Those Weird Things Your Teachers Say Or Do...

Kiyiya · Last edited by Kiyiya on Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:29 pm; edited 2 times in total

Sometimes those pesky teachers just go a bit crazy with what they say. Oftentimes, I wonder if the years of teaching students have made them go a little crazy...
Anyway! Names of individuals have been edited for their protection!

[u]My Chemistry teacher:[/u]
* "Are you full of excrement?"
* "Remember in kindergarten when you learned to share? Hey, the other guy wants to play with the truck, but so do I...Well, screw him! I want the truck for myself!"
* [Making fun of another student's accent] "Did you know that coook and boook rhyme? Coook Boook! A boook of coooks!"

[u]My History teacher:[/u]
* "Did you hear about the tsunami that hit Tokyo? Yeah, it destroyed the whole city...*chuckles* No, I'm just kiddin'."
* "I wonder where Mr. Doe is?"
(Someone else) "Maybe he's in the bathroom."
"Yeah, unconscious."
(Someone else) "..."
* Any other joke that is in bad taste he probably said.

[u]My French teacher[/u]
* [In my yearbook] "...Try to avoid those murderous tendencies..."

[u]My English teacher[/u] (keep in mind she is a nice old woman in her sixties)
* "I used to read pornographic literature when I was thirteen. We had to get it imported from France." (i.e. [u]Tropic of Capricorn[/u] *shudders*)

Well, those are some quotes from my teachers. What are yours?

NicholasDWolfwood · Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:27 pm Post subject:

I'm sorry to say, but you won't get many replies at this time of the night.
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BlackPaint · Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:12 am Post subject:

then why'd u reply????

my science teacher and math teacher randomly dance during class....
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anime_slacker · Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:58 am Post subject:

My English teacher buys me Reeses.

London · Moderator Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Posts: 6474

One time a kid was out for a week 'cause he's a pro snowboarder or something and had a competition to attend, and he comes back on the day of a test. Since he hasn't been there, my teacher's letting him take the test a week from that day so he has some time to get what he missed and study.

Most of the class gets their test back the next day. A week later, the kid takes the test and gets his back the next day. He looks at it and exclaimes, "65!?"

The teacher says, "I gave you the test a WEEK after everyone else took it, but you still only barely passed?"

"I didn't look at anyone else's test!"

"[b]WHY NOT?[/b]" my teacher roars.

"Is that something a teacher should say?!"

anime_slacker · Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:25 pm Post subject:

The Chemisty Teacher at school learned that he had to give a Semester test.
It came on two seperate peices of paper. One which actually had the test questions on it, and the other was for writing your answers.

He gave everyone the paper for writing their answers and then he gave them the answer key.

He never even gave the class the questions.

Benk · Elder In Training Joined: 28 Jul 2006 Posts: 3733

I had one teacher that was just stupid.
Hm... Example one: She gives us a supply list for our field trip. Six months before we have it. Who expects a bunch of middleschoolers to keep it.
Example two: She brings us down a whole letter grade for not perfectly organizing a binder in the most ridiculous fashion I have ever seen.
Example three: She gives us assignments such as "Color by numbers" and cutting apart paper and making geometric shapes.

dpwashere · Member Joined: 30 Jan 2007 Posts: 86

Chem teacher at my school:
"try giving a girl a chunk of graphite on a ring instead of a diamond...see where that gets you"
"You did all the work right, you just tickled the buttons on your calculator wrong!"

Online english teacher:
"I do not like the tone of your e-mails"

SpasticPenguine · Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 4:27 pm Post subject:

Back when my older brother was in elementary school, his best friend Matt S. beat the shit out of this kid. The Social Studies teacher Mr. G (who is [i]still[/i] working there) took Matt and threw him into the lockers. Than he picked him up off the floor and literally tossed him down the stairs.

In Matt's account of it he says his exact thoughts were this, "Holy shit. I can't believe he's really going to fucking throw me down the stairs."

After he got up, Mr. G sent him to the office. When he got there, the Principal Sr. Pat said, "It comes to my understanding that you intentionally hurt another student."
In reply Matt said, "Mr. G threw me down the stairs."

There was a minute of silence and Sr. Pat was like, "Just go."

It's not as funny reading it in a post as it is hearing this story in real-life. And it's seriously 100% true. Next I will conclude a list of other maniacal activities this teacher enjoys.

1.) He weighs at nearly 300 pounds. He enjoys sitting on students that are still in the 4 foot range until they scream for mercy.

2.) Regularly dumping certain students belongings out the window into the snow on the sidewalk from the second floor window and making them retrieve them.

3.) Sticking his hand down the back of his pants into his underwear while he is writing notes on the board and scratching incessantly.

4.) Freaking out for two-week periods of time every year and ranting about how everyone in the class is a liar and a failure- and how they will never amount to anything more.

The sad part is- he's not even the worst teacher my old school Sad

Kiyiya · Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:25 pm Post subject:

XD All of these are great so far! SpasticPenguine, your teacher sounds very very freaky. I'm glad he isn't in our school... Laughing

London · Moderator Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Posts: 6474

Suddenly reminded me of my elementary school music teacher. He was weird because he liked to look down girl's shirts. He was fired.

Kiyiya · Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:45 pm Post subject:

O.o Er. Well, that is a little creepy...There was a P.E. teacher in our school a couple years ago who liked to put the girls up front when they did jumping jacks...Yeah...

leprecaun12 · Forum Stalker Joined: 22 Sep 2006 Posts: 1151

my teacher which i gladly got out of would sit there and look at porn on the computer and one time he knocked a pencil of his desk just to look at somegirls butt

anime_slacker · Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 9:42 am Post subject:

A student at my school found a lot of porn on one of our teacher's computer too.

punk_Jimmy · Posted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 11:23 am Post subject:

My health teacher gives students Taco Bell if they get 100's on tests. It's ironic.
My social studies teacher was looking in his pocket for his keys, and accidently pulled out a condom in front of the entire class.
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MadeOfGlass · Member Joined: 14 Sep 2006 Posts: 92 Location: Australia

My art teacher called me a sadomasicist...<<That's not true

My chemistry teacher was complaining about a student called bree that wasn't turning up to class and angrily said 'what kind of mother would name their daughter after a cheese anyway!!!'.. i guess we found it funny cause we all hate her

the same teacher called my sister and her friends bastards after yelling at them for walking past his classroom.

A health teacher that I haven't seen for a while apparantly held a plastic banana at his genital region and got a male student to put a condom on it. I didn't see this happen but a friend of mine was in that class and told me about it.

The school nurse was telling us that condoms have little chance of breaking, she went to stretch one in her hands to show us they are strong and it broke right before us.

Throttle · Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 11:07 pm Post subject:

My math teacher hates the whole class.

Math teacher said:
[quote]I've decided to let you all pass to the next grade even though you are STUPID and all deserve F's! I just don't wanna see your dumb faces anymore![/quote]
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Kiyiya · Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 7:47 am Post subject:

O.o Wow...

MadeOfGlass · Member Joined: 14 Sep 2006 Posts: 92 Location: Australia

I just found out my sisters math teacher yelled at a kid for saying 'bless you' to someone who sneezed and then explained to the class the meaning of the phrase 'bless you'

XxT0R0saurusRAYxX · Still very bored Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 267

*design objects teacher chucked a chair out of a 2 story building window 0_o
*science- OMG i cant beleive you bloody CAZONTITES...STOP FART-ARSING AROUND!...geez man your not like zoo animals *sigh
*if you dont do your homework you give me food...[som1 laughs]-thats it what hav you got in your bag?!
*music teacher sometimes says "stupid,stupid,stupid" to himself.
*me with chips...art teacher-Ooohh..can i hav some?,my chemical romance? i like my chemical romance! [me-OMG!]
*my science teacher always put on a different accent while lecturing [indian,asian,british ect.] <-- "well, i luv chocolate, to me chocolate is orgasm whilst eating it" [ front row backs away slowly]
*english teacher tells class a joke about 'shagging'
and my maths teacher cried about 6 times already coz of the class >.>

yes my science teacher loves food ALOT