Poison song.

And because they were the most famous, the most hard working, and partial founders of what is considered "hair band", they deserve to be #1.



[b]Bands that could be up for it but are not winners:[/b]

Motley Crue - NOT a hairband. They come in at number four only because they were hairband-esque during the times it was popular (Theatre of Pain album). Other than that, they did their own thing and moved on from punk to hard rock to hairband and on to some of the newer alternative-ish. They can't be a top hairband when they were just evolving with the times and what OTHER people were making popular.

Def Leppard - Not a hairband. They deny it, and it's mostly true. They had the hair and the bubblegum metal, but they weren't glam and were much more of a metal boyband than a hairband. They didn't have the sleazy image.

Cinderella - They're way up there, but they didn't achieve the success or notoriety Poison did. They may have better music, but they weren't a bigger hairband.

Twisted Sister - They were there first, but again, not the top hairband because they barely qualify. Twisted Sister was such a different idea than the pretty boy "man in makeup" idea of the others. The fact they played the strip with similar music and were glam (ugly glam, but glam nonetheless) makes them one, but they aren't the biggest or best by the general features that make a group a hairband.


[b]Disclaimers to all above[/b]

Poison were not the first hairband, nor did they invent glam (duh). Hanoi Rocks were way before them and gave birth to the mix of punk-influenced metal with a glam image. They came in at number 40 because no one knows who the hell they are, and they really never broke through in America to have hits.

Poison are by far one of the worst bands musically. Cinderella, Faster Pussycat, even Warrant have far better technical skills. It's just the other factors of what makes a group the biggest and best that makes Poison number one.

So...nyah. :P


EDIT: By the way, here's the full list


1. Poison
2. Twisted Sister
3. Bon Jovi
4. Motley Crue
5. Cinderella
6. Warrant
7. Quiet Riot
8. Def Leppard
9. Slaughter
10. Dokken
11. Ratt
12. Winger
13. Whitesnake
14. White Lion
15. Great White
16. Lita Ford
17. Skid Row
18. Kiss
19. Britny Fox
20. Scorpions
21. Europe
22. WASP
23. Vixen
24. Firehouse
25. Danger, Danger
26. Mr. Big
27. Stryper
28. LA Guns
29. Trixter
30. Bullet Boys
31. Tesla
32. Saigon Kick
33. Kix
34. Autograph
35. Faster Pussycat
36. Night Ranger
37. Steelheart
38. Jackyl
39. Extreme
40. Hanoi Rocks \ Michael Monroe

2nd EDIT: KISS aren't a hairband either, but VH1 tends to stretch the concept a bit. It was more of a gag listing than a serious rating on that one.
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"I care about people as much as I care about lawn furniture" - Dexter/Michael C. Hall

[eclipsedmoongoddess482]

[quote]Motley Crue - NOT a hairband. They come in at number four only because they were hairband-esque during the times it was popular (Theatre of Pain album). Other than that, they did their own thing and moved on from punk to hard rock to hairband and on to some of the newer alternative-ish. They can't be a top hairband when they were just evolving with the times and what OTHER people were making popular.[/quote]

I understand that they were just being the trend whores that they are but when they did hairmetal, they did it pretty damn good. But I do agree that they don't deserve like number one on that list. Only because they really didn't make huge number one hits until they like strayed away from the glam look and went in a more general metal direction.

[quote]Def Leppard - Not a hairband. They deny it, and it's mostly true. They had the hair and the bubblegum metal, but they weren't glam and were much more of a metal boyband than a hairband. They didn't have the sleazy image.[/quote]

Deff Leppard's music is beyond cheesy anyway. I'd be just as pissed if they got number one.

Cinderella..I would've liked them to be number one. I know it wouldn't be likely but their music was like technically better in terms of music talent. Like the guitar playing is a little better than Poison and while Don't Know What You Got (Till its Gone) isn't as good as Every Rose (yes, I'll admit that much) it certainly was musically better than like Talk Dirty to Me.

Honestly, I think Bon Jovi should've made number one. Because even though they weren't like official glam, they did like set a standard for what hairmetal was and made way for bands like Poison and Cinderella to hit the popular music scene. Without Bon Jovi, you wouldn't be able to get Poison or any other hairband for that matter, onto a Billboard chat even if they paid them.

Bon Jovi had a lot of hits like Poison too (fine, I'll like agree that Every Rose isn't their only hit.) Livin' on a Prayer is a total classic and ballads like Bed of Roses were like almost the blueprints of what a hairmetal power ballad should sound like. They like set those standards and perfected them before Poison and it pretty much got the public ready for Poison and other hairmetal bands.

[quote]2. Poison were partial founders of the scene[/quote]

Partial but not quite. Bon Jovi was glam as hell with their spandex and cloth and rags on their jeans and mic. And yes, Jon did have the hair. He had like hair that could intimidate C.C Deville if he had to. That was some serious metal hair there.


They made hairmetal popular therefore, they should be like number one. Or at least higher than number three.

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[fallenangel]

But Bon Jovi didn't make hair metal popular. They made glam metal/pop metal popular. If you compare the music of Bon Jovi with Poison/Ratt/LA guns they sound nothing alike. Bon Jovi are a technical hair band, but they aren't the best.

This isn't a "biggest band that was a hair band" list. It's the most representative and notorious from the era, and when you think hair band, Poison is almost always the first band people think of because they were so publicized as the "glam slam kings of noise". Bon Jovi were huge, definitely more famous with more fans than Poison. But they weren't always looked at as "oh, that hair band". And that's definitely apparent by their more recent success.

The fact they so easily discard the image but keep the music more or less intact shows how separate the two things were when it came to Jovi. The music stood on its own without seeing the band. Like you can listen to "Livin' On a Prayer" or "You Give Love a Bad Name" and they're just as good as if you saw the music video (and better even, 'cause Jovi's videos always sucked ass).

But with hair bands and certainly the more definitive hair bands, the image is one and the same with the music. You can't separate them or neither of it is any good. The music without the performance is just mediocre musicianship and some party toons that are so-so. But when you see the performance, it's amazing. If you see their pictures without hearing the music, they just look like ugly drag queens. You need both parts to make a good hair band. Jovi just happened to have both parts, but they didn't need the image. That was just the look at the time.

Aaaaand, Bon Jovi are not necessarily the reason Poison hit it big any more than RATT. RATT had them as openers, and RATT certainly hit it big before Poison did (and amusingly enough, RATT opened for Poison about four years ago). But does that mean RATT is a better hair band than Poison just because they made it first and were more popular? Round and Round is a hugely famous song just like all the other "signature songs" by the various bands on the list.

Moreso, Poison is the reason half the bands on that list were signed. No one wanted Poison or any of those groups because they sucked. However, once one label took the chance, and they exploded, all the others rushed out and started signing the Warrants and Danger Dangers. The same thing that happened when Guns N' Roses hit it big, and all the labels rushed out to get Faster Pussycat and the other similar groups still on the trip who weren't playing ultra sappy hair metal.

It really all comes down to their reputation. Bon Jovi don't have a reputation as a hair band nearly as much as Poison does. Bon Jovi is "oh, that band that does ____" or "that band that has the hair". Poison is "that hair band". And Bon Jovi have survived outside their genre (to the point they now disown it, but we've covered that multiple times), Poison have stayed in it and are proud. They've been a hair band for 20 years, only to still be "those fags in makeup".


And yeah, Cinderella being number one would kick ass, but it wouldn't be right. They've got some great tunes and are still on top of their game today, but they just don't compare to Poison. The new '91 concert DVD I just bought that came out this year proves it. They're amazing performers and sound fantastic live, but the show is completely different, just like their music is a higher quality and sometimes more blues/hard rock inspired. Their show was and is much more toned down with less bright colors and pyro. They were a hair band, but not as famous and not as generic.

EDIT: By the way, Jovi's "Bed of Roses" came out 10 years after hair metal hit its peak. It's off their '99 Keep The Faith album.
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"I care about people as much as I care about lawn furniture" - Dexter/Michael C. Hall

[fallenangel]

Just in response to this off the other thread, to keep from going too far off topic on it:

[quote]I like poison... especialy the song that bears a certain resemblence to your user name...[/quote]

Most vocal Poison fans, though, are morons. Because even though they're in their 30s or 40s, they were fans back in their teens. It's the drooly life long fans that run around saying they're the best band ever and are amazingly talented, and that all the "rumors" that have been proven to be true (the fact a couple of their songs are rip offs of other bands, the fact not all Bret's hair is real, the fact they're a cheesy party band no matter how fun they are to listen to, the fact C.C. is a coked up loser still today, the fact they have issues with controlling girls and keeping opening acts away from them, and the list goes on) are just lies made up by "jealous people".

That's why I hate so many Poison fans and can't stand to even look at a Poison devoted forum. They're full of nothing but nutswingers who spend every waking minute kissing ass and behaving just like childish pop fans who can't separate what they like from what is technically good.

I've loved Poison since I was a kid, but I won't run around saying Bret is a vocal god or that C.C.'s a better guitarist than Eddie Van Halen. And unfortunately a lot of Poison fans do that.
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"I care about people as much as I care about lawn furniture" - Dexter/Michael C. Hall

[Sephir0th666777]

Awesome band. Not the greatest, but still has some really nice songs.
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[img]http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y148/Sephir0th666777/mercy.jpg[/img]
Red_Quatre:Who's the guy that says "Get over here!" and then grabs you.
Blad: A rapist

[fallenangel]

That's true, but it doesn't change the fact if you go to Sludge (or god forbid, one of the Poison specific boards), you'll see middle age women with names like Poizngurl or BretsDream saying things like "omg what the hell?! You're all just jealous cuz they're more successful than ul EVER be! Back off, Poison is the best an u know it!!! They didn't steal anythin an u should just shut up cuz u suck and slayer sux, POISON ROXX 4EVER!!!!!"

That's why they're right down there with Green Day fans. Only slightly above 'cause Poison can play their instruments.
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"I care about people as much as I care about lawn furniture" - Dexter/Michael C. Hall

[Sephir0th666777]

[b]QUOTE[/b] (FallenAngel)

That's why they're right down there with Green Day fans. Only slightly above 'cause Poison can play their instruments[/quote] :lol: Wow. So, there are middle aged women who act like 11 year old Green Day fangirls? Wow. That's creepy. I have to go there to start a hate thread just to see these reactions _________________ [img]http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y148/Sephir0th666777/mercy.jpg[/img] Red_Quatre:Who's the guy that says "Get over here!" and then grabs you. Blad: A rapist

[fallenangel]

Oh yeah, lots of them. I was booted off a C.C. group on Yahoo because I commented on the story from last year when he was dragged out of a bar on his stomach with something other than "omg lies!!!!".

I think I wrote something awhile ago about how even though most people grow out of their childhood fanatic phase, some don't. And that's terrifying.

If you want to cause a fuss, try the Yahoo groups. You'll find plenty of delusional morons without causing a scene on one of the boards the actual band members run and annoying them.
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"I care about people as much as I care about lawn furniture" - Dexter/Michael C. Hall